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Stoopid things people do ( particularly wimin )
- Thread starter tip top
- Start date
- Sep 3, 2010
- 6,322
I phoned up my my mum today. It's my nans birthday and the phone line was dead.
'Bit worried about nan. Tried phoning her number but it's not working'
'That's odd. Spoke to her this morning'
'Can I check the number?
'You've been trying to phone your other nan whose been dead 10 years. No wonder she's not answering'
'Bit worried about nan. Tried phoning her number but it's not working'
'That's odd. Spoke to her this morning'
'Can I check the number?
'You've been trying to phone your other nan whose been dead 10 years. No wonder she's not answering'
People never cease to amaze me
Probably staged like a lot of things to get hits
I have two absolute belters when I was young one of my aunts was looking at some wedding photos which had been enlargerd and she commented '' It must have been an awful big camera which took those photos''
The same aunt who used to clean my grandfathers house for him when he got old
My grandfather only had a portable TV. After she finished her cleaning my grandfather if she wanted a cup of tea. She replied ''No thanks. I am going home to watch the Snooker because you can't see all the balls on your TV''
Lovely woman but about as bright as a 2 watt bulb
The same aunt who used to clean my grandfathers house for him when he got old
My grandfather only had a portable TV. After she finished her cleaning my grandfather if she wanted a cup of tea. She replied ''No thanks. I am going home to watch the Snooker because you can't see all the balls on your TV''
Lovely woman but about as bright as a 2 watt bulb
Wrong-Direction
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2013
- 13,765
They can't drive either..
Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk
FatSuperman
Well-known member
- Feb 25, 2016
- 2,970
I can't speak for all women of course, but the one I'm married to is wholly incapable of loading a dishwasher. She seems to have a rule of thumb along the lines of 'put as little as possible in, whilst taking up the maximum space and ensuring nothing can get cleaned properly'. She puts things in that are so high they stop the sprayer rotating. When I complain she just moans about how bad the dishwasher is. Honestly, it's staggering.
On a similar note, she constantly puts hot pans on the worktop, doesn't bother using a chopping board, etc. At our last place she spilled oven cleaner all over the wooden worktop and didn't bother to wipe it up immediately. Despite my constant warnings. I came home to two massive black burn marks. Had to sand and re-oil the thing.
ANOTHER thing that winds me up no end; she hates having dirty plates etc on the worktop, so will pile it all in the sink and fill the sink with water. She doesn't scrape any food etc off, just puts everything in the sink, totally randomly stacked and fills it up. Everything then gets covered in a layer of grease, and is thus ten times harder to clean than it ordinarily would have been.
When cooking, her approach is; 'why use one pan when I can use NINE'.
AND ALSO. Wait, how long have I got? Can this thread be just for me to moan please?
On a similar note, she constantly puts hot pans on the worktop, doesn't bother using a chopping board, etc. At our last place she spilled oven cleaner all over the wooden worktop and didn't bother to wipe it up immediately. Despite my constant warnings. I came home to two massive black burn marks. Had to sand and re-oil the thing.
ANOTHER thing that winds me up no end; she hates having dirty plates etc on the worktop, so will pile it all in the sink and fill the sink with water. She doesn't scrape any food etc off, just puts everything in the sink, totally randomly stacked and fills it up. Everything then gets covered in a layer of grease, and is thus ten times harder to clean than it ordinarily would have been.
When cooking, her approach is; 'why use one pan when I can use NINE'.
AND ALSO. Wait, how long have I got? Can this thread be just for me to moan please?
bluenitsuj
Listen to me!!!
Please do carry on.
FatSuperman
Well-known member
- Feb 25, 2016
- 2,970
She's super concerned about the environment, and aside from becoming a vegan likes to make sure we recycle. Of course, by recycling she means putting everything that isn't food in one bin. So I then have to go through it, in the middle of the night, removing all the glass items and things that are clearly not for the recycling bin. Like wood. Plants. That sort of thing. The brown garden waste bin is usually full of general waste because the waste bin is full.
The waste bin will be full because she's put a partially inflated paddling pool in it.
"Why is there a paddling pool in the bin"
"It's not summer any more and it's dirty"
"But we've got a shed. Remember you made me empty it and sort it all out last weekend, there's loads of space"
"It's dirty"
"Well I did advise not leaving it in a pile behind the shed, but nevertheless, we can clean it"
"I don't want the babies playing in a rancid paddling pool, I want a new one"
"Very eco dear. I'll go and stab it so the air comes out"
Keep going it's ****ing brilliant, I am on the floor with laughter...................... I think I used to live with her twin sister when I was in my 20s
Coldeanseagull
Opinionated
Ah, this could be about any woman really. The dishwasher and recycling would be funny if it hadn't been so close to home. Keys and glasses are my wifes favourite. "Don't put them down on a matching background, you'll be able to see them" I inform her. "Oh, you're so perfect" the snide reply, "I remember seventeen years ago, at five thirty two pm you couldn't find your keys....now are you going to get off your arse and help me find....doesn't matter" SLAM!
