Digweeds Trousers
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We've just a few calls from the national papers....let me just say the Queen is not dead, unless she passed away in the night and is yet to be discovered
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What is your favourite Alan Partridge moment ever?
- Thread starter Digweeds Trousers
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Set of Tracksuits
Active member
tricky said:
I think that might be the one where they debate the use of the word "who" and "whom". Superb stuff, I really need to buy the collection of those tapes again.
alan partridge
Active member
but you are a little shit
Alan: "What do you think they've sprayed on the side of my car?"
Receptionist (after thinking for a moment): "Tosser?"
So much of AP humor though isn't so much the actual lines as the way he delivers them and his facial expression.
Receptionist (after thinking for a moment): "Tosser?"
So much of AP humor though isn't so much the actual lines as the way he delivers them and his facial expression.
Ex Shelton Seagull
New member
SIMON : "Have you seen Hamlet Mr Partridge?"
MR FISHER: "Not now Simon"
ALAN: "Yes I have"
SIMON: "I saw it with Alan Rickman, who did you see it with?"
ALAN: "My wife Carol"
SIMON: "No, who was playing the lead?"
ALAN: "Well, Hamlet"
SIMON: "Oh yes, the great actor Bert Hamlet! Who was the actor?"
ALAN: "I don't know, er, Bernard Cribbins. I don't remember, it was years ago"
SIMON: "Have you been to the ballet?"
ALAN: "No"
SIMON: "Have you seen Citizen Kane?"
ALAN: "Yes, I watched every episode. Power to the people!"
SIMON: "Have you read Metamorphasis?"
ALAN: "Yes"
SIMON: "What's it about?"
ALAN "No, no I haven't read it"
SIMON: "Have you seen the works of Botticelli?"
ALAN: "No"
SIMON: "Have you listened to Verdi?"
ALAN (Agitated by now) "No, no, right what about you? What about you? Have you got, have you got any pubic hair?"
SIMON: "No because i'm only nine!"
ALAN "Right, well i'm thirty eight and i've got loads! Another thing, can you do this? (in a deep voice) Aaaaaaahh!"
SIMON: "No, because my voice hasn't broken yet"
ALAN: "Right and don't forget it. Are you a boy or a girl?"
SIMON: "I'm a boy! My name is Simon."
ALAN: "Really? Could be Simone, could be Simone, cos you sound like a girl. Another thing, what's that on your shoulder?"
(Alan slaps Simon)
SIMON (crying in pain) "He struck me Father!"
MR FISHER: "Right it's gone too far now!"
ALAN: "I'm sorry, i'm sorry, I went too far. I'm just not very good with kids, just ask my wife Carol. But you are a little shit! That said, thankyou for coming on the show! Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fishers!"
MR FISHER: "Not now Simon"
ALAN: "Yes I have"
SIMON: "I saw it with Alan Rickman, who did you see it with?"
ALAN: "My wife Carol"
SIMON: "No, who was playing the lead?"
ALAN: "Well, Hamlet"
SIMON: "Oh yes, the great actor Bert Hamlet! Who was the actor?"
ALAN: "I don't know, er, Bernard Cribbins. I don't remember, it was years ago"
SIMON: "Have you been to the ballet?"
ALAN: "No"
SIMON: "Have you seen Citizen Kane?"
ALAN: "Yes, I watched every episode. Power to the people!"
SIMON: "Have you read Metamorphasis?"
ALAN: "Yes"
SIMON: "What's it about?"
ALAN "No, no I haven't read it"
SIMON: "Have you seen the works of Botticelli?"
ALAN: "No"
SIMON: "Have you listened to Verdi?"
ALAN (Agitated by now) "No, no, right what about you? What about you? Have you got, have you got any pubic hair?"
SIMON: "No because i'm only nine!"
ALAN "Right, well i'm thirty eight and i've got loads! Another thing, can you do this? (in a deep voice) Aaaaaaahh!"
SIMON: "No, because my voice hasn't broken yet"
ALAN: "Right and don't forget it. Are you a boy or a girl?"
