Stories of your travels, Have you got any interesting tales?

[Terrace Dandy]

I do love reading peoples adventures. Has anyone been on any adventures, Not just the tourist stuff but independent traveller, I love reading peoples adventures. It doesn't matter how trivial it might seem, Every story is a good read, so if you've got one then please post it here so I can read it.

 

[Dover]

And what prey tell are you researching?

 

[Terrace Dandy]

And what prey tell are you researching?

I know I've had a dew drinks but I'm not that drunk to say what the hell is that suppose to mean

 

[The Clown of Pevensey Bay]

Four years ago I was travelling across Australia by train, from Perth to Sydney. But there was a derailment somewhere in the middle of the desert. So we had to wait for four hours in the dark at Kalgoorlie while we waited for some coaches. To take us to Adelaide -- a journey that lasted about 36 hours.

We travelled on the only road... the Great Southern Highway. In terms of wilderness it was quite astounding. At one point I spotted my best-ever bit of roadkill... a dead camel.

Sat next to a very nice young lady called Petra for the duration of the journey. I resisted the temptation to ask her if she'd been mounted in the Blue Peter garden.

 

[shingle]

I once gave an Indian waiter my tooth as a tip.

Prior to a trip to India several years back I had a crown fitted, but it came out when I was in Bombay. One day I ordered tea in my room , and I saw the waiter out of the window coming towards the room with a tray. In one hand is his 5 rupee tip, and in the other is the said tooth which has just come out. as he put the tray down I flapped and as he held out his hand i gave him the tooth by mistake. After an awkward silence with us both looking in shock at his outstretched hand i quickly took away the tooth and substituted it with the 5 rupees.

 

[Deleted User X18H]

No

 

[rool]

I was camping in the Lake Maggiore area (spel) in 1983 in early september. I think the town was called Cannobio or something similar. We had a walk through the local town and there was a river which had no more than a trickle of water. That evening we went out for a pizza and sat there, al fresco, watching a thunder storm develop. Well a few red wines later we staggered back to the tent whilst a good wind was developing. By about 3 am the guy ropes were really tugging and we were in a full blown storm. The lake had risen by about 30 feet and had encroached into the camp site and a couple of trees had fallen within the site. most of us took shelter in the toilet blocks. By about 4am it had all finished . We all stood by the new lake edge and look at the lights that were on from an Island in the middle of the lake and then went to bed. In the morning we woke up to a disaster area. We learned from the news that four people had died on a nearby site when their mobile homes had been swept away as a result of the river, that had been a trickle the day before, burst it's banks.
That day we were due to go to Austria and set off only to be turned back later by a landslide. the only detour we could take was by one of those little car ferries and then via a montain road into Austria. I think it was the Splungen Pass. It was one of the scariest drives I have ever been on, climbing up a mountain on a road just about wide enough for a car with a sheer drop to the side. I was just a passenger and was all sweaty so I don't know about the driver. Looking back it was very beautiful up there and there seemed to be a few abandoned little villages where the only residents were mountain goats.
Eventually we got to the Austrian border to be confronted by two fat, bearded frontier guards pointing their machine guns at us demanding 'whiskey, whiskey'. After proving that all we had was a few bottles of spumante (Well I was only 19) they let us proceed. Well we never made our destination that night, as by then the drivers were shattered and instead stayed at a lovely Gusthaus and moved on the next day to have a pretty uneventful holiday from that point on.

That's as exciting as it has got in my life. I am sure most have more interesting tales to tell.

 

[Terrace Dandy]

I was camping in the Lake Maggiore area (spel) in 1983 in early september. I think the town was called Cannobio or something similar. We had a walk through the local town and there was a river which had no more than a trickle of water. That evening we went out for a pizza and sat there, al fresco, watching a thunder storm develop. Well a few red wines later we staggered back to the tent whilst a good wind was developing. By about 3 am the guy ropes were really tugging and we were in a full blown storm. The lake had risen by about 30 feet and had encroached into the camp site and a couple of trees had fallen within the site. most of us took shelter in the toilet blocks. By about 4am it had all finished . We all stood by the new lake edge and look at the lights that were on from an Island in the middle of the lake and then went to bed. In the morning we woke up to a disaster area. We learned from the news that four people had died on a nearby site when their mobile homes had been swept away as a result of the river, that had been a trickle the day before, burst it's banks.
That day we were due to go to Austria and set off only to be turned back later by a landslide. the only detour we could take was by one of those little car ferries and then via a montain road into Austria. I think it was the Splungen Pass. It was one of the scariest drives I have ever been on, climbing up a mountain on a road just about wide enough for a car with a sheer drop to the side. I was just a passenger and was all sweaty so I don't know about the driver. Looking back it was very beautiful up there and there seemed to be a few abandoned little villages where the only residents were mountain goats.
Eventually we got to the Austrian border to be confronted by two fat, bearded frontier guards pointing their machine guns at us demanding 'whiskey, whiskey'. After proving that all we had was a few bottles of spumante (Well I was only 19) they let us proceed. Well we never made our destination that night, as by then the drivers were shattered and instead stayed at a lovely Gusthaus and moved on the next day to have a pretty uneventful holiday from that point on.

That's as exciting as it has got in my life. I am sure most have more interesting tales to tell.

Nice one, I do love peoples adventures. It doesn't matter if people have better tales to tell, Every story is a good read.

I've posted my little story of Cambodia, I know some have read it but thought I'd put it up for the people who haven't read it.

Thailand, Bangkok Airport. (Don Mange)

Came out the Airport and decided to head east towards Cambodia, I didn't fancy staying on Khao san road after what happened to me last year. And plus by heading east first would break up the journey.

Tried to find a bus but to no avail as busses stop running at midday to where I was heading, I was going to stay in pattaya (Sex capital of Thailand) for a couple of days and book some transport to cambodia from there.

The only option i had was a taxi, so got the tourist people to sort one out for me as you'll not get stitched up that way. Got a taxi and it cost 1,800 baht (£24).

Arrived in Pattaya two hours later and got dropped of on the seafront (Thanon hat Pattaya) and headed to the nearest bar and got a beer. I knew where i was going to stay so thought I'd just relax for an hour before I check in.

Headed to the Pattaya palladium hotel which is situated along Thanon Pattaya 2 road and my apartment cost 1,000 baht a night. 1,000 baht is a bargain. My room was on the 9th floor and had en-suit bathroom, 2 double beds, television, phone and a balcony with panoramic views over Pattaya bay.

Had a wash and put all my valuables in the safety deposit box which is situated at the receptionist, And then headed out into the sleazy city.

Walked out the hotel and walked straight into the lady boys cabaret, This place has 20 Go-Go bars and in the centre is a stage where lady boys perform, I saw a performance by them last time I was in Pattaya, not of my own choice but had to after getting arrested in Bangkok and Pattaya was the only destination where i could get money sent out, anyway enough of the past.

These 20 bars had i would say about 200 girls working and only about 30 farangs drinking, I walked past one and they started shouting and pulling me, Got really pissed off with it and hailed a taxi and made my escape.

Sitting in the back of the taxi and I soon smelt that vile, disgusting, nauseating stench of raw sewage, I felt bad and insulting when i put my hand over my mouth to try and block the smell but if I hadn't then i would of vomited everywhere, That's how bad it is in Pattaya.

After 5 minutes I got out and paid my 10 baht and crossed the road and looked down and saw raw sewage floating pass next to the pavement, None of you will understand what the smell was like but it makes me reach when just thinking about it.

