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Wonderful accident outside work



Digweeds Trousers

New member
May 17, 2004
2,079
Tunbridge Wells
not nice to laugh at people who are struggling physically but...........

Every lunchtime a fat bloke pushes past me in the corridor on his way to get his lunch - usually see him coming back down the road with fish and chips - every day!

Anyway today saw him come back from lunch crossing the road ith half a haddock hanging out of his fat digusting gob.

Gust of wind, and hey presto his chips were blown back into the road - that made me laugh out loud.

Anyway the f***ing great Bunter then decides to suddenly lurch back into the road to rescue his fat snack and BANG!!!

Smacked by a volvo and over the bonnet and over the roof and splat - one great bulbous mess in the road.

He seemed ok as the car was only doing about 25 miles per hour - ambulance turned up and off he went.

Rude obnoxious man who only cares about his colossal gut and what he can hoover up into it.

Anyway - what was the best bit of karma you have witnessed befall someone you found filled you with rage and disgust???
 






Wilko

LUZZING chairs about
Sep 19, 2003
9,927
BN1
f***ing hell, that's a bit harsh INNIT. Funny if he dropped his chips or shit himself but being run over is not that funny surely?

On the other hand, calling him a 'f***ing great Bunter' is brillio
 


Digweeds Trousers

New member
May 17, 2004
2,079
Tunbridge Wells
ah - come on - he's not dead. He was almost on his feet when he was helped into the ambulance - I'm guessing it was ketchup and not claret on his shirt.

Just the way he wheezes down the corridor and actually puts his spongy sweaty hnds on your shoulder to hoik you out the way - just so he can get to the chippy before they sell out - and he stinks of piss
 


Arthur

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
8,705
Buxted Harbour
ah - come on - he's not dead. He was almost on his feet when he was helped into the ambulance - I'm guessing it was ketchup and not claret on his shirt.

Just the way he wheezes down the corridor and actually puts his spongy sweaty hnds on your shoulder to hoik you out the way - just so he can get to the chippy before they sell out - and he stinks of piss

You don't work in the tax office do you?
 






Rangdo

Registered Cider Drinker
Apr 21, 2004
4,779
Cider Country


Don't forget you were a witness DT, and you must make sure that the driver is not sued for fault by Mr Bunter. He'd afford a lot more haddocks if he cashes in, and it's only right to consider the depletion of the world haddock reserves.

You might even get to stand up in court and tell it just as you told it here; "if it pleases your honour, he was thinking about his ugly gut before his own safety - and I put it to you that he's a generally self-centred fat c**t in every department"
 




Kinky Gerbil

Im The Scatman
NSC Patron
Jul 16, 2003
58,583
hassocks
not nice to laugh at people who are struggling physically but...........

Every lunchtime a fat bloke pushes past me in the corridor on his way to get his lunch - usually see him coming back down the road with fish and chips - every day!

Anyway today saw him come back from lunch crossing the road ith half a haddock hanging out of his fat digusting gob.

Gust of wind, and hey presto his chips were blown back into the road - that made me laugh out loud.

Anyway the f***ing great Bunter then decides to suddenly lurch back into the road to rescue his fat snack and BANG!!!

Smacked by a volvo and over the bonnet and over the roof and splat - one great bulbous mess in the road.

He seemed ok as the car was only doing about 25 miles per hour - ambulance turned up and off he went.

Rude obnoxious man who only cares about his colossal gut and what he can hoover up into it.

Anyway - what was the best bit of karma you have witnessed befall someone you found filled you with rage and disgust???

thats funny
 


Captain Haddock

New member
Aug 2, 2005
2,128
The Deep Blue Sea
Don't forget you were a witness DT, and you must make sure that the driver is not sued for fault by Mr Bunter. He'd afford a lot more haddocks if he cashes in, and it's only right to consider the depletion of the world haddock reserves.
You might even get to stand up in court and tell it just as you told it here; "if it pleases your honour, he was thinking about his ugly gut before his own safety - and I put it to you that he's a generally self-centred fat c**t in every department"

Too right, though I don't even have a first team if truth be told :blush:
 






Rangdo

Registered Cider Drinker
Apr 21, 2004
4,779
Cider Country
You might even get to stand up in court and tell it just as you told it here; "if it pleases your honour, he was thinking about his ugly gut before his own safety - and I put it to you that he's a generally self-centred fat c**t in every department"

Don't forget to mention the piss. Thats the most important part!!
 








csider

New member
Dec 11, 2006
4,497
Hove
:laugh:

Can see the Arus front page

Urine Covered Man Battered by Volvo

:laugh:
 


Digweeds Trousers

New member
May 17, 2004
2,079
Tunbridge Wells
not in the tax office no.

Otherwise I would be a sad lonely pervert jerking off under the desk over pictures of thai girls and boys.............

Ah shite I see what I've done there
 


Gully

Monkey in a seagull suit.
Apr 24, 2004
16,812
Way out west
...I have fish pie to look forward to for my tea...that has just put me off it somewhat!
 










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