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Twop Twips (@TwopTwips) on Twitter wrote: 'Add insult to injury by writing the word 'Tw@t' on someone's plaster cast'. TNBA TTF

All self respecting newly weds should! TNBA TTF

Enjoy your wedding day today guys. All the very best for your future together. TNBA TTF

Well worth the visit. The run from Glasgow to Oban and Fort William is fabulous, best taken in the late Spring early Summer before the deadly midge and when the days are long. The Fort William to Mallaig line is gorgeous too, especially on the steam train that periodically runs the line. TNBA TTF

Advances

I found that buying F1 was more realistic and betterer. All the best Bernie Flintsone

Most certainly was. Must have said something to the referee. TNBA TTF

A man went to Harley Street in London, having seen an advert for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Knowing that nowadays, job advertisers aren't able to discriminate against the applicant's gender, he was very interested, so he went in and asked the Clerk for details. The Clerk pulled up the file...

Samantha Crain A truly brilliant talent. I can recommend 'Kid face' in fact all her back catalogue. She is great live, especially if she brings her backing band which includes the lovely Penny Hill on bass. Book now to avoid disappointment. I will see her twice the following week, in Glasgow...

I forgot about the procrastination statement. Re-enforces the argument methinks. Also Parmesan risotto sounds great, especially with ceps and peas. Might just rustle this up for lunch........ So Orlandi is now a food fashion guru and a lexicographic footballing intellectual who doesn't...

Much as I disagree with Galloway's politics, I admire him for his conviction of beliefs and ability to discuss and argue. I also firmly believe that Blair should have been impeached and should be prosecuted for his role in World de-stabilisation which will resonate for decades to come. Also his...

Really impressed by his command of the English language and his communication skills in the post match interview. Liked his statement with an appreciative statement about Bournemouth too. Their manager is very astute, will be very big in a decade methinks. We are quite a clever team aren't we...

Just off to the Three Judges in Glasgow in an hour for a few pints of fine real ale. You just canne wackit! TNBA TTF

Bridders on at half time methinks. TNBA TF

I wanted to bring my Drum to the Amex last year but was not allowed to. Why? All the best Simon Le Bon-Bon

Samantha Crain live at Komedia Brighton Brighton, UK This girl is absolutely fabulous, having got all her CDs and seen her four times. From Shawnee, Oklahoma. Download 'Kid Face' and tell me if you agree? Thinking of coming down for it. Book now.... TNBA TTF

MPP Alas working a.m. and won't make it. Will hopefully be back Home to see match. 8-0 to the Albion...nae problem. TNBA TTF

Better memory than me Max. Trying to rack my brain to think who I went with then? Must have been young Childs. The 8-2 was a bigger shocker and that was second worst nadir of the past 40 years. Trying to remember what was the worst nadir? TNBA TTF

I seem to remember Gwylan and I getting off PE at school, walking across to the Goldstone and watching it. Match summary- we weren't very good. Mid afternoon kick off due to electrical issues assoicate dwiht the energy crisis as seem to recall. Oh the memories. TNBA TTF

May I recommend this little one I have on my car? You wouldn't notice it, very very subtly installed and gives full 1080P definition, with zoom! I am pretty sure you wouldn't realise it was there if I hadn't mentioned it? I would also post the photo of my latest in-car cigarette lighter but...