Got of Thanon Pattaya 2 road and headed down a side street Soi 9 and to my drinking den, arrived and sat in the same place as last time and got myself a beer and watched some football. That's the good thing about Thailand, It doesn't matter what part of the country your in, there is always live english football on.

Had about 10 beers and was deciding how to get to Cambodia, I could of flown too Siem Reap but that would of defeated the object. I've been told by fellow backpackers that the road travel is something you have to see to believe. So i thought about Train or Bus? I decided against the train as I've heard your liable to get mugged and that's one thing I wanted to avoid at all cost because they carry guns and if you refuse to hand over your valuables then they'll shoot you without hesitation. So opted for the safe route which is mini bus then bus from the Cambodia border. Left the bar and found myself a travel agent and booked my ticket which cost 1,600 baht from Pattaya to Siem Reap (Cambodia) which would leave the next day at 9am.

Got back to my hotel and packed my rucksack as I couldn't be bothered to do the next morning. Got up and checked out and headed to the pick up point. The mini bus didn't arrive till 10am which I wasn't happy about but late is better than never. The mini bus was a 12 seated and only had 4 other people on board and they was only doing the visa run so looked like I'd be travelling down through Cambodia on my own. Didn't really mind as if I had to travel with the other people in the mini bus then I think I'd have a nervous breakdown as they was talking some nonsense.

After about an hour this chap who is an editor for a Farang magazine said something about where i was heading to and I replied Cambodia, he then went into what to expect when crossing the Thai-Cambodia border, I don't think these people realise that backpackers do read up on countries that we're visiting and build a mental picture up of what to expect, etc.

I got the wrong impression of him at first but he turned out to be a really nice person. As we was chatting we came to a police road block and they was checking all vehicles, I should of said just ours because I hadn't seen another vehicle for ages. Our driver got out and spoke to an officer and the other two was looking at us. You wont believe this but the driver had to pay the police off to enable us to carry on with our journey. As soon as we were pulled over to one side I knew a bribe would be on the agenda, Everything in Thailand resolves in backhands.

After the corrupt police got what they wanted we was on our way again and we finally stopped at a place called Aranya Prathet which is a small village where you get your Cambodia visas sorted out before you get to Poipet which is the Thai-Cambodia border. I handed over my passport and $20 to our driver and he went of to get my visa. We just sat around eating and drinking. It was a lovely little place, You wouldn't have thought that Thailand was a third world country, The main road was better than the roads at home, The coconut trees and palm trees that lined the main highway made me feel that I was in the states not Thailand.

Our driver arrived back and handed me my passport, My visa had taken a whole page just like the Thailand visa which i quite liked as I was becoming something of a stamp collector now. My driver asked if I wanted to change any money up because you'll not get time when you reach Poipet because it's heads down and just keep moving as fast as possible. When he said that I just sat there kept thinking what to expect when I cross the border, Will it live up to the mental picture that I've built up. I've heard a few horror stories about the border crossing and thought I'd be ready for anything that awaits me.

We boarded the mini bus for the last time and would be in Poipet within an hour, The atmosphere changed from being humours and laughter to sort of morbid, These lot have experienced this hundreds of times as they do the visa run once a month, Me, We'll I'm just about to find out what the meaning of what sad, depressing, poverty, really means.

As we pulled into Poipet which is the Thai-Cambodia border I was told to put my valuables into my rucksack and keep my wallet in my front pocket, Don't talk to children and just follow the person who'll meet you of the mini bus. We came to a halt and we all got off, It was bedlam. There was thousands of people, trading everything you could imagine and we was met by at least 50 children, Most of them just wearing t-shirts, They swamped us like we were movie stars. I couldn't move, They was pulling me left to right, Pleading for money, They were crying. Shit, It was bad but nothing compared to what the Cambodia side is like.

I finally got my rucksack out of the mini bus and was met by a Cambodian lad who said he'd take care of me and showed me his official document. He said follow me and stay close, He asked me not to give any money to the Cambodian children on the other side of the border because If i did then it'll make things a hundred times worse for everyone. I could understand what he's saying. You give any one money and the word will spread like wild fire and the next week more children would turn up seeking money from tourists.

As we walked I noticed a young girl next to me, She was about 8 years old, She was wearing a t-shirt, holes in her jeans and no shoes and she had an arm missing and was holding an umbrella which she was trying to hold above my head to keep the sun of me, It was a pointless exercise really considering I'm 5'11 and she was about 4ft9 and the umbrella came to about my eyes, full respect to her for trying. I just smiled at her and kept moving. As we went into the Thai customs I could see dust on the cambodia side and nothing else. as i disappeared inside, The little girl was just standing there. I felt really sorry for her but couldn't do nothing to help.

As the Thai officials stamped my passport I was happy to be in there and not outside, It was full on out there and to be honest it wasn't nothing i thought it would be like. It was worse. After the Thai official finished processing me he then pointed to the exit door which would bring me out into Cambodia.

As I opened the door and walked out into Cambodia it hit me for six. I knew it would be bad but not this bad, It felt like I'd just been sent back in time and it looked like a civil war was taken place. It's so hard to explain what it's like but you really have to see it to believe it. My Cambodian friend appeared and so did that Cambodian girl with that umbrella. As we walked I didn't know where to look. The Cambodia customs was about 100 yards on the right. we kept to the left and as i was walking I couldn't help but look at all the people lying around, There were people from all ages, Some had arms missing, some had legs, some had eyes, I went pass one boy/girl and it had every limb missing. It had just a head and a body slumped on a box.

There wasn't a road, it was just dust. There wasn't a tree in sight, the buildings looked like it had just been bombed, People crying out for help and I couldn't do sod all to help them. They say Thailand is a third world country, Well I'll tell you this, Thailand is like the UK or the USA or any other western country compared to Cambodia.

As we were walking we passed under the arch that reads ''Welcome to Cambodia'' but I think that should be renamed welcome to hell. Because that is what these people are living.

Got to the Cambodia passport control and was about to enter then stopped and looked down on this girl. Now I know I wasn't meant to give anyone money but full credit to this girl, She had followed me from the Thai side and waited for me on the Cambodia side and tried so hard to impress me that I decided to make her day or even week or even a month. I got my wallet out and gave her $5 dollars. It might not seem a lot but to her that will be enough to buy fresh drinking water and food for a week or so for her and the family. She just smiled and bowed. Then she was gone. Probably raced back to see if she could find another generous person as she must be thinking it's her lucky day. At least I made someone's day.

The officials stamped my my passport and I was through, we walked to this tiny shop where there was other backpackers. Put my bag down and got a drink and had a cigarette, I had given up but after I just witnessed all that I needed one so bought a pack. So much for will power.

We was told that we would be leaving in half an hour and that half an hour turned into one then 2 hours, by now we all was restless and just wanted to get going. Everyone didn't say much while we waited, Probably due to witnessing the scenes when crossing the border.

2 hours and 20 minutes and the bus turns up, I just laughed when I saw it. This bus had half the windows missing, The wheels were like tractor wheels and the bus was the most peculiar looking thing I've ever seen in my entire life. some of us asked if the so called bus would make it to Siem Reap? He just laughed.

In our group was me the only Englishman, 3 dutch, 1 New Zealander, 3 Australians, 2 Swedish, 2 danes and one German. We didn't say much till the super bus got going. I sat at the back and this New Zealander sat in front, he wasn't happy because his chair was broken. he had to sit up right because if he sat back then he would of been laying on my lap, so to help this poor chap out I raised my knees to support the back of his chair which would enable him to have a comfortable journey. And a comfortable journey it wouldn't be for any of us but the reverse effect.