Garry Nelson's teacher
Well-known member
Quiz night, somewhere in Liverpool 1983. Two teams - blokes vs. women. Question to the women's team. In which season did an English club first win the Inter Cities fairs Cup? Cue much team discussion. Then the answer given by my mate's ex beauty queen girlfriend acting as captain: "We think" , she said with great authority, "it was the Spring."
Coldeanseagull
Opinionated
- Nov 3, 2015
- 3,526
Oh, love it. You two will be together FOR EVER.
FatSuperman
Well-known member
- Feb 25, 2016
- 2,970
VERY good point. We've got keyless entry and start on the car. You'd think that this would mean you simply put the key in your pocket / handbag / whatever and then never worry about it. Not my wife.
First of all, she has 12 keys on her key ring. The car key, the door key and several others that neither of us know what they're for. Whenever I take the car, I take the car key off and put it in my pocket and leave the rest of her jailers key ring in the car arm rest. This infuriates her. She doesn't know why I can't just have the 16 kilos of keys in my pocket.
Secondly, when she gets in the car, invariably she'll put the car key in the boot, or in the side pocket of the rear passenger door. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Why would you put it in the rear door pocket? I honestly cannot fathom this. Nigh on every time we arrive at our destination there is a needless row and frantic search whilst we look for the key.
"Maybe one of the kids has it"
"Why would they have it darling?"
"Well I might have left it on them when I was strapping them in"
"Ah yes, here it is, in Oliver's marmite sandwich"
"Told you!"
"Yes, I apologise for doubting you"
Despite this, last week I dropped her off at the Dr's for an appointment and went to collect our oldest from school. It was only when I tried to start the car after he'd finally dragged himself into the car that I realised that Mrs Fats had the car key. The only time in her life she's not hidden it somewhere in the car. She had to get a cab to where I was, whilst I waited with two toddlers and a moody 12 years old.
I actually hate keyless entry on cars, it's useless.
- Jul 7, 2003
- 48,245
Could it?
FatSuperman
Well-known member
- Feb 25, 2016
- 2,970
Haha, yeah it's the little things that grate, but actually all the important stuff is fine. I just get on with it.
She threw my cycle bottle away last month. I found out when I was about to go on the bike track at Bedgebury.
"Have you seen my drinks bottle"
"What drinks bottle"
"The one for my bike"
"Oh I threw that away"
"Oh. Why?"
"What do you mean why? We never use it, why do you hoard everything"
"I use it every week. Literally every Sunday morning"
"I threw it away over a week ago so obviously that's not true"
"Well yes. We were on holiday last week though"
"..."
"Ok. I'll get another and keep it in the shed from now on then"
She does hate clutter. The following that I can see right now does not constitute clutter though:
2 x big plastic storage boxes of cake making stuff
1 x big plastic storage box of bits of pretty wrapping paper that is added to each year, just in case we need a scrap of pretty paper
1 x storage drawers containing scraps of ribbon, string, a tiny sewing machine, stamps, ink, coloured card, glittery glue and all manner of crafty stuff
25 x balls of wool from that year she started learning to knit
1 x medium plastic storage box full of gift bags, containing other gift bags
1 x air compressor, 3 x spray guns, 6 x paint stuff (unopened)
The only thing that actually annoys me is whenever I'm in here (the office) I end up covered in glitter somehow. It's like the herpes of the craft world that stuff.
She threw my cycle bottle away last month. I found out when I was about to go on the bike track at Bedgebury.
"Have you seen my drinks bottle"
"What drinks bottle"
"The one for my bike"
"Oh I threw that away"
"Oh. Why?"
"What do you mean why? We never use it, why do you hoard everything"
"I use it every week. Literally every Sunday morning"
"I threw it away over a week ago so obviously that's not true"
"Well yes. We were on holiday last week though"
"..."
"Ok. I'll get another and keep it in the shed from now on then"
She does hate clutter. The following that I can see right now does not constitute clutter though:
2 x big plastic storage boxes of cake making stuff
1 x big plastic storage box of bits of pretty wrapping paper that is added to each year, just in case we need a scrap of pretty paper
1 x storage drawers containing scraps of ribbon, string, a tiny sewing machine, stamps, ink, coloured card, glittery glue and all manner of crafty stuff
25 x balls of wool from that year she started learning to knit
1 x medium plastic storage box full of gift bags, containing other gift bags
1 x air compressor, 3 x spray guns, 6 x paint stuff (unopened)
The only thing that actually annoys me is whenever I'm in here (the office) I end up covered in glitter somehow. It's like the herpes of the craft world that stuff.
