The secret diary of Dick Tight aged 12 1/2

[berkshire seagull]

Earnest you are a super genius and i thought that was fantastic in every department.

You deserve a bloody medal

 

[Kryten]

Today I am so depressed why does everyone hate me at school so much ? In fact I've only two friends in the entire school, Martin the Trainspotter and I really wish sometimes he'd take his anorak off as it is beginning to ming a bit and why does he tuck his shirt into his underpants ? How uncool is that ? And my other friend is Fat Norman, well he is not really my friend but he is richer than me and when I'm skint I can tap him up for a few bob to spend in the tuck shop.

Anyway I'm going to show them as I'm going to run the school football team and build them a new ground to play on and then everyone will like me and I'll be so popular. Mummy told me not to be stupid as it costs millions of pounds to build a football ground and she said how could I afford it on 10p pocket money a week ? She doesn't understand I'm only going to promise to build it and everytime someone asks me where the ground is I'll tell them that the deputy headmaster won't give me the playing fields to build a new stand.

The trouble is that beastly Ernest in Year 7 is going around telling everyone that I'm potless and a bullshitter and all the children are starting to believe him and they are now telling me that if I don't build the ground this year they are going to expel me.
I keep trying to frighten them by saying if you expel me then those two nasty bullies from Year 13 , One eyed Bill and Dirty Dave will come back to the school but they were expelled years ago and no one believes me anymore.

I'm so miserable now why won't all the boys believe me ? I fooled those two saps Ponsey Paul and Attila the Hen who run the school mag and they wrote loads of things saying I was the saviour of the school team and without me we wouldn't have a team but now everyone realises the truth about me.

Whatever can I do ?


Dick Tight aged 12 1/2

don't agree with you, but still funny

Good one

 

[Easy 10]

Good work Ernest.
Same old message as always, but at least the packaging was different.

 

[BRIGHT ON Q]

 

[Trigger]

Top quality posting...

Sings: "He is the leader of the ARS!"

 

[Kryten]

what does ars stand for?

 

[Seagulls over Lewes]

 

[Beach Hut]

what does ars stand for?

Albion Real Supporters

 

[Kryten]

Albion Real Supporters

cool, do you have to hate dick knight?

 

[berkshire seagull]

Yes you have to hate dick,so speed up and join our clan while you can.membership fee's are small so don't hold back get in .

 

[Kryten]

wait until 3 or 4 games into the season, whether we have made signings etc

 

[berkshire seagull]

O.k sorted and please contact my boss earnest about the small fee which will be spent wisely unlike bha.

regards

 

[Kryten]

O.k sorted and please contact my boss earnest about the small fee which will be spent wisely unlike bha.

regards

 

[Trigger]

I believe there is a free Dick Knight urinal cake as a gift for all new members that join before the first match...

 

[Kryten]

I believe there is a free Dick Knight urinal cake as a gift for all new members that join before the first match...

please don't tempt me..........




































go on then

 

[berkshire seagull]

Due to the massive exspansion of our new fan club we have sold out of nearly 22,000 we hate dick tight t-shirts,we are also planning to buy bha football club in the very near future and have matched dicks £1 offer and the deal is exspected to be finalised within a few months.

You can find out more here at:

www.thebeardedtightarse.com:clap: