Songs to have sex to...

[JJ McClure]

f*** her Gently - Tenacious D

This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to f*** her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fuckin give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna f*** you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me
That's fuckin teamwork
Whats your favorite posish?
That's cool with me
Its not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
Im not gonna cook it
But ill order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fuckin f*** you discreetly
And then I'll f***ing bone you completely
But then I'm gonna f*** you hard

 

[Lush]

Funky Gibbon

Not Black Pudding Bertha then?

 

[Lush]

Anyway Cereal Killer, I suggest that next time you're entertaining a ladee you pop "In the Mood" on the CD player. That will guarantee the perfect atmosphere.

 

[Dave the OAP]

Down Down, Deeper and Down - Quo?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick - Ian Dury

 

[Parson Henry]

In and out of love?

Imagination

 

[zefarelly]

Do I love you - Frank Wilson

The Night - Franki Valli



and we have a son

 

[linda_gull]

James Blunt - Your Beautiful

 

[JJ McClure]

Iron Maiden - Bring your Daughter to the Slaughter

 

[Faldo]

Snooker loopy - Chas n Dave

 

[Hampden Park]

i'm a wanker, i'm a wanker, and it does me good like it bloody well should etc etc (just in case you are on your own)

 

[Bono]

Stuck In A Moment And You Can't Get Out Of It.

 

[Faldo]

Oasis - Fuckin in the bushes? works well because its only about 2 minutes long...

Final Countdown - Europe

Polly - Nirvana?

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

rape me- nirvana


or... the RICHARD CHEESE version of it, which is classic

 

[Le Premier Cru]

Bolero - for a climatic quickie

Try the Stanley Jordan version - it goes on for ages

 

[Yoda]

Afroman's version of Wonderful tonight.

the more you drink the better i sound
go to the bar and buy another round i feel wonderful
how many people feel wonderful tonight

she unfastens her bra strap
she slides off her underwear
the beautiful moonlite
reflects on her pubic hair

I open her legs
then slowly slide my tounge inside
and say darlin
you taste wonderful tonite

she sucks on my dick head
she gradually licks my balls
she tickles my asshole
cause this girl can do it all

i came so hard
i slowly lost my eyesight
And I said darlin
you suck wonderful tonite

(phone rings) Hey get the phone man

Hello, what?
Eric Clapton aint gonna clear it?
tell em sue me this shit is tight

 

[Sonic]

I did it