Who's the biggest COCKER?

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

Who's the biggest COCKER in the Premiership?

1)El Hadj Diouf

Notorious twat who enjoys spitting in peoples faces. Olympic gold standard at diving and an expert at pretending to be injured. In terms of acting talent, Diouf is an Oscar winner whilst Leon is an extra on Eastenders.

2)Robbie Savage

Welsh twat with stupid ponytail. Has become a multi-millionaire out of a career of total mediocraty. Moved to Blackburn to be closer to his family despite the fact that Birmingham is closer to Wrexham. Tries to act like a hardman but enjoys feigning injury and diving, normally runs off when faced by a real headcase. Has a tendency to cry when the pressure's on. Welsh.

3)Craig Bellamy

Welsh twat with small stupid ponytail. Gobby bastard who likes to talk himself up and considers himself to be better than every other player on his team. Enjoys getting into scraps outside nightclubs, particuarly enjoys hitting female students. Refused to play on the right hand side of midfield because he likes playing up front. Paid an obscene amount of money and likes to taunt opponents over this. Welsh.

Anymore for anymore?

 

[The Great Cornholio]

KinkyGoebels!

 

[Easy 10]

Damn thats a toughie, Shelton. This would make a good poll. I think, on balance, it has to be Diouf (for the spitting, cheating and arrogance - what a combo). But I would be absolutely delighted to see all three trapped in a burning building.

 

[The Laughing Bluebird]

2)Robbie Savage: Welsh twat with stupid ponytail. Moved to Blackburn to be closer to his family despite the fact that Birmingham is closer to Wrexham. Welsh.

3)Craig Bellamy: Welsh twat with small stupid ponytail. Welsh.

Your bird hasn't run off with a Welshman by any chance, has she?

Savage has cleared up the Birmingham / Wrexham / Blackburn geography conundrum since his transfer. Whilst playing for Birmingham he has been living in Stratford-upon-Avon. Now that he has signed for Blackburn he is moving to Cheshire.

 

[NMH]

yeah LB, but that still doesn't excuse the fact that he's .....WELSH

 

[CHAPPERS]

Before last night I would have said Robbie Savage but after that dive I'm gonna go for the dirty, spitting, cheating TWAT that is Diouf.

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

Bird? I'm a Brighton fan FFS!

No, i'm just indulging in some standard English arrogance. The fact that El Hadj Diouf is Senegalese doesn't bother me. Now if he came from Mauritania it would be a different story.

In the interests of balance i'll open up suggestions for an English Premiership twat. I was thinking of Kieron Dyer.

4)?

 

[Lammy]

Can I add Roy Keane to that list please?


Bellamy and Diouf are equally vile and annoying. Both should be kicked out of the beautiful game.

I have a soft spot for Savage as he's basically just a wind up merchant with no real menace. I actually find some of his antic quite amusing!

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

Can I vote for The Whole Of The Newcastle United First Team?

I just hate them. All.

 

[Hannibal smith]

In the interests of balance i'll open up suggestions for an English Premiership twat. I was thinking of Kieron Dyer.

4)?

Dyer isn't a bad shout but what about Andy, Sorry Andrew Cole.

1. He insists on being called Andrew rather than Andy. Why?
2. His retirement from the England team when he had long since been dropped.
3. The fact that he is and always was SHITE

 

[CHAPPERS]

Andy, Sorry Andrew Cole.

1. He insists on being called Andrew rather than Andy. Why?
2. His retirement from the England team when he had long since been dropped.
3. The fact that he is and always was SHITE

1. It's his name innit?
2. Fair play.
3. Even when he scored 40 goals in one season?

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

Don't forget Andrew's music career. Here's a review of his (so far only) single.

The title says it all...Outstanding, March 19, 2001
Reviewer: A music fan from Paris
Andrew Cole hits the back of the net with this immaculate single. More renowned for his scoring prowess at Manchester United, Andrew scores again, this time in the world of R&B. He really hits the target with "Outstanding". My advice to you - don your leather jacket and gold jewellry and choose "Outstanding" as your soudtrack to a night's cruisin' around the town.

 

[Hannibal smith]

3. Even when he scored 40 goals in one season?

Don't bring stats into it chappers! I cant help irrational hatreds. I've always wanted to punch Andy Cole due to his sulky demeanour, attitude and generally anything he does including breathing.

If I earnt £40K a week for playing footy, the least I would do is smile.

And another English idiot. Stan Collymore.