VIZ Letterbocks and Top Tips

[simon195]

If your late for work...just explain that you had a dream bha were playing in a cup final against chelsea, and it went into extra time, the boss will think you were def bloody dreaming !!!

 

[alan partridge]

My favourite sexual fantasy is to be tossed off by Jeremy Beadle with his deformed hand whilst 70s novelty popsters The Wurzles sit around watching, occassionally moaning 'Oo-aaaaar' to heighten the erotic ambiance. Can any of your readers beat that?

N.N.
North Yorkshire

 

[Mackenzie]

Make your wife think she has followed through by inserting a chocolate button between her arse cheeks when she is asleep.

 

[Murray 17]

Does anyone else have this problem ? Every time I close my fridge door the light goes out. Bloody swizz.

And the follow-up to this was:

"Drill a hole in your fridge door so you can check whether the light goes out everytime you close it!"

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

save money on expensive binoculars by simply standing closer to the object which you wish to view

 

[scarby]

get an instant 'designer stubble' by putting a magnet in your mouth and dip your chin in a bucket of iron filings.........

 

[hart's shirt]

Always losing things?
Tie a piece of string to everything in the house and next time you're looking for something, simply grab the string and follow it.

 

[simon195]

Always losing things?
Tie a piece of string to everything in the house and next time you're looking for something, simply grab the string and follow it.

yeah thats ok, but what if you pull the wifes you know what by mistake, just hope its a t bag

 

[The Large One]

ROD HULL. It finished 1-1 by the way.

 

[surrey jim]

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

 

[surrey jim]

PEOPLE whose surname is Toblerone should always take along an empty 'Toblerone' chocolate box when attending interviews for office jobs. This would save your potential employer the expense of having to make a name plaque for your desk, and therefore increase your chances of getting the job.

 

[simon195]

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Who needs condoms..just nick a lhandful of balloons that will be flying about tomorrow black/gold?? carnt go wrong with that !!!!!