Tabloid headlines - best ever/never

[Tubby Mondays]

I was working up in Scotchland a couple of years ago and the headline on the local paper was 'Traffic Lights To Change'.

Bit of a bombshell that one.

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

Oh -- and the one about the explorer Sir Vivian Fuchs.

It was Sir Vivian Fuchs Off To The Arctic

 

[Les Biehn]

I was working up in Scotchland a couple of years ago and the headline on the local paper was 'Traffic Lights To Change'.

Bit of a bombshell that one.

Who is that in your Avatar. Looks like Den Perry from Phoenix nights.

 

[Normal Rob]

Oh -- and the one about the explorer Sir Vivian Fuchs.

It was Sir Vivian Fuchs Off To The Arctic

brilliant!!!

anybody got any headlines that never occurred? (a bit trickier)

 

[Tubby Mondays]

Who is that in your Avatar. Looks like Den Perry from Phoenix nights.

Shame on you if you dont know who that is!

 

[Les Biehn]

Shame on you if you dont know who that is!

Who is it then?

 

[Tubby Mondays]

Who is it then?

Lord Canning aka Fatty Taxman aka Fatty Tax Cardinal aka world famous Brighton legend.

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Two spring to mind.

The Sun - Bad korea move. Thought that was rather good..

Also during the mad cow scare when it was proposed that we may have to slaughter loads of cattle... "Its mass mooder"

 

[Meade's Ball]

I can't remember the specific words of it, but i know the NOTW put something along the lines of Barrymore Pal Found Dead Face Down In Pants.

If i were going to druggie drown in his undies i'd make sure i snorkeled my mouth with more than just the tube he offered me.

 

[Pavilionaire]

My personal favourite is the Sun headline following the identification of a bloke who'd inserted a spying device in the Labour Party HQ:

THIS IS THE BUGGER.

 

[pasty]

Believe it was The Sun that when Jos Verstappens Benetton F1 car went up in flames during a pit stop came up with

"The Ignited Colours of Benetton"

 

[Gully]

Sticking with the Falklands theme, as we approach the 25th anniversary of the Conflict, the Sun had the headline "In We Go", not once, not twice but three times...couldn't they make their flaming minds up?

 

[See-Goals]

The mirror 4 years ago ran the story about the butcher in coronnation street who got knifed by a rentboy.

"I've been stabbed I SAID I've been stabbed".

 

[Commander]

Who is that in your Avatar. Looks like Den Perry from Phoenix nights.

 

[Man of Harveys]

The mirror 4 years ago ran the story about the butcher in coronnation street who got knifed by a rentboy.

"I've been stabbed I SAID I've been stabbed".

That was quite a funny stabbing, if there is such a thing. The fruity old slice of ham was so much more concerned about attracting attention to the fact that he was in Manchester's gay village than he was about his wounds.

 

[chip]

Small earthquake in Chile not many dead

or

Universe Older Than Previously Believed

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

That was quite a funny stabbing, if there is such a thing. The fruity old slice of ham was so much more concerned about attracting attention to the fact that he was in Manchester's gay village than he was about his wounds.

I had to stand outside his flat in the rain waiting for him to come home. He just barged past, strangely refusing my interview request... !

 

[ATFC Seagull]

"You've Lost That Living Feeling" when one of the Righteous Brothers died, think it was the Sun.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Following a match at Selhurst Park, where Gerry Queen was sent off, the Guardian ran a headline that appealed to its republican-leaning readers ...

QUEEN IN BRAWL AT PALACE

 

[crasher]

Another classic was in the New York Daily Post after amurder on the seamy side of town

Headless Body Found in Topless Bar

also the supposed local paper headline after the Titanic sank

Huddersfield man in sea drama

and finally the probably apocryphal local paper headline about the old lady released from hospital in the early hours

Family disgusted by grandmother's early morning discharge