Tabloid headlines - best ever/never

[Normal Rob]

so what has been the best tabloid headline you've ever read. You have to go a long way to beat the famous

'supercallygoballisticcelticareatrocious'

one of a few years back but does it have any rivals (sporting or otherwise).

Also what is the glaring opportunity that you feel was missed by the tabloids. Personally i was amazed that following Jason Queallys gold medal in the cycling at the olympics we did not see the headline

'Queally wheely good'


So what are your best ever/never tabloid headlines?

 

[Bry Nylon]

The Sun had a good one last week, after the nuclear test.

"What to do about a problem called Korea?" ...or something like that.

 

[Captain Pugwash]

'supercallygoballisticcelticareatrocious'

is the best ever you can not beat that

 

[Les Biehn]

Shoots you sir.

 

[The Large One]

'supercallygoballisticcelticareatrocious'

is the best ever you can not beat that

I've said this before. I used to work with a football hack who saw the headline, rolled his eyes to the ceiling and said 'that's an old one'. He was gob-smacked when the headline writer won some kind of annual award for it. The same thing had been done in the mid-1970s, when Liverpool beat QPR, and Ian Callagham ran amok.

'Super Cally Goes Ballistic QPR Atrocious'

 

[Captain Pugwash]

you learn somethign new everyday

 

[JJ McClure]

The Sun had a good one last week, after the nuclear test.

"What to do about a problem called Korea?" ...or something like that.

With a picture of the Kim Jong Ill puppet from team America. Quailty front page I thought

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

My two favourites EVER were:

1) In the Guardian, above a story about a funding crisis in the publiclibraries of Essex. The headline was BOOK LACK IN ONGAR

2) In Viz, above a story about a Freddie Mercury impersonator suspected of killing a TV newsreader: SCARAMOUCHE SCARAMOUCHE DID HE KILL THE JILL DANDO?

 

[Hannibal smith]

I always liked the one associated with Formula 1 driver Pedro Diniz a few years back. His car caught fire during the race which spawned the headline of 'Diniz in the Oven'

 

[Commander]

Think it was in the Star a few years ago- extract from Prince Andrew's book about the Falklands, and something about the penguins being attracted to the helicopter he flew- headline was 'Andrew- Why the Birds love my chopper'.

 

[Wozza]

"Down and out" - split Sun front cover when Tyson had been beaten and Mandela released. Not funny - just great.

Also, "Bloody hell", Sun Sport when Mike Gatting got his nose broken (in the 80s, I think).

The language was quite shocking at the time - which is why they did it, obviously.

 

[clapham_gull]

I liked the REAL Sun headline, when a policeman who had a sex change was retained by the police force and given a desk job.

NO NOBBY BOBBY KEEPS JOBBY

 

[fatboy]

2) In Viz, above a story about a Freddie Mercury impersonator suspected of killing a TV newsreader: SCARAMOUCHE SCARAMOUCHE DID HE KILL THE JILL DANDO?

 

[Man of Harveys]

The best headline EVER was in Variety (and possibly apocryphal), when pre-release screenings of western star Tom Mix's latest films in rural America showed them to be so bad that the pictures weren't released. The story ran under "HIX NIX MIX PIX"...

 

[Lammy]

The Sun.

"Did Dodi do Di?"

 

[Marshy]

Paddy Pantsdown was a particular favorite of mine when he was caught cheating.

 

[withdeanwombat]

My favourite was also in the Sun,I think:


UP YOURS DELORS,


but how about the Argus with its famous


SHELL FOUND ON BEACH.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Not really a Tabloid headline, but I heard this weekend that Simon Jordan wrote an article in Saturdays Palace programme headlined:

"The Futures Bright - The Chairmans Orange"

At least he can laugh at himself.

 

[Withdean Wanderer]

Think it was

'How do you solve a problem like Korea?', but that actually was a very good front page.


Not really a tabloid, but i enjoyed 'Maradona for the Albion'!

 

[Lammy]

How about Private Eye during the Falklands war;

"KILL AN ARGI,
WIN A METRO!"