Things You Wish Your Girlfriend Said

[Gerbil]

I've got my period.

How much did she cost again?

 

[hart's shirt]

"Forget the whole Valentine and Birthday thing and go and buy a seat at Falmer.
Just one though - I wouldn't want to get in your way."

"Are you sure you've had enough to drink?"

"Let's go down to the beach so that you can look at other women."

 

[wahoo]

now that is what you call a cock , (, whilst pointing at your winky) and adds " if you put that in me you will split me in half

 

[forumwayseagull]

shoot your man yoghurt in my hair, I love that....

 

[empire]

fancy a nosh,its jam doughnut week

 

[Hove Lagoonery]

"You know you said you wanted me to get a pair of my sister's used knickers for you to lick? well, you didn't say what colour"

 

[wahoo]

"You know you said you wanted me to get a pair of my sister's used knickers for you to lick? well, you didn't say what colour"

why does that make me think you like to lick your sisters knickers?

 

[Don Quixote]

I'm pregnant, it's not yours though

Knowing her it'd be mine the no good SLUT.

 

[nwgull]

'Why not go on that 5 day rugby tour to Spain? It'll do you good to get away with the lads'

these were the actual words spoken to me by my ex wife, which should really have set the alarm bells off to me about the fact that she was having an affair!

 

[Braders]

no I am real , not a figment of your imagination

 

[Durlston]

"Hey, it's cool that you change moods as quickly as your positions!"

 

[redneb]

Ha ha, a few years ago a mates wife agreed that he could buy a Porsche with the money they'd put by for a new kitchen. It was agreed that he could keep the car for 2 years, sell it and then pay for a new kitchen with the proceeds. He had the car 3 months before he blew up the engine. With repairs pretty much costing the value of the car they had to cover the repair cost on credit cards, sell the car and pay off the cards = no fancy car and no new kitchen..

Quality.

 

[redneb]

no I am real , not a figment of your imagination

Would you mind terribly if was to knock one out over your avatar?

 

[El Presidente]

Tonight I suggest we go Fanny, Tits, Face, Tits, Face, Arse

 

[El Presidente]

I don't feel like swallowing tonight, so how about I just snowball with my sister?

 

[ArfurW8]

I'm fed up working full time only to have my three unemployed parasite sons and parasite daughter who cant get off her fat lazy arse expecting me to cook,clean, and do their laundry, and them only visiting me when they either want these done or want to sponge money off of me, so tonight I am going to tell them to f**k off.

 

[cjd]

"yes, I am wrong"

 

[Meade's Ball]

Press that little nodule on the valve to deflate me, fold me carefully, and place me in that little drawer you have beneath your bed with the other ones like me. I know i am Tuesday and Thursday, and the giant one, Elisa i think you call her, with the enormous, punchable wabbadams is your general weekend morning fare, but don't forget that i love it when you inflate me once more having thought of a stupid idea and can't keep it in any more. I also appreciate a sunday when we're all regrown and re-enact parts of the Bible, you always King He-Rod, and us with spongey beards painted on our plastic chins. We whisper sometimes in the drawer out of your hearing of who might love you most and who'd like most to be one of the women of flesh you've followed and moulded us on. We're happy with what we are though, and happier still of all that you are.

 

[Hove Lagoonery]

why does that make me think you like to lick your sisters knickers?

Because you have an incest fixation?
Look at the thread title and the use of speech marks. It is clearly her sister she is referring to, not mine.

 

[Publius Ovidius]

I'm fed up working full time only to have my three unemployed parasite sons and parasite daughter who cant get off her fat lazy arse expecting me to cook,clean, and do their laundry, and them only visiting me when they either want these done or want to sponge money off of me, so tonight I am going to tell them to f**k off.

oh dear!