the new UMBRO - oh how did we possibly LOSE ?

[Easy 10]

Get this. The "official spiel" from Umbro re their new GROUNDBREAKING England shirt. And I quote:

"The new England home shirt uses UMBRO's new Climate Control Technology, incorporating a unique fabric called 'Trilogy'; a 3 stage thermodynamic performance material. The special fabric controls the microclimate between the skin and the shirt, helping to regulate the body's temperature."

Sadly, it would seem most England players still perform like utter ****s in this high-tech super-modern shirt, but at least they look NICE for the photoshoots.
It goes on:

"Alongside the kit there is a new England match ball which is made from a high elasticity super latex, (I shit you not) making it one of the most durable balls ever developed".

Which, I must say, looked particularly fetching as it flew past Ben Foster into the top left-hand corner of Englands goal. High elasticity super-latex has rarely looked so impressive, as I'm sure most of Old Trafford would agree.
Finally:

"To finish the England look, John Terry's new UMBRO X Boot Destroyer has wishbone technology under the sole and lightweight carbon fibre heel counter to ensure vulnerable areas of the foot are kept safe."

Shame none of the ubercunts at Umbro chose to design this "wishbone technology" SUPERBOOT in the run-up to last years World Cup so we could have had a fit Rooney and Owen, but hey, I guess boot technology moves that fast nowadays eh. The last WISHBONE I saw came out of the carcass of a dead turkey, which seems strangely apt.

Umbro and England. Utter tosspots united. f*** off back to polishing your Porsches boys, we already know the lot of you are a bunch of embarrassing f***ing SPACKS who are not worthy to design, make or wear the shirt of England. £35 ? Poke it up your arse.

 

[Withdean Wanderer]

 

[Wozza]

Word.

 

[Sav]

Umbro's rubbish tbh... England might aswell have Errea!

 

[Withdean Wanderer]

How about a boycott of buying the England shirt until the CLOWN has been removed from his post?

 

[Leekbrookgull]

Thought. Dyer played like his name sugests !!!!

 

[Easy 10]

Well I for one feel FIFA should be closely reveiwing Englands new kit. I mean, from what UMBRO are saying, we now have a clear and unfair advantage with all this Climate Control Technology and Super Spastic footballs we are now using. OK this was only a friendly, but Spain could have come here and raped us 3 or 4 nil had we just had a bog-standard kit and ball, which surely means future results in qualifiers could be unfairly influenced by UMBRO's scientific genius.

Sure, I want England to qualify for the Euro's. But it has to be FAIR.

 

[Wilka]

 

[Rangdo]

Sure, I want England to qualify for the Euro's. But it has to be FAIR.

God we are sooooooooo f***ed.

 

[Pavilionaire]

I think we should paper over the holes in the ozone layer with new England shirts. The new Climate Control Technology with wishbone should sort that global warming problem in no time.

Greenhouse effect? My arse!

 

[Djmiles]

Umbro's rubbish tbh... England might aswell have diarrh"Errea"!

Would have been a good excuse for not playing I spose

Poor attempt I know