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The Bournemouth goal in the original post?

Well that makes everything a lot clearer! Why didn’t she just say that in the first place, then these hilarious work-place misunderstandings that seem to keep befalling me wouldn’t occur.

Arrived at work this morning to be confronted by a woman from Occupational Health who said she was there to do some random drug testing. “No problem, I replied. “But I’m not trying crack.”

£750 for missing the Christmas party?! Sounds like a f***ing BARGAIN to me

To be fair, I offered to see you the SAME day, until you started getting all picky when you found out I'm not a doctor.

Friday, innit? :banana: Standard Operating Procedure for a job on a Friday is string it out till 16.58hrs.

Happy to share lifts anytime. (Doesn't really matter where to).

Can't we just pretend we're not in, and hope the FSB leave the package with France instead and a little card telling us were it is?

For all of her many talents (?), Attention to Detail isn’t regarded across Whitehall as one of the Chancellor’s strong suits, which seems slightly unfortunate, given her brief. (As became painfully apparent at the launch of her book, ‘The Women Who Made Modern Economics’ when the assembled...

They should put that on the road signs on the approach to Harrogate.

Perhaps more intriguing still, are some of the other fraught conversations that have been taking place at the top of government these past few days… The ‘Big Re-set’, as it is being called, when the government will make a concerted effort to get back on the front foot, is planned for early in...

Exactly this, is what I heard this evening. Apparently, lights are burning long in Whitehall this evening as Treasury and Ag Ministry officials are frantically working through ‘mitigations’ that will be made available to genuine farmers, so long as NFU don’t claim a victory or call it a ‘climb...

Have you tried cutting down on the fibre? Failing that, maybe open a window. :thumbsup:

Mostly seen luzzing beer in a provincial fan zone on the BBC news whenever England win a Round of 16 game, wearing a replica England shirt with the JD Sports tag still on it and shouting “Itscominghome - COME ON!” Into the camera. Generally.

Arrived at work this morning only to discover someone had written my name and number on a cubicle wall in the gents. Again. Really, really pissed off. My number ends in a 7 not a 1, ffs.

Fully agree. And if they're clean, don't let them officiate.

“Yes Alan, but just about the right call on the handball?” (I’m not sure this new look MOTD will catch on tbh).

Yes. Yes he does. It went up about a week ago and he reported that Mrs Sutton had remarked that “they were a bit late this year.”

Senna and Prost, slugging it out from the front row of the grid, one last time. There’s no way they’d both emerge from the first corner; in fact I doubt if either of them would.

I once had to create and deliver a 45 minute presentation about telegraph poles and what the letters and numbers on them denote :facepalm: I'm not sure what I had done wrong to get that gig.