Now I must try and explain what this journey is like, The road from Poipet to Siem Reap is probably one of the worst in the world. The road is just dust and full of pot holes, not just any pot holes, These pot holes are a foot deep and not just every few miles but every 5 inches, The only way I can describe how it feels is just imagine going over the sleeping policeman on british roads, But not ever 20 yards but every inch. You are constantly being thrown around like a rag doll and the dust from on coming traffic fills the super bus with yellow dust, you need to wear scarfs all the time. Now try putting up with this for 9 hours.

You are lucky in that the super bus stops of twice to allow you a drink, and a drink is what you will need, Problem with this is that you are greeted with people trying to sell you stuff and believe you me they don't take no for an answer. I found the easiest way out of it or what I thought would be the easiest way out is to buy a drink, How wrong was I, I brought two cans of beer and then had the whole tribe on my case. Couldn't get rid of them, They even followed me onto the bus and after they got off they wouldn't allow it to move unless I brought beer from the rest, I know I'm generous but enough is enough,

We finally got going again and trying to drink that beer was an impossible task, Everytime I tried to take a sip we hit a pot hole and most of the can ended up over my face, in the end I had to ditch it to everyone's amusement.

At last, We finally arrive in Siem Reap. We all got off the super bus and got taken to guesthouse 9, They don't have names but numbers. On arriving I was shown my room if I wanted to stay, It was about 10.30 in the evening so everyone stayed because it was to late to hunt around for bargain places. I wasn't fussed as it would only cost 4$ a night and couldn't see anyone finding anything cheaper. I unpacked and was on a mission again. Me, well, I'm a lively person and wanted to check out Siem Reap.

No one was interested in going out apart from me, so the owners of the guesthouse said they would take me to their local club, So me and sunrise (That's his name, He's called sunrise because of the sunrise at Angkor Wat) hit his local club, Now I've been to many clubs across the world but this was very different. We entered the club and took our seats at a table, Its no smoking here and when i lit up sunrise said you'd have to go outside, Fair enough I thought, I respect anyone's wishes. Went outside and the landlord came out and said he'd make an exception for me. So allowed me back in and gave me a bottle of wine on the house. Very nice man, it's probably due to the amount of money I was spending which changed his mind.

Now I've seen some strange things but not quite like this, for 10 minutes they play house music and everyone goes berserk then it stops and then it's karaoke for 15 minutes. My table was packed as everyone wanted to know things about my country. I had a great time in there and met some wonderful people. We left about 2 in the morning and sunrise wanted a lady, so we stopped of at a massage parlour, When we arrived the place was packed, all Cambodians. When the females saw me they fell over themselves to get to me, when Sunrise told them it was him who was visiting they told him to go away, He only went for some banter as we had to pass on our way home. We finally got to the guesthouse at 3am and to bed.

5am and a knock at my door, It was sunrise asking me to join everyone at Angkor Wat for the Sunrise, I passed on the invitation and told him to wake me at midday. 1pm and I got up, Sunrise had to take me to Angkor Wot to get my pass for the temples. I got a 2 day pass which cost $10 dollars.

Got back to the guesthouse at 3pm and had dinner and just chatting to the others who was on the super bus. Got friendly with one of the dutch and the New Zealander. Both male and seemed ok, we decided after seeing sunset at Angkor we would check out Siem Reap.

Sunrise and me headed to Angkor Wat and parked our scooter next to the ruins and I made my way with about a hundred others to the top of this hill, Climbing up was a mission on it's own. When you reached the top the views was breathtaking, You could see the horizon in all direction's, The sunset was amazing. When the sun got lower and lower it produced so many different colours in the sky that I've never seen before. Climb back down to my waiting chauffeur and back to the guesthouse.

After my feast the Zealander and dutch lad appeared at the same time and asked if I was ready to check this town/city out, To right I was. We must of walked 4 miles without seeing a pub, We walked passed a hooker joint but wasn't interested. We then hailed a taxi down and we jumped in, I liked the taxi's, It's a motorbike with a open carriage on the back which was good as you could take in all the views as you went along, we asked the driver to take us to a good pub, we ended up in some place and brought some food and a few drinks. I wasn't to pleased as they was a bit square for my liking.

I wanted to meet other backpackers but it was getting late so they decided to go back to the guesthouse, I joined them and just had some beers and spoke with the owners and had a laugh, Then these two, The New Zealander and dutch lad said they were retiring for the night, I said night and they left. But what I saw convinced me that they were either gay or was on a budget because they slept in the same room. The room only had one bed and it's a double. I'll let you come to what conclusion you like about that little matter.

Next day got up and headed to Angkor Wat, Sunrise dropped me off and I headed into the main temple. If any of you have the chance then you should visited Angkor Wat, It is truly one of the wonders of the world. Absolutely stunning.

A history lesson, Angkor Wot, the largest monument of the Angkor Wot group and one of the most intact, is an architecural masterpiece. Its perfection in composition, balance, proportions, reliefs and sculpture make it one of the finest monuments in the world. This temple is an expression of Khmer art at its highest point of development.

The temples at Angkor were built between the 9th and 14th centuries and I'll not say anything elase on this matter Other wise you be reading this e-mail till the cows come home.

I spent a good 3 hours in the main temple because the sculpture is truly amazing, I visited another 2 and headed back to my guesthouse. I seen the main one and that was good enough for me.

Just to let you know, Angkor Wat and it's temples is in an area or 24 square miles and has a total of 400 temples. So if you wanted to visit them all then you'll need a 5 day pass and you still wouldn't get to see it all. Sod that. 90% of the temples are nothing apart from rubble, But you still get a couple who will visit every single one like the New Zealander and the dutch lad.

Back at the guesthouse got changed and was out again, Went for a walk and did I walk, I walked all over Siam, Went to the day market and met some girl from the states, had a good chat and then found myself a nice delightful restaurant, had a good feast and headed back to my guesthouse but I was so far away I decided to get a taxi. I do love those taxis. Sitting in the back and seeing what's going on. As we was approaching my place I realised I was lost, couldn't remember which side of the river i was staying on. I kept saying Number 9, Number 9!! He then realised where I was staying.

On my way to the guesthouse I had about 7 children chasing me, I had some loose Riel on me so decided to throw it at them, Going along I must of thrown 6,000 Riel at them, Ok it's probably only a £1 to us but to them it's more than you'll ever know, They picked up the money and waved. Another good deed done for the day.

That evening me and the New Zealander and the dutch lad hit the town, We got a taxi and to be honest these two didn't have a clue where they wanted to go so I took control and said to the driver I wanted a pub with backpackers!! He smiled and said he knew just the place, Great, take us there please so he did. We ended up at a public house called the Angkor Wat Bar. It was everything I wanted, Full of other backpackers. The place was covered in graffiti, It had Aston Villa hardcore and every different nationality you could think of written over the walls, ceilings.

We sat down and ordered our drinks, I ordered a steak too. As we was sitting, I noticed a few Aston Villa fans, They was there to watch their game against Birmingham. Had a chat and a laugh and when I got back to my table the Dutch lad thought it would be funny to changed my Mobile phone settings to dutch instead of English. I was waiting for a text so how the hell am I suppose to read it in double dutch? I asked him to change it back but they both laughed like school children, when I asked again they kept laughing. I wasn't having any of his nonsense. I had to take direct action against them both. Either they put it right now or I'd take them both outside. They changed it there and then. Bloody kids. They both went back to the guesthouse in a sulk and left me on my own, Brilliant, I watched football and met some very interesting people from all different walks of life and nationalities in the Angkor Wat bar.

