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Never fear, Doctor Brighton is here to sort out your poor run of form It's our speciality

Now a straight race to the finish as to what kills us first between Putin and the climate catastrophe. Trump won't lift a finger to stop either.

There is much wrong with British elections. But here polls close at 10pm and 12 hours later (except in a few instances) everyone knows who won, who's forming the new Government and who the PM is. The idea the lead nation of the western world has it's flagship election open to lawsuits and many...

TBH it’s days like these that I sort of envy those people who just don’t care about the news. Imagine how much calmer and peaceful your night’s sleep will be if the thing you care most about in the world is who’s shagging who on Strictly.

Crystal Palace and Nil

This feels horribly like the Brexit referendum night TBH, nobody knows anything and both sides are making claims on stuff, but waking up to the nightmare scenario the next morning feels the likely outcome

It’s not even vaguely Melania, the qualifications required it seems are basically “be white and be a woman” and you get to be a fake Melania. Is that what he means by creating jobs?

Has Trump declared himself the winner and that any other result is fraud yet?

Don’t care about Trump. He’s a senile old fart and won’t be in post a year from now. Vance though is f***ing dangerous, and paired with Musk is potentially the end of the western democratic order.

Didn’t stop Kuenssberg calling the London Mayoral election for Susan Hall back in May

Good to hear all the problems in Clacton are solved, though

Phew

FFS it’s November and I can’t recall seeing a single “KILLER ARTIC BLAST” or “SNOWMAGEDDON” headline yet, even in the Express. We used to be a country.

N, N

Whatever happens tomorrow, I hope at some point Pete Buttigieg gets a shot, he seems a very reasonable guy (unfortunately as a gay man he probably hasn’t got a chance)

Stewards who look like swimwear models

Was going to say exactly this, places which specialise in something are definitely worth it, but most “generalist” places (there are some exceptions) don’t generally pass muster

Hans Gruber (Die Hard) Simon Skinner (Hot Fuzz) Bellatrix Lestrange (Harry Potter) All chosen not because of the plot lines necessarily but because the actors were clearly enjoying playing them, which makes the performances so utterly brilliant.