Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Through a combination of bad luck, boredom, and the fact that I am out on a bender tomorrow night, I slumped in front of The Brits this evening, in a vain attempt to inject some entertainment into my evening. It was, however, dire.
50 Cents. What is it with these american rappers ? Why do they absolutely insist on trying to portray themselves as "gangstas" on the wrong side of the law all the bloody time. If they've not ever actually been arrested for doing drugs, carrying illegal firearms, GBH, grand theft auto, etc etc, then they have to go and make up a little act to come across as the "bad boys". So we got a laughable scene in an interview room where "yo 50" defies some camp, trumped-up supposed authority figure, breaks out of the room and "escapes" onto the Brits stage to perform a mind-numbing rap single that I'd instantly forgotton long before the adverts. Piss. Poor.
Simon Fox steps up to present an award, and in a futile attempt to get a big cheer out of the audience, cringingly comes out with: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've been watching it back there, and I've got to tell you....this is, without doubt, the best Brits Awards ever !. He might as well have said "Ladies and gentlemen, I've just finished a pot noodle and had my assistant iron...this....SHIRT !" for all the reaction he got. If this was the best ever, then thank f*** I seem to have missed the last few.
Duran Duran took some "Contribution to Music" award, or something equally meaningless. Now I quite like Duran Duran, they've done some decent stuff over the years, for its time. I thought they milked this award a bit though, considering it was basically pointless and mildly patronising. Lets face it, they're touring again in April apparently, so this is clearly a nice little trinket of publicity to remind everyone they're still alive, before they set off. They ran through a few old favourites, but their guitarist (Nick Rhodes ?)was either pissed, stoned, or of questionable / diminishing talent. He hit so many duff notes during his big solo riffs during "Ordinairy World", it was bloody embarrassing. He needs to brush up for their tour, or get the tapes out.
And talking of tapes...The Darkness. As the latest 5-minute wonder being plastered all over the place by a stagnant music industry, they predictably swept all awards before them. But while everyone else performed Live, their rendition of "Thing Called Love" was so clearly, CLEARLY the studio release version which they mimed to. Duran Duran f***ed it up a bit by playing live, but at Least they had a go. Utterly shameful of The Darkness to have disconnected guitars and 90% mimed vocals. Garbage, utter garbage, and a complete exposure to their excruciating lack of talent. If you can't play Live boys - just don't bother at all, eh ?
Miss Tique, Gwen Stefani and Alicia Keyes utterly murdered "Kiss" by Price, even altering the lyrics to "you don't have to be rich to be my BOY, you don't have to be cool to bring me JOY" (GAAAAH, please, just leave the classics to the real maestros). Even Beyonce's thighs didn't look as slender and delicious as normal, perhaps the camera angles were unkind. They put her on straight after some goons in SKELETON costumes...I kid you not.
The one bright spot of the evening (apart from the end credits)was also, for me, the biggest surprise. I thought Busted's Live rendition of "Teenage Kicks" was bloody excellent - those lads seem to be able to play, and the vocals stood up to being shouted (as you have to with that track really). Other than that though, the whole thing was a glossy, pretencious load of old crap. I'm definately going out next year.
50 Cents. What is it with these american rappers ? Why do they absolutely insist on trying to portray themselves as "gangstas" on the wrong side of the law all the bloody time. If they've not ever actually been arrested for doing drugs, carrying illegal firearms, GBH, grand theft auto, etc etc, then they have to go and make up a little act to come across as the "bad boys". So we got a laughable scene in an interview room where "yo 50" defies some camp, trumped-up supposed authority figure, breaks out of the room and "escapes" onto the Brits stage to perform a mind-numbing rap single that I'd instantly forgotton long before the adverts. Piss. Poor.
Simon Fox steps up to present an award, and in a futile attempt to get a big cheer out of the audience, cringingly comes out with: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've been watching it back there, and I've got to tell you....this is, without doubt, the best Brits Awards ever !. He might as well have said "Ladies and gentlemen, I've just finished a pot noodle and had my assistant iron...this....SHIRT !" for all the reaction he got. If this was the best ever, then thank f*** I seem to have missed the last few.
Duran Duran took some "Contribution to Music" award, or something equally meaningless. Now I quite like Duran Duran, they've done some decent stuff over the years, for its time. I thought they milked this award a bit though, considering it was basically pointless and mildly patronising. Lets face it, they're touring again in April apparently, so this is clearly a nice little trinket of publicity to remind everyone they're still alive, before they set off. They ran through a few old favourites, but their guitarist (Nick Rhodes ?)was either pissed, stoned, or of questionable / diminishing talent. He hit so many duff notes during his big solo riffs during "Ordinairy World", it was bloody embarrassing. He needs to brush up for their tour, or get the tapes out.
And talking of tapes...The Darkness. As the latest 5-minute wonder being plastered all over the place by a stagnant music industry, they predictably swept all awards before them. But while everyone else performed Live, their rendition of "Thing Called Love" was so clearly, CLEARLY the studio release version which they mimed to. Duran Duran f***ed it up a bit by playing live, but at Least they had a go. Utterly shameful of The Darkness to have disconnected guitars and 90% mimed vocals. Garbage, utter garbage, and a complete exposure to their excruciating lack of talent. If you can't play Live boys - just don't bother at all, eh ?
Miss Tique, Gwen Stefani and Alicia Keyes utterly murdered "Kiss" by Price, even altering the lyrics to "you don't have to be rich to be my BOY, you don't have to be cool to bring me JOY" (GAAAAH, please, just leave the classics to the real maestros). Even Beyonce's thighs didn't look as slender and delicious as normal, perhaps the camera angles were unkind. They put her on straight after some goons in SKELETON costumes...I kid you not.
The one bright spot of the evening (apart from the end credits)was also, for me, the biggest surprise. I thought Busted's Live rendition of "Teenage Kicks" was bloody excellent - those lads seem to be able to play, and the vocals stood up to being shouted (as you have to with that track really). Other than that though, the whole thing was a glossy, pretencious load of old crap. I'm definately going out next year.
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