Made my way back to my Guesthouse and asked Sunrise to book me a boat ticket to Phnom Penh, Really wanted to make a move now, been here for a while and got itchy feet so it's time I moved on. Phnom Penh is what I was really came to Cambodia for.

Sunrise booked the ticket which cost $20 and the fast boat would take just under 4 hours from Siem Reap to Phnom Penh, If you wanted to you could always take the road which is cheap but after experiencing that super bus journey then you would be crazy to take that route unless you really had to budget.

Woke at 6am and had a light breakfast, then jumped on the back of sunrises scooter and raced through the dusty back lanes to the boat. On arriving it was packed with people selling all kinds of stuff, The fisherman had their daily catch set up on stools trying to sell to us Farangs, I had a little chuckle at one trader. I asked the trader who was trying to sell a huge snake for $20, What am I suppose to do with it if I purchase it? The thing was so big it would of taken two people to carry it. He replied, Eat it. No thankyou!!

Boarded the boat and must say this thing was something out of a james bond film, It was a 70 seated boat with fins on the front and the whole thing was air tight. When it got going the whole front lifted out of the water. Forgotten the speed at which it travelled but it didn't hang around.

Next stop, Phnom Penh,

Phnom Penh.
Arrived in Phnom Penh around 1pm. Grabbed my bag and headed up the walkway to where all the touts were waiting, Luckily I decided to have someone meet me as I knew it would extremely hard to communicate with the locals and would be very hard to find a place so thought by having someone who could speak a little English would be beneficial to me.

My little guide was waiting with my name on his place card, He seemed nice enough and said he would fined me a good guesthouse. Climbed on the back of his moped and off we went through the heat and smog of central Phnom Penh.

After 20 minutes we arrived at a guesthouse in central PH, Phil, who wanted to be called said he'd look after my bag while I was shown my room. The room was on the 8th floor of a restaurant. Didn't like the place even before I entered the restaurant because it was situated in a not to nice area and you have to walk through the main restaurant to the back then climb a metal spiral staircase and the room was small and to be honest, depressing, plus I thought $25 for the night was steep.

I came back out and said no. Phil probably gets a commission for bringing tourist to some places but I want a place that I feel comfy in and not to far from lively places, So then Phil said he knows a very good place and full credit to him, he didn't let me down either.

We went to another guesthouse and when we pulled up outside I instantly thought this is the place I'd be spending my next few days at. It was called the Washington Guesthouse and situated on Phlauv 51 road. Went in and viewed the room which was on the first floor, It had a double bed, hot shower, air conditioned and plus the whole place looked clean and tidy and the best bit is, It only cost $8 dollars a night.

Told phil it was pointless doing any sightseeing that day as it was getting late so he said he'd be back at 9 in the morning, But before he left we came to an arrangement about how much I'd pay him for his services, The going rate for a day is between 6-8 dollars. I liked him and after he said If i get lost then ring him at any time and he'll come and pick me up then I decided i'd give him 10 dollars a day. He was extremely pleased with that. Not surprising considering the average wage is 40 dollars a month.

He went and I thought I'd check out the area, decided not to venture to far that night as I'd get lost for sure because everybody and everything looked identical.

Just as I was leaving my guesthouse one of the lads who worked at the guesthouse said, You want to visit K-9? As soon as he said K-9 i knew what he meant, I've heard stories about that place from two people in the UK. You'll find out about K-9 later on. I declined the offer and headed across the road to a bar called the Cathouse Tavern which is on the corner of Phlauv51 , and It's a very popular haunt for foreigners and expats. Also on Phlauv51 but towards the bottom you have the club, Heart of Darkness, which is also a favourite with foreigners and stays open till 2am and right at the bottom you have the Australian OutBack Bar which is open 24/7.

Squeezed past the doormen and went in through two sets of doors, On entering I noticed how nice the bar was which is a filipino style bar with mock tropical decor and it served good counter lunches and it had an intimate feel about the place. Took my seat at the bar and ordered a drink, Not cheap at all, Cost $4 dollars and they make you pay before you leave and not straight away. At the bar you sit opposite a young Cambodian girl ( 21) where they try and start a conversation weather you like it or not.

Got chatting with my host and found out she was studying english at the local university, after a while she asked if I wanted a game of pool which she said the girls only play for money. I laughed and said I couldn't possibly take your money, she just smiled and brought my drink over to the table and set them up. She then told me the bet. It's $1 dollar a game to play. If she beats me then I have to pay her $1 dollar plus another dollar for the game, If I win I don't have to pay for the game. Sounds a bargain from my point of view, Not!!

This place is the only bar that charges for pool. I thought I'd be able to get a few free games but how wrong was I, I lost 5 on the trot and had enough. Everytime I tried to pot a ball my cue ball ended up going like a banana, I even looked under the table to make sure she didn't have a friend hidden underneath with a magnet. I paid her the $10 dollars which she has to give $7 to the landlord.

Took my seat back at the bar and got chatting to an Australian chap who works in Phnom Penh for an australian company, He asked if it was my first visit and where I've been in Cambodia and where I came from. When I told him I'm from the UK he suddenly mentioned that vile name ''Glitter''!

I just said I'd rather not get into a discussion about him if that's ok, His response was, Glitter got punished and served his time and should be left alone to lead a normal life, (apparently Vile man used to drink in a watering hole just behind the outback bar and next to the club ''heart of darkness'' till he got hounded out and crossed the border to Vietnam) ok mate, whatever! Then he asked me if I've heard of a place called K-9? I said I have from people from back home, He said don't ever go there, I said I had no intention of going there because it isn't my scene. Then I replied I had to go and made an exit.

Standing outside I decided to head to the outback bar and walked the 5 minute walk. Went in and it was a massive place, 4 pool tables, a wide screen and a hotel. Stayed till about 1am then headed back home, crashed out and woke at 10am, Went downstairs and Phil was waiting.

Where would you like to go first my friend said?

Why not start at S-21 the Prison.

The prison entrance is on the western side pf Ph 113, Just north Ph 350 and it cost me $2 entrance fee, I went in and paid for a guide to tell me what exactly what happened, wanted to hear it from someone who had witnessed this evil.
Each prisoner who passed through S-21 was photographed, sometimes before and after being tourtued, Some of the things that the Khmer Rough did was just pure evil and most of the cells still had the dry blood on the floor from the victims.

Before the prisoners entered their cells they had to read the 10 rules, They make grim reading.

Altogether a visit to S-21 is a depressing experience. The sheer ordinariness of the place makes it even more horrific, The buildings, The grassy playing area where today children kick a ball around, rusted beds, instruments of torture and wall after wall harrowing black and white pictures conjure up images of humanity at its worst, S-21 isn't for the squeamish.

Glad to leave the place, Came out and headed onto the Killing Fields, The killing fields is just off Choeung EK. Arrived and paid my $2 fee and went in, 17,000 men, women, children including 9 westerns detained and tortured at S-21 were transported to the extermination camp (Killing Fields) and if they weren't already dead then they would be bludgeoned to death to avoid wasting precious bullets. The remains of 8985 people, many of whom were blindfolded and bound were exhumed in 1980 from mass graves in this one time orchard.

43 of the 129 communal graves here have been left untouched, fragments of human bones and teeth and clothing scatter the disinterred pits, I went and saw the glass memorial that holds over 8,000 sculls, arranged by sex and age which are visible behind glass panels.

