Obviously we should nickname him Ruby ( as in Ruby Murray the cockney rhyming slang for curry). So that gives us the chorus straight away (Kaiser Chiefs).Thats the easy bit now we just need the rest of the words. Anyone?
How about Craig Mackail-Smith. You know that Peterborough striker. He got 7 goals in the first 2 rounds of the F.A. Cup. Forsters getting old so we need a replacement.