Wimbledon crowds are essentially twats: Discuss

[Raphael Meade]

No Edna's right. If you play tennis then you're a poof. If you like tennis then you're a poof. If you watch tennis on telelvision then you're a poof, if you go to Wimbledon then you're a poof. And if you shout out "Come on Tim' (or whoever is the Tim Henman de nos jours) then you're a complete and total poof.

summed up beautifully

 

[Easy 10]

Do you think they could have invented tennis on cobbles?

That would be bloody BRILLIANT to watch.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

I've been to big football matches, the Rugby World Cup Final, a few Ashes tests, and last years Australian Open Final (Sharapova Vs Ivanovic). The tennis was f***ing RUBBISH (apart from stocked up wanking material)

 

[Gazwag]

No Edna's right. If you play tennis then you're a poof.

Looks like I 'd better move to Brighton then

We invented Tennis not the French.

Err no

 

[Man of Harveys]

We invented Tennis not the French.

Well, yes and no. Real Tennis has its origins in France. All the terms, like love, deuce and the word tennis itself come from France. But yes, the first lawn tennis was invented - by a Spaniard and a Brit - in the UK. Jolly good show, come on Timothy etc.

 

[pasty]

come on Timothy

Just those 3 words sum up for me why Henman never won a major. I can't think of a SINGLE successful sportsman called Timothy. It's just not right.

 

[WATFORD zero]

I hope the Uninvited Guest is watching this edna, to see how it's done. Ever since i read your first post, I haven't been able to get this image out of my head

 

[Don Quixote]

Looks like I 'd better move to Brighton then



Err no

ERRRRR yes!

 

[Barrow Boy]

Why is it that during some rallies, someone, usually a woman, finds that a point/shot so mindblowing they have to let out a piercing shriek as if they have just been stabbed ?

Are their lives so shallow and empty that to lose that point would seem like the end of the world ?

Exactly, and this was who started that particularly annoying and attention grabbing, "Ooh look at me", type of outburst, just get on with the bloody game!

[yt]0bctYKlgBQQ[/yt]

 

[Gazwag]

ERRRRR yes!

most historians credit the first origins of the game to 11th or 12th century French monks, who began playing a crude handball against their monastery walls or over a rope strung across a courtyard. The nobility learned the game from the monks, and some accounts report as many as 1800 courts in France by the 13th century. The game became such a popular diversion, both the Pope and Louis IV tried unsuccessfully to ban it. It soon spread to England, where both Henry VII and Henry VIII were avid players who promoted the building of more courts.

 

[vegster]

Exactly, and this was who started that particularly annoying and attention grabbing, "Ooh look at me", type of outburst, just get on with the bloody game!

[yt]0bctYKlgBQQ[/yt]

I was refering to the audience. It's similar to when Dancing on Ice/Strictly Come Dancing/ X Factor when some saddo who's life is hollow screams orgasmicaly at a flip/twist/lift/drop shot/ high note etc. etc.

 

[Easy 10]

Why is it that during some rallies, someone, usually a woman, finds that a point/shot so mindblowing they have to let out a piercing shriek as if they have just been stabbed ?

Monica Seles would let out that shriek, even when it wasn't even during a rally.

 

[bhafc99]

Moving slightly on from justified bashing of the Daily-Mail-reading, probably-go-to-a-West-End-"show"-after-their-day-at-Wimbledon crowds...

Another thing that narks me is the obsessive cut-to-shot of the player's girlfriend/boyfriend in the box seats. If it's a Brit male playing, girlfriend will be a posh bird called Lucy or Lucinda wearing designer sunglasses and looking inscrutable if slightly crushed as her chap exits with a whimper in 4 sets. If it's a woman on court, it will be a massive East European called Sergei, alongside 47 other similarly mustachioed members of her entourage, all bellowing instructions to the slightly bewildered player.

I know the whole WAG thing kinda took over the 2006 World Cup, but is there another sport on earth that's so ****ing obsessed with showing the player's partner every thirteen ****ing seconds?

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Moving slightly on from justified bashing of the Daily-Mail-reading, probably-go-to-a-West-End-"show"-after-their-day-at-Wimbledon crowds...

Another thing that narks me is the obsessive cut-to-shot of the player's girlfriend/boyfriend in the box seats. If it's a Brit male playing, girlfriend will be a posh bird called Lucy or Lucinda wearing designer sunglasses and looking inscrutable if slightly crushed as her chap exits with a whimper in 4 sets. If it's a woman on court, it will be a massive East European called Sergei, alongside 47 other similarly mustachioed members of her entourage, all bellowing instructions to the slightly bewildered player.

I know the whole WAG thing kinda took over the 2006 World Cup, but is there another sport on earth that's so ****ing obsessed with showing the player's partner every thirteen ****ing seconds?

I know what you mean. We saw almost as much of Andy Murray's mum yesterday as we did of the tennis.

I hope he does well, but does anyone give a shit what Mrs Murray thinks?

 

[Jahooli]

Every sodding year on Points of View or something....I would just like to thank those often overlooked and forgotten about hardworking members of the team who have ensured the free flowing games and smooth running between sets that we have come to take for granted at Wimbledon. I am of course referring to the ball boys and girls, well done to one and all ! ! !
Shut the hell up you boring twat, what the hell happens in other countries?
Do you witness players endlessly tripping over the torrents of balls that ebb and flow like leaves in the wind?
No you don't cos they get picked up. You probably don't watch any other tournament to be able to know any better.

 

[Pavilionaire]

is there another sport on earth that's so ****ing obsessed with showing the player's partner every thirteen ****ing seconds?

Yeah, darts.

The Power's missus Yvonne Taylor is still the most recognised woman in darts despite Trina Gulliver appearing in 9 consecutive world finals, winning 7 of them.

 

[The Spanish]

I know what you mean. We saw almost as much of Andy Murray's mum yesterday as we did of the tennis.

I hope he does well, but does anyone give a shit what Mrs Murray thinks?

There is some serious incest going on in that family, I reckon.

All tennisers are wrong uns. Oddballs sport.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

There is some serious incest going on in that family, I reckon.

Not to mention some shocking hair.

It's rather unfortunate for Britain's current tennis hero that he's no looker. Looks get you everywhere in sport- witness how many unspectacular players in all sports get rich if they're perceived to be attractive. Anna Kournikova was the classic example. Granted, Andy Murray isn't exactly skint, but he'd make millions more if there was the slightest chance his management could flog merchandise to screaming girlies (especially in the Far East) based on his image, a la David Beckham. As it is, they have to rely on his tennis.

Which I suppose is no bad thing

 

[Pretty pink fairy]

the sweaty reeks of personality !!!

 

[The Spanish]

Not to mention some shocking hair.

It's rather unfortunate for Britain's current tennis hero that he's no looker. Looks get you everywhere in sport- witness how many unspectacular players in all sports get rich if they're perceived to be attractive. Anna Kournikova was the classic example. Granted, Andy Murray isn't exactly skint, but he'd make millions more if there was the slightest chance his management could flog merchandise to screaming girlies (especially in the Far East) based on his image, a la David Beckham. As it is, they have to rely on his tennis.

Which I suppose is no bad thing

I think that tennis players would not have so much of an image or marketing problem if they were not

complete loner wierdos
groomed from a young age by suspect coaches
had to dress up like they are either working on a cruise ship or going to a birthday party for 9 year old girls
have oddball pushy parents
totally disliked at school
posh
utterly self obsessed
boring wankers
the sort of people who storm off crying as kids if they lose a board game and start hyperventilating in their mums arms for an hour until they calm down while all the other kids look on bemused


for a start.