After seeing the massive of sculls I went for a walk around the graves, Came to a tree and on the tree it had what happens to children, soldiers take it in turns to beat the life out of a young defenceless child against a tree till every bone in their body had been broken then threw their lifeless body into the pit. walked passed another open grave and read the sign which said, 270 headless women. Grave after grave had different horror storeys. Just walking around I tried to picture what these poor people went through. truly horrific.

The killing field was so quite, butterflies hovering over the graves, it was so peaceful. I brought a drink and donated $10 for the upkeep of the graves and memorial building and left.

On our back Phil asked if I fancied the military range? I didn't have the energy to do the terrorist thing, I was emotionally drained after today's events, All I wanted was a few beers and relax for the evening. Got in a had a shower and decided I'd send a few e-mail's home to let everyone know I was still alive and well.

Stepped out and tried to find an internet cafe, I've been on some missions before but nothing like this, I walked to the bottom of the road and took a left down a side street and it was just dust and puddles and looked horrible. Walked along and took a right and then a left. I hadn't a clue where i was but knew I'd find an internet cafe sooner rather than later but wanted to be back at my guesthouse before the sun went down as it's not a wise decision to be walking around the back streets of Phnom Penh on your own after dark and after about 20 minutes I found one, Went in and logged on to hotmail, after 5 minutes nothing happened and was getting really pissed off as it was costing money.

I asked what the problem was and he just shrugged his shoulders, Thanks for the help mate. In Cambodia they've only just got internet so the connection speed is as slow as a snail. After a while I gave up and left without paying. He said that would be 3$, i said I'm not paying to look at a screen. In the end I gave him 2,000 riel.

Walked up another side street and found another, went in and logged in and it worked, I meant work as it did after 3 minutes. Sent an e-mail to some people that I knew from home including AB and left.

Came out and tried to get back to my guesthouse, what a nightmare!

Walked around for ages and couldn't find any road that looked familiar, Then it was getting dark which wouldn't help at all because the street lighting is very poor and I started having visions of people jumping out of the alleyway's, I walked for an hour and was getting extremely agitated as I kept coming back to where I was and it didn't help matters when I had loads of children on my case asking for money, Everywhere I went they would follow, I even tried to run for it but still couldn't shake the little buggers off.

In the end I brought 5 bottles of water and handed it to them, They was well happy with my gifts and they all sat down in the heat and drank and talked. I'd rather give them water than money, Because given money to children makes you look guilty even thou your not. It's that people have warped minds,

In the end it took me 3 and half hours to find my guest house which was originally about a 20 minute walk from where i actually was. The problem is everything and everyone looks identical. Talk about losing ones mind.

Back at the guest house and a quick change and decided to check out of pubs, On the way out the same lads said again, K-9? I said I haven't been interested and never will so please don't ask me again, One said something and by the expression on his face it wasn't nice, sod him, He's only after commission anyway.

Checked out a few different pubs and meet some interesting people, had a laugh and kept thinking about the following day when I would be a terrorist, got home and crashed out.

I appeared at about 11am and my friend was waiting, He was never early or late, Always on time.

We set of to the army base and I couldn't wait to get to grips with the weapons, as we headed to the base the traffic was bad, It's not uncommon to have someone coming straight at you on the wrong side of the road. At traffic lights both red and green mean 'go.' Anything goes basically, Just don't have an accident.

As the traffic thinned out, needless to say we got lost. No such things as road signs in Cambodia, but he soon got his bearings right in the end.

As we approached the place I then realised we had arrived, At the entrance is a sign which reads '"Special Forces'.' That was me.

On driving through the base I noticed I was the only foreigner there, We pulled up at the main point and descended from the moped, It's a kind of weird place, it has 3 wooden tables and a sheet of metal as a roof. As I sat down I then had a menu thrust in front of me, I was thinking Steak, Beer, Coffee, Just like the menu you get at restaurants at home but this wasn't no ordinary menu. It listed about 40 types of guns, you name it, It had it.

AK-47 =$30
M-16 =$35
Hand Grenades = $15
Rocket Launchers = $150

I sat there and worked out how much money I had and wanted to spend but I was like a kid in a sweet shop, I ordered an AK-47 assault rifle with 3 clips, M-16 assault rifle with 4 clips and 3 hand grenades plus a calibre hand gun with 2 clips.

Before He brought my arsenal of weapons over he brought me into the arms dump, Jesus christ, It had everything you could imagine. He got down the Rocket launcher and said $150 dollars and he'll even throw a cow in for that. Shit it was awesome. I would have to go to the mountains to let it off. I declined because i didn't want to spend to much. But I'll be going back for that little baby.

We went back out and he get me my weapons, I put the AK-47 over my right shoulder and the M-16 over my left, Put the hand gun in my back pocket but he wouldn't let me carry the hand grenades, I didn't want to either, if the pin came lose in my pocket then I would be leaving Cambodia in a box.

We made our way over to the range and put my toys to one side, He loaded my clip for the AK-47, The loading of the AK was like the movies, solid metallic click, then he passed it to me, shit, I'm holding the terrorist's favourite weapon, an AK-47, Loaded, with the safety catch off.

I take it and shoot at my target which is 50 meters away, At first he put it on single shot, after the 4th he clicked it to automatic fire, holy shit, the kick was awesome, The bullets were flying in all directions, it was like hundreds of photographers flashing away at the end of the range.

He brought my target up to show me how many hits I had, Not good, Didn't hit it once. Right I thought, He'll get it now with the M-16. Loaded the assault rifle and took aim. I didn't hold back with any single shots, Just automatic fire and let rip with it I did. I was like a man processed. I let the target have it big time. When he returned yet again with my target he just laughed, I could see why, After all those clips I managed to hit the target in the shin.

Next stop the hand gun, He asked if I would like a new target to shoot at, No thankyou, I replied as I wanted this target big time now, (It was my way of having some light banter with the soldiers) It seemed like it was smirking at me. He put it up outside on the outside range and was 25 meters away. Put my earmuffs on and took aim. Just before I shot I said to myself, Have this, After two clips I still failed to hit it, the soldiers were laughing to themselves. I felt like a right plum.

Now for the Hand Grenades i was told, As we was walking I was being told how to throw them, and had to pay a small fee for his pep talk which i gave 5 dollars.

We came to a pond and I placed the target in the middle and was practising with stones at first because the soldiers don't want the Grenade dropping down near them. After two practice runs I was ready, Pulled the pin and threw the grenade into the middle of the pond.

I was expecting something like the war films, a massive explosion and a fountain of water of 14ft foot high, It was an anti climax really. You hear a very loud thud and the whole ground around you for a good 20 meters shake, like an earthquake not like any off us has experienced one before, And when it explodes it creates a massive air bubble that rises to the surface. I highly recommend a visit to the army base to everyone!.

On our back from the very enjoyable events of the range I told Phil that he could have an early day. He dropped me off and would be back tomorrow, I felt it was time for me to move on as I had to be back in Bangkok in 4 days for my connecting flight to Bali. Wasn't very keen on the idea of Bali as It was only 2 months since it was bombed by Al Qaeda terrorists so everyone or nearly everyone would be still in mourning.

Things started to go wrong for me now, I could of sworn I've heard that before, Ok, I'll tell you something, Out of all my travel adventures it has only gone wrong twice, Cambodia and Amsterdam, Money wise. Thailand was completely different. Not bad going considering all the countries I've been to.

Had a bath and then read about Bali, wasn't much point really as everything would be in chaos out there but it made me more determined to go, Cant let terrorists think they've won?

