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A bloke goes into a cafe near the Arctic Circle and asks the waiter what's on the menu. The waiter says: "We have whale meat, whale meat and whale meat. And today's special is the Vera Lynn." "What's that?" asks the bloke. "Whale meat again," says the waiter.

Talking of grandfathers, mine used to say, "As one door closes, another one opens" Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker

Whoever stole my copy of microsoft office , i will find you and kill you ............you have my word !

Surely you need this 🧻

What’s start with N and ends with N and has got something to do with having a sh!t? NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Why do scuba divers dive backwards? Cos if they went forward the would still be on the boat.

Not really a fan neat, but Marmite roast potatoes are next level.

Saw Blazing saddles as a 10 year old at school as our end of term film treat. All I remember was the farting scene.

I’ve got a date with a woman who identifies as a wheelie bin, but I can’t remember if I’m taking her out Tuesday or Thursday.

Very gouda.

I preferred them in Not the nine O’clock news.

Pomp.

You’re in trouble when you lay cable so big it’s laying there like a crocodile and is unflushable, you look round for the bog brush to break its back and there isn’t one. What does one do, toothbrush?

Always tried to avoid it when working in peoples houses. If every I was caught short it was an almighty push and flush straight away so the whole package went down to avoid any incriminating evidence. Do the paperwork after with separate flush.

Marseille for 2 Parking Stansted £72 Flights return to Marseille £440 Hotel 2 x nights £199 Match tickets £60 Bus from Airport to St Charles £16 Uber back to Airport £32 Food/ drink £150

Get the team back together again with Schofi Annan.