SIMON: "I'm a boy! My name is Simon."
ALAN: "Really? Could be Simone, could be Simone, cos you sound like a girl. Another thing, what's that on your shoulder?"
(Alan slaps Simon)
SIMON (crying in pain) "He struck me Father!"
MR FISHER: "Right it's gone too far now!"
ALAN: "I'm sorry, i'm sorry, I went too far. I'm just not very good with kids, just ask my wife Carol. But you are a little shit! That said, thankyou for coming on the show! Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fishers!"
Set of Tracksuits
Active member
Classic.
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
When the estate agent showing Alan round that house assumes Lynn is his wife.
"Who her ? No, no, Lynns not my wife. She's been my assistant for a long time, but theres no affection".
"Who her ? No, no, Lynns not my wife. She's been my assistant for a long time, but theres no affection".
Scarface
New member
'He thinks, well I'm gonna get my moneys worth. So he flips him over and he fu..fu..funnily enough it starts first time and they just drive away!'
'No Alan you cant' (In S.African accent)
'Well there's no need for that!'
'You could be a bond villain. Dr No....vocal cords!'
'No Alan you cant' (In S.African accent)
'Well there's no need for that!'
'You could be a bond villain. Dr No....vocal cords!'
pasty
A different kind of pasty
Favourite moment is the end of each series.
Beach Hut
Brighton Bhuna Boy
When he is talking to the two Irish producers about Sunday Bloody Sunday:
Don't you just love that song, you know you wake up on a Sunday morning and think Sunday, Bloody Sunday"
Also the time when he kept popping out of his jogging shorts that didn't have the "pant liner".
Plus the meeting with the South African when the house being built was set up and the toilet door was a table - priceless
Don't you just love that song, you know you wake up on a Sunday morning and think Sunday, Bloody Sunday"
Also the time when he kept popping out of his jogging shorts that didn't have the "pant liner".
Plus the meeting with the South African when the house being built was set up and the toilet door was a table - priceless
Brighton Breezy
New member
"Do you mind if I...go and talk to someone else?"
Set of Tracksuits
Active member
Richie Morris said:
"Were you close?"
Albion Edd
Brighton til die
When he's having that political debate, and ends up chasing those streakers.
Also the abba medely is hilarious
Also the abba medely is hilarious
NorCalSeagull
New member
the outtakes always gets me. Partridge in full Popeye attire, can of spinach in hand "i'm Popeye Partridge", then attempts to pour the spinach into his gob. It just sits on top of his face , then - through the spinach- he mumbles "in the cartoon it goes straight down"
other than that the classic "don't rub your fanny on me"
other than that the classic "don't rub your fanny on me"
mejonaNO12 aka riskit
Well-known member
the geordie monkey story and DAN
geordie: there was this one time right. i had a monkey right. and i left it for a bit right. and when i came back right. it had eaten all me fags right.
alan: <chuckle>
geordie contines.....'so i picked it up right. and i threw it in the sea'
alan: you threw a monkey into the sea
geordie:well it had eaten all me fags man. a big pack of duty frees right.
oh maybe not funny reading it but made me laugh when i saw it!
geordie: there was this one time right. i had a monkey right. and i left it for a bit right. and when i came back right. it had eaten all me fags right.
alan: <chuckle>
geordie contines.....'so i picked it up right. and i threw it in the sea'
alan: you threw a monkey into the sea
geordie:well it had eaten all me fags man. a big pack of duty frees right.
oh maybe not funny reading it but made me laugh when i saw it!
D
Deleted User X18H
Guest
The day today at the Races -when Observing the tic tac man 'even the deaf are catered for look at that mad fool'.
D
Deleted User X18H
Guest
.........and' Lyn they're sex people- don't make the same noises'
Mrs Hove BB says her's is Ladyboys
Mrs Hove BB says her's is Ladyboys
NorCalSeagull
New member
"don't throw water on a fat fire - it'll take your face off!"
The Clown of Pevensey Bay
Well-known member
"Cook Pass Babtridge"