Decided to hit a club tonight and it would be a disaster, Started of in my usual pub then made my way to the outback bar, Had a nice relaxing time and then was going to walk back to the tavern bar, A taxi asked me if I wanted a lift, I thought why not. Jumped on the back and of we went. Go to the pub 1 minute later and he demanded 1 dollar. No way, I'll give you 4,000 riel, we had a row over it and i then put the 4,000 riel on a dustbin and said either you can take it or leave it, the decision is yours, I don't mind giving money to people who I think deserve it but when people demand so much or ask then I decide if I shall give and how much.

I'm not out of order for doing that, They try it on all the time. Told a few people what had happened and they said well done and that the going rate from there to here is 2,000 reil. But you've got to watch your back from now on because you've made an enemy. Sitting there having a few drinks I couldn't get him out of my head and felt really uneasy. 11pm and they closed early on a sunday and then decided to go to the club heart of darkness.

Came of the tavern bar and was walking down towards the Heartness club and it was pitch black, I suddenly heard a moped behind me and I instantly said to myself it's him!! I had a gut instinct it was. As it was getting nearer I was ready for anything, If he wanted it I would be ready. Most tourist would be scared but not me.

The moped drew along beside me and it was him. He started shouting every insult possible at me but I didn't have a clue what any of it meant, I just stood my ground and didn't say a word but just stared at him. he then zoomed off to the bottom towards his mates.

As I was walking I noticed him talking to his mates and pointing in my direction. Shit. I'm in trouble now. I only had one choice and that was to make a quick exit down a side street, I took the next left and was on my toes, I didn't hang around, I must of broken the 100 meter world record down that side street, Got to the bottom and swung a right, found a little ally and flew down there then took the next right, As I came out I hit a bag of bottles and went flying. Landed on a heap of rubbish, rotten food, bottles, excrement the lot.

I was lying in a heap and felt water running down my leg and lots of little furry (Rats) things running over my back and neck. Picked myself up and was in a rage, sod them, I'm not running anymore. so headed back. Made my way round the other way to the darkness club and went in. On looking down on my leg it wasn't water but blood. Went to the toilet to tidy myself up and I looked a right mess. Didn't stay as I looked like a vagrant

Woke in the morning and my sheet was covered in blood, Pulled the sheet back and realised I needed stitches in my knee, I went out and found myself a chemist and brought a DIY kit. Got back and bandaged up my knee.

Came back down and my little friend was there as usual, Where today Zippy? To be honest I didn't have a clue, I had seen what I came for. He mentioned the Kings palace, Why not i thought. As I was getting on his bike he mentioned K-9, I said no. Please drop that subject. We drove though the city and stopped of for some petrol, It was in the main market. This chap pulled 5 bottles of petrol from under the counter, they was more like petrol bombs. I paid for them and Phil couldn't believe his luck, Not only was I paying him ten dollars day but was also paying for the petrol. Got to the kings palace and paid $5 entrance fee and spent about 20 minutes inside.

Came out to scores of beggars, couldn't move, sweat was dripping of me and wanted to get away from them. My little friend appeared and told them not to hassle me and then they dispersed, Jumped on the back and departed, We ended up going about 15 miles and stopped at this village, I got off and I was going to meet his family, He had 2 brothers 2 sisters and a wife and daughter.

The brothers were in the army and i said hello to everyone. Was offered a dinner but wasn't hungry so we moved on. After about 25 minutes we came to another village and it was in the middle of nowhere and it was bad, Kids drinking filthy water, it was like a shanty town. It was poverty as its worse.

As we drove in, there was a main stretch of road, Pot holes, Or more like craters, It was dusty and sewage and rubbish lined the sides of the buildings and rats were running freely around like they were pets the size of small cats with little side streets leading off them, The buildings had big metal shutters on them so did the buildings on the side roads. They were like little shops waiting to open for business but it didn't add up to me and something defiantly didn't seem right at all, Everything looked so wired and spooky, as we was going down the main street I noticed a pub, the pub was an open plan and it had 11 foreigners drinking in it but no one was speaking to each other. They seem to be waiting for something.

As we drove to the crossroad's I asked why everyone isn't saying anything and where the hell are we as the whole place didn't feel right and why has every building got massive steel shutters on them for with people standing outside, Kind of lookouts? My little friend replied this is K-9. Phil told me the reason why all the buildings have metal shutters is because if the police turn up they can't see nothing and leave. But the activates that go on behind these metal shutters have a sinister side to it.

K-9!! I said you idiot, I told you i didn't want to come here. The place gave me the shivers. None of you have never probably heard of the place before. K-9 is a place where a minority of people come for prostitutes. Not just any prostitutes. This place you can have any female you like, age isn't important.

If you are seeking illegal activities then you'll find it here but moral grounds alone should be enough to deter foreigners from seeking under age sexual partners but unfortunately that isn't enough.

This place is pedophile heaven. It's been on the news back home. Don't get me wrong there are legit people who come here seeking sex with legal partners but you always get the minority who don't. Even if you are legit then i would still advice anyone not to visit K-9. People get arrested here quite often and they have to bribe the police whether you are innocent or not.

I said to phil I'd rather we leave now please as I didn't want my picture on the front page of the papers, I was an innocent person who got brought to K-9 against my wishes just so phil could make a nice commission if i had slept with a prostitute which i had no intention of doing so from day one of being in Cambodia.

He apologised as he knew i wasn't happy about the whole situation and we left, as we neared the exit of K-9 we drove passed this building and the metal shutter was rolling up and I couldn't help but look inside as we passed. Inside it had a long corridor and it had i would say about 10 rooms, They were like prison cells with metal doors and the occupants standing inside was a total shock. Told phil to open the bike up and just go.

I don't expect anyone who reads this is ever likely to travel through Cambodia but if you do, Then I would defiantly recommend you avoid K-9. Altogether It was probably one of the most disturbing things I've ever witnessed in all my time of being a backpacker.

Got back to my guesthouse and told phil I'll try and get a flight to Bangkok in the morning as there is no way I would go by road. Went in and checked my stuff and found out I was $1,600 dollars short in travellers cheques. Hadn't a clue how I managed to lose them and I hadn't checked them for a few days. Couldn't do nothing now as it was to late.

The next morning I got up and got a lift into the city centre and found the place that deals with lost/stolen travellers cheques. Went in and told them my predicament. Told them I had them stolen and they asked me questions, etc. Then told me to report it to the police then come back.

Got back to my place and phil was waiting, told him the situation and he said he'd take me to the police station. Went to one and they couldn't help then went to the main one and went in. As i was standing there I noticed a lad sitting next to the door, asked him why he was here for and he said he'd lost his passport, He asked me, I said lost 16000 dollars. He said that is bad. Not as bad as you my friend, I can still leave the country and carry on with my journey whereas you can only go to one place when the british government sort this mess out and that is the UK.…

Took a seat at the table and spoke with the inspector and told him I was robbed, He said he couldn't help me as the senior officer wasn't on duty for a couple of days. That was no good to me, I needed this mess sorted now. After a while he said he would help without the senior officer. Went into the back room and he filled out loads of forms and said he needed two offer signatures to make this document legal.

I said I really need it sorted today as I need to be back in Thailand for a connecting flight, He looked at me and said ok, I'll sort it today, He signed the document himself then got another officer to sign it then he said he shouldn't be doing this but said he would sign as the senior officer as well. He said it would cost £10 dollars, Fair enough. Handed over $10 dollars and then he just looked at my wallet and smiled, Sorry, I completely forgot, would another $10 dollars be ok, Thankyou he replied. Had to pay the corrupt official to forge the document. He handed me my forged crime report and I left.

