Tonight I enter the Celebrity Big Brother House

[Skaville]

Now then, now then. I am allowed one luxury item and I have decided to take a list of questions from my friends on NSC.

What questions would you ask the housemates?

Please get them in quick. I'm meeting Davina at 5pm for a pint and a scotch egg.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Cigars

 

[dwayne]

Now then

 

[Wardy]

Can you ask Peter if he knows that he / she looks like a f***ing pile of horse shit please.

 

[BUTTERBALL]

Can you fix it for me to confront Barrymore about the suspcious pool death

 

[Skaville]

Can you fix it for me to confront Barrymore about the suspcious pool death

Yes and you can give him a little whack with your fix it badge if you like.

 

[Skaville]

Can you ask Peter if he knows that he / she looks like a f***ing pile of horse shit please.

Now then, now then. That's a little close to the mark young man. Goodness gracious.

 

[Woodchip]

Pete Burns look like The Wraith from Staragte Atlantis

 

[Man of Harveys]

Ask yourself: do you really shag dead people as long rumoured?

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Dear Jim'll,

Please may you make it possible to get Jodie Marshs tits out on live tv.

Yours faithfully,

BarrelofFun

Age: 25

 

[Simster]

Could you ask Rodman to shag that boring braindead thing out of baywatch who spends her whole time sucking up and idolising him.

In fact, tell him do do her up the WRONG'UN in full view of the cameras - the NSP wank bank is running low. Erm, probably.

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Dear Jim.

Please can you fix it so that our television schedules is not filled up with so called 'reality' shows or 'celebrity' shite.

Yours sincerely

Tony Meola (aged 8)

 

[Skaville]

Ask yourself: do you really shag dead people as long rumoured?

It's not true! Some of them play dead though. It's a bit tricky to get them excited with my somehat old and saggy appendage. That's why I always have a cigar with me. I taught Bill Clinton everything he knows.

 

[Skaville]

Dear Jim.

Please can you fix it so that our television schedules is not filled up with so called 'reality' shows or 'celebrity' shite.

Yours sincerely

Tony Meola (aged 8)

Dear Tony

You know that Jim fixed it for you to go to the Hull game. There are plenty of girls and boys out there that want Jim to fix it for them. Please stop being a greedy little boy.

Yours sincerely

Jim

 

[smudge]

Hows about asking that freak show why he is such a c u n t? (The cod faced one) then ask Galloway & Barrymore if they could just shut the f*** up.

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Dear Tony

You know that Jim fixed it for you to go to the Hull game. There are plenty of girls and boys out there that want Jim to fix it for them. Please stop being a greedy little boy.

Yours sincerely

Jim