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I've tried but 'Depressed Man at Millets' seems to be all they want.

Poor sods can't even have unpacked yet. What a life.

Black is very slimming... and takes years off you.

Would you buy it if the club sold it? The club's retail manager is asking. I'd get a shirt straight away - anyone else?

"Gushan Mountain" - I used to have one of those in my y-fronts.

First one is the best, for me, and while I'm not a military man, the emotion expressed about fighting men far from home who aren't sure if they'll ever get home again (and want you to tell people, if you ever visit Sussex, that they stood and fell for their home county) is hard to beat. Sad as...

I often have a pee in the shower. Usually on days when I can't be bothered washing.

Are these two white men Irish, priests or both? You may still be on a sticky wicket... as the actress said to the bishop.

I'm on a promise right now. I think her exact words were "never again" but it was so long ago I might have got the quote a bit wrong. There may have been a description of me at the end of it.

Drinking milk and burping.

Cog > cms > best

Train and then a replacement bus from Preston for me. Mind you a free ticket from a BW employee (in the Albion end) softens the blow. He'll be in the Albion end with me. Ex-NFL practice squad player - big lad, could be useful if there's a bit of a barney. ��

I don't know where this hostility and desire to be patronising comes from; really I dont. Maybe we could have a beer at any away game, or meet up in Dick's some time. If I've done something to offend you then it was entirely inadvertent and I'm sorry it happened. We're just trying to create a...

1. I'm 50. 2. Perception and reality are often quite some way apart, or so I've found. 3. That's all that's worth saying for now.

Biggest problem is not being able to take a pint in. B45tard legislation. I think we only had one Yankee Doodle tonight so with luck it'll be nuggets by the weekend. Why do I think that Yankee Doodle is a chicken? No idea. Maybe I'm confusing it with Foghorn Leghorn.

So 165 of you got it wrong. �� Look, I'm a bit pished and on the train home - I might have got my sums wrong. I care not a jot.

Kaz tonight was a bloody embarrassment. He dives more than a submarine captain. Tom Daley isn't as good. 5.6 for artistic impression, etc. Appalling.

The song is outdated. Instead of that 70s "Let's eliminate difference" theory, I'd rather go for "Let's celebrate diversity" and make sure we all stay different, but appreciate what we all have to offer.

Great penalty save.

I work in London; West London sometimes. I still get there. Go me - what a hero I am. Incidentally, sing up!