Went back and showed my report and he photocopied it and faxed the document to the branch in Bangkok, had to wait 20 minutes then spoke to a woman in Bangkok, trying to understand a word she was saying was a near impossible task, Handed the phone over to the chap and said I don't understand what she's saying. He got someone else for me and she wasn't much better. She kept asking questions like where you going next? How long you staying for? Then where are you going to after that. I said how long is a piece of string?

Tried telling her I'm a backpacker and when I visited a place I could spend a day there or if I really like it I could spend 2 months there. But she needed to know exactly how long I was spending in each city/country so she could monitor my transactions. I'm not going to backpack around just to prove who I say I am. I said forget it. You've got all the documents you require and I'll sort it out when I'm home. Can't believe American express will make me wait until they are one hundred per cent certain it's me before given a refund. For goodness sake what else does one need to do too convince them. Luckily I had 2,500 US dollars left.

Left the place and wasn't happy with the outcome. Headed to a travel agents and booked a flight to Bangkok for the next morning, The flight cost $140 dollars.

Next morning got up and packed my bag, Looked outside and saw an elephant going for its daily stroll. Got a good picture of it, it's not every day you see an elephant walking along the main road. Brought a smile to my face.

Phil arrived and set of for the airport, on arriving I said bye and it was a pleasure in meeting you and gave him a tip of $10 dollars and all the riel I had left over. Boarded the flight and was in Bangkok in 2 hours.

Would like to say that Cambodia is a brilliant country. I saw the good, bad, and evil side of life on my travel through Cambodia. The only thing that has spolied Camboda is Gary Glittler for bringing shame on the beautiful country.

P. s, I got my $1,600 dollars back eventually, It only took American express 3 months. So may that be a warning to whoever brings American express travellers cheques with them on their adventures. You lose them and you won't get them back in 24 hours, It'll be 3 months.

If there are gaps it's because pictures was suppose to be there, and can't be bothered to spend time putting pictures where I describe the places.

Regards.

 

[berkshire seagull]

Yeah get pissed,shag and catch the rays

 

[Terrace Dandy]

Yeah get pissed,shag and catch the rays

And I was thinking I'd be reading a brilliant story

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

went to new zealand
stayed right in the north tip of it.
met a load of hippies, went back to auckland, played "soccer", got scouted by a "Kingz FC" scout, had to go back to England, declined

 

[Curious Orange]

May 2002, my housemate and I went on a fly-drive holiday along the west side of the USA, post 11 September, pre visa clampdown.

Started in LA, a very strange place where walking appears to be prohibited. Had enough time there to get a coach tour, saw the Holywood sign, lunched at the Hard Rock Cafe (were I had a dessert that came in a bowl the size of my head!), took a wander on Santa Monica Beach where Baywatch used to be shot although it was strangely free of buxom bikini clad lovelies running in slow motion. Also had a day at Disney Land (our hotel was in Anaheim), which I thoroughly enjoyed, and saw the first Spiderman film.

Moved on to Palm Springs, which is possibly the hottest place I have ever been. It is also a very relaxing place to be, not much to do other than relax by the pool and take a swim. There is a cable car which goes up the mountain, and the top is a lush forest, a complete contrast to the desert below. We also saw the first showing of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones on opening day (actually we saw it twice that day).

The next stop was Lake Havasu City, which we went to via Joshua Tree National Park where we saw a Coyote, but sadly no Roadrunners, piles of bird seed (appropriately sign-posted) or discarded ACME boxes. Lake Havasu City is like a giant Butlins camp, with London Bridge as a centre piece. It was certainly wierd having an evening meal and a pint of Tetley by a former London landmark and an artificial lake in the middle of the desert.

It must have been around this time we travelled on Route 66, I think we travelled along it on the way to Havasu, and we certainly did on the way to Grand Canyon, it was definitely twice though as we stopped at the same diner twice!!! We took the scenic route to travel on Route 66, but that was the whole point of the holiday, the travel between destinations was just as important as those places themselves, all was to be savoured.

Oh yeah, Grand Canyon. Wow, beautiful, gulp, ooh, ahh, my God that's a f*cking big hole!! We arrived at the Canyon in time for sunset, and I used the best part of two reels of film photographing it. Never have I been to a place of such spectacular natural grandeur and shifting mood as the shadows movements reveal new details and ever more intense colours in the rock. My housemate and I were mesmerised by the place. The next morning we took a helicoptor ride over the rim, paid for by my housemate to whom I'll be forever grateful.

We travelled northwards, taking in the the architectural wonder that is the Hoover dam. It was an odd experience approaching the dam, as the local Old Bill (not sure which agency it was, when I say local I mean American) were in full on paranoid mode and were stopping every car to see if there were any arabian types inside, a couple of pasty white Englishmen didn't seem to concern them unduly!!!

More desert travel took us to the bright lights and constant kerching-kerching of Las Vegas. Our room in the Mandalay Bay was bigger than my sister's old flat. Not much to tell about Vegas that hasn't been seen in a thousand movies - we got very drunk.

Yosemite was a peaceful and relaxing tonic to Las Vegas, lovely countryside, spectacular mountains. Another Coyote was spotted, but still no Roadrunner!! A walk up into the mountains revealed that despite the warmth in the valley there was still some snow in shaded places, so a snowman was built, albeit a small one!!

The last place on the trip was San Fransisco, and I'd gladly have swapped a day in Vegas for another day there, principally so there'd have been time to book up a trip to Alcatraz. San Fransisco has the most European feel of all the places we'd visited on the holiday, and it was a nice place to take a wander, hang off the side of the streetcars, and watch the Sealions down by Fishermans Wharf. On the last night we went out for a pizza - tip to the uninitiated, a "medium" sized pizza is fecking enormous!! - and while we were eating we spotted Greg Proops wandering past, presumably going to the comedy club down the road. As the meal drew on my housemate started staring over my shoulder at someone who had just entered the restaurant. Eventually my houemate asks me, "Is that Ruud van Nistlerooy over there?", I peer round and sure enough there is this horse-faced Dutch looking fella who looked like he'd rather be preparing for a World Cup, and an attractive young lady. We didn't want to disturb his meal so the next time the waitress came over we asked her whether she could confirm our suspicions. Now of course we should have taken into account that our waitress was both a girl and an American and so shouldn't be expected to recognise a world famous footballer, however she clearly realised that she was serving someone important and duly became slightly star-struck, but eventually we managed to persuade her to ask for his autograph, so a couple of signed napkins were soon forthcoming. We overcame our own British descreteness, and said hello to him on the way out, he was a friendly chap and said we should have come over earlier.

Then we went back to Blighty.

(It was announced that my office was to close a couple of days later, glad I went when I did!!)

 

[Easy 10]

I don't often mention this, but now seems as good a time as any.

I was hiking on a trail through the jungle near the border of Columbia and Ecuador back in 1997. I'm not sure which side of the border I was (there is no border control there as the jungles are so impenetrable in that area), but one morning, I came across a small child on the side of the track. She looked about 10 years old, and she was weeping. I tried to find out what the matter was, but she wouldn't speak (not that I'd understand anyway). All she kept doing was pointing into the trees beside the track.

