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Seriously, kill the f-ing thing now and follow the suggestion in your signature. Britain has a pretty vulnerable eco-system and the Malawian Arse-Weed is particularly unwelcome. Do us all a favour and donate any leftovers to the Natural History Museum or a garden centre but fercrissakes don't...

Looks worse up close.

They're the seeds of the "You shouldn't have brought that back to Blighty" tree. Daft idiot...

The roots haven't bedded in. You could pull those rolls of turf off quickly without the players falling over.

I was always sh1t at it. Didn't stop me trying to get the full-on Wembley Stadium look on the front room floor though. I once met a woman in Gibraltar that used to paint the players. Sat on the beach all day painting little plastic men. Someone had to, I suppose.

Carlisle away? I'd go. My Missus is Cumbrian. Brian hasn't complained yet.

Looks like Big Ted went through the square window.

Sheephaven Bay pub in Camden. Table already booked.

He continues to appear to be a top bloke that I will continue to put my trust in but, sometimes just sometimes, I wish the interviewer had a more incisive mind/script. The questions that need to be asked are rarely asked, particularly when one of Mr. Barber's responses demands that such a...

If Motson is commentating, have a drink every time he does one of those "Ha-HA!" pointlesss laughs to give himself thinking time, or where he's fallen over his own words. You'll be hammered before the teams have finished their warm-up.

500 years ago? That's late-reporting even by the Argus's standards.

Definitely Clarkson - arrogant, prejudiced, pontificating pr1ck.

Trying to force Theresa May's hand could backfire when £0.75m of Met money sits unauthorised and unused.

I'd rather have a channel dedicated to College Football and MLB. ESPN's coverage is really sporadic. Who likes this 'soccer' rubbish anyway?

I love tattoos - women, men, anyone. I certainly wouldn't limit a response by gender but I would say that it is the quality of tattoos that counts and so on that score, I've seen many, many more men with terrible tattoos than I have women so maybe the question should be asked of people's...

There's only 24 people on my team so we had a secondary draw today - I drew... to add to the mighty Costa Rica - Iran. Farq zake. :tantrum:

Knotted hankies on heads... sadly dying out now.

Ditto.

Pronunciation, not pronounciation. Just thought I'd stick my oar in to one of my pet prounounciationingness hates.