Top 10 riddiculous movie conventions

[Easy 10]

You can, without fail, render someone instantly unconcious with a punch to the jaw, or by breaking a vase on their head.

 

[Seasider78]

Train crossings provide a useful resource when outrunning bad guys

 

[Stat Brother]

No one goes in to the toilet to have a pee or a crap.. If there is any scene involving some one walking in to a public toilet they are either

A, Going to be killed

B, Going to discover a body

C, Going to assemble/set a bomb

D, going to put on/take off a disguise

How much money would you pay to watch the Bond film where Bond picks up a copy of The Sun, from the pub table, next to his own.

Then says to his love interest:-

'Ok love get us another pint of wife beater, I'm off to drop the kids of at the pool'.

 

[algie]

You can, without fail, render someone instantly unconcious with a punch to the jaw, or by breaking a vase on their head.

I thought you loved those sort of films? The ones where heros jump through glass windows and don't even get a scratch.Glass is nasty and i certainly have a few stitches to prove it.

 

[Seasider78]

Driving on the pavement causes no injury to the public and at worst destroys a few tables,chairs and boxes

 

[Don Quixote]

arnold scwartzernegger, in predator, evaids the predator's heat seeking vision by putting some mud on him. then saying "He couldn't see me"

that i believe is the worst

 

[Garage_Doors]

After a love scene where that have gone hell for leather totally naked, the woman will leave the bed taking the bed sheet to cover her modesty.

 

[Fungus]

All movie heroes can type at lightning speed on a computer keyboard using all 10 fingers and thumbs without a spelling mistake.... specially noticeable when a code has to be entered at breakneck speed

And they never use a mouse, even when manipulating graphics (usually photo-fits of the baddies).

 

[Robdinho]

The baddie is always English

Dogs NEVER get killed
Horses ALWAYS get killed.

Fuzzy photographs can be turned into crystal clear images using computers.

 

[NMH]

The hero gets smacked all over the show, but..... no black eyes!
Instead of lamenting the pain in his jaw, he's only SNOGGING enthusiastically within minutes!

You always KNOW you are going to see a character throughout the film, because guess what - it's someone well FAMOUS playing that part!

 

[NMH]

arnold scwartzernegger, in predator, evaids the predator's heat seeking vision by putting some mud on him. then saying "He couldn't see me"

that i believe is the worst

No, no that's TRUE - mud does prevent predators with heat seeking vision from seeing a person.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

And they never use a mouse, even when manipulating graphics (usually photo-fits of the baddies).

Computers in movies never, ever use any kind of programming language, but respond entirely to commands in English, the result of which is that any dastardly villain and/or cheeky teenage hacker can type in
Launch Missile

(which will appear on screen in giant green letters), and set into motion the targeting of enormous warheads at those darned Russians.

 

[Southwick_Seagull]

No matter where or what the situation is America will save the world

The young blonde teenage in a huge house miles from anyone must first take her top off for no apparent reason before being murdered

In sports movies the underdog must always win or score the "moral" victory

If someone says something along the lines of "Don't worry I'll be back home safely" there as good as dead

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Football movies always feature a highly improbably second half comeback, culminating in an injury time or penalty shoot out win for the plucky good guys.

 

[Cian]

Football movies always feature a highly improbably second half comeback, culminating in an injury time or penalty shoot out win for the plucky good guys.

Clearly the script writers have been following our cup runs too closely.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Clearly the script writers have been following our cup runs too closely.

Surely not, it's nothing like the Albion- the actual football in movies is always utterly shit, as a bunch of untalented imposters run out and unsuccessfully attempt to convince the audience they're skilled ball players who what they're doing...


.....oh.

 

[The Large One]

One match lights an entire room/cave/actor's head.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

1) Happiness can only be achieved if you are physically attractive

2) Ugly girls become instantly attractive the moment they remove their glasses and untie their hair.

 

[The Large One]

American scripts call for some inane dialogue as a bog standard plot device for those with in need of a workable braincell.

'I'm calling Dr Bergstrom'

'Dr Lars Bergstrom, the Swedish doctor - from Helsinki?'

 

[The Large One]

Why do no actors driving cars ever tell the camerman to f*** off because he's obstructing their driving view and tell them that cameras on car bonnets are a f***ing dangerous idea anyway?

And how do they go round corner without turning the sterring wheel?