I walked into the trees a few yards, and could see some kind of settlement with shabby mud-huts, and the whole area was ringed with a wall about 5 ft high. It wasn't visible from the track at all, I had to push through a few trees to see it. I turned around to check on the little girl, but she had vanished. However, intrigued by the hidden settlement, I continued forward until I arrived at the wall, and clambered over. There was a camp fire still smoking in the middle, but other that that, there was no sign of life at all. There was a strange smell though, as though something had been burning on the fire - kind of a sickly-sweet, unpleasant tangy odour which caught at the back of my throat, and I couldn't help but cough. As my cough broke the silence, I heard something stir in one of the mud-huts to my right. The doorway was covered by a single, shabby curtain, which was being caressed lightly by the breeze.

Slowly I approached the hut, put my hand on the curtain, and drew it back. Inside was darkness, almost pitch black, and I waited for my eyes to adjust to the light before stepping inside. As the curtain closed behind, I saw directly in front of me, two yellow orbs, suspended in the air as if floating. A low gutteral growl came forth, and I realised with shock that the yellow orbs were the piercing eyes of a hidden beast - and I was within its lair. I started backing off, and to my relief I was once again outside. The relief didn't last long though, as the beast leapt from the doorway, landed beside me, and crouched ready to pounce. It was cat-like in appearance, but more bulky at the shoulders and heavily muscled. In fact, it might have been a werewolf.

It fixed me with its terrible golden eyes, and sprang forward. I sidestepped the beast, and in one whirling movement executed a flying roundhouse kick, and went "WWWWHHAAYAAAAA" just like BRUCE LEE, and caught it flush on the side of the head. Stunned and angry, it recovered its senses and charged at me, a devastating black rage driving it on with renewed fury. But I stood my ground, waited for the last split second, and punched it in the FACE - and it ran off howling.

I carried on my jungle hiking holiday and came back to England about three months later. but not a day goes by when I don't think of the little weeping girl, and the big werewolf. *














* None of this actually happened. In 1997 I went to a Haven holiday camp in Christchurch (but I DID kill a large stag beetle there).

 

[Terrace Dandy]

* None of this actually happened. In 1997 I went to a Haven holiday camp in Christchurch (but I DID kill a large stag beetle there).

Thought it was a good read until I got to the bottom and realised the story was bullshit. Is that what your life is like then Easy? all fictitious? Very sad.

 

[Terrace Dandy]

May 2002, my housemate and I went on a fly-drive holiday along the west side of the USA, post 11 September, pre visa clampdown.

Started in LA, a very strange place where walking appears to be prohibited. Had enough time there to get a coach tour, saw the Holywood sign, lunched at the Hard Rock Cafe (were I had a dessert that came in a bowl the size of my head!), took a wander on Santa Monica Beach where Baywatch used to be shot although it was strangely free of buxom bikini clad lovelies running in slow motion. Also had a day at Disney Land (our hotel was in Anaheim), which I thoroughly enjoyed, and saw the first Spiderman film.

Moved on to Palm Springs, which is possibly the hottest place I have ever been. It is also a very relaxing place to be, not much to do other than relax by the pool and take a swim. There is a cable car which goes up the mountain, and the top is a lush forest, a complete contrast to the desert below. We also saw the first showing of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones on opening day (actually we saw it twice that day).

The next stop was Lake Havasu City, which we went to via Joshua Tree National Park where we saw a Coyote, but sadly no Roadrunners, piles of bird seed (appropriately sign-posted) or discarded ACME boxes. Lake Havasu City is like a giant Butlins camp, with London Bridge as a centre piece. It was certainly wierd having an evening meal and a pint of Tetley by a former London landmark and an artificial lake in the middle of the desert.

It must have been around this time we travelled on Route 66, I think we travelled along it on the way to Havasu, and we certainly did on the way to Grand Canyon, it was definitely twice though as we stopped at the same diner twice!!! We took the scenic route to travel on Route 66, but that was the whole point of the holiday, the travel between destinations was just as important as those places themselves, all was to be savoured.

Oh yeah, Grand Canyon. Wow, beautiful, gulp, ooh, ahh, my God that's a f*cking big hole!! We arrived at the Canyon in time for sunset, and I used the best part of two reels of film photographing it. Never have I been to a place of such spectacular natural grandeur and shifting mood as the shadows movements reveal new details and ever more intense colours in the rock. My housemate and I were mesmerised by the place. The next morning we took a helicoptor ride over the rim, paid for by my housemate to whom I'll be forever grateful.

We travelled northwards, taking in the the architectural wonder that is the Hoover dam. It was an odd experience approaching the dam, as the local Old Bill (not sure which agency it was, when I say local I mean American) were in full on paranoid mode and were stopping every car to see if there were any arabian types inside, a couple of pasty white Englishmen didn't seem to concern them unduly!!!

More desert travel took us to the bright lights and constant kerching-kerching of Las Vegas. Our room in the Mandalay Bay was bigger than my sister's old flat. Not much to tell about Vegas that hasn't been seen in a thousand movies - we got very drunk.

Yosemite was a peaceful and relaxing tonic to Las Vegas, lovely countryside, spectacular mountains. Another Coyote was spotted, but still no Roadrunner!! A walk up into the mountains revealed that despite the warmth in the valley there was still some snow in shaded places, so a snowman was built, albeit a small one!!

The last place on the trip was San Fransisco, and I'd gladly have swapped a day in Vegas for another day there, principally so there'd have been time to book up a trip to Alcatraz. San Fransisco has the most European feel of all the places we'd visited on the holiday, and it was a nice place to take a wander, hang off the side of the streetcars, and watch the Sealions down by Fishermans Wharf. On the last night we went out for a pizza - tip to the uninitiated, a "medium" sized pizza is fecking enormous!! - and while we were eating we spotted Greg Proops wandering past, presumably going to the comedy club down the road. As the meal drew on my housemate started staring over my shoulder at someone who had just entered the restaurant. Eventually my houemate asks me, "Is that Ruud van Nistlerooy over there?", I peer round and sure enough there is this horse-faced Dutch looking fella who looked like he'd rather be preparing for a World Cup, and an attractive young lady. We didn't want to disturb his meal so the next time the waitress came over we asked her whether she could confirm our suspicions. Now of course we should have taken into account that our waitress was both a girl and an American and so shouldn't be expected to recognise a world famous footballer, however she clearly realised that she was serving someone important and duly became slightly star-struck, but eventually we managed to persuade her to ask for his autograph, so a couple of signed napkins were soon forthcoming. We overcame our own British descreteness, and said hello to him on the way out, he was a friendly chap and said we should have come over earlier.

Then we went back to Blighty.

(It was announced that my office was to close a couple of days later, glad I went when I did!!)

Great read. I want to visit the Grand Canyon to do white water rafting. The colorado river runs from utar through the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon was discovered in 1838 buy these two Americans who got lost and found it by a wooden raft. Watched a documentary on it, bloody amazing.

 

[Easy 10]

Thought it was a good read until I got to the bottom and realised the story was bullshit. Is that what your life is like then Easy? all fictitious? Very sad.

Yup.
My life is one long Wilbur Smith paperback. I can barely step outside my door without being shot at, mauled, impaled, run over, stabbed, embalmed, buried alive or struck down by some tragic and debilitating disease.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[berkshire seagull]

I have many storys but can't be arsed to do,so i reckon shag,pissed and catch the rays is reasonable enough.

 

[dougdeep]

I went to Wigan once.

 

[Curious Orange]

I went to Wigan once.

Ooh, I've been there too. My little big sister took me to a Rock Club there. I think I embarrassed her by getting extremely drunk and dancing in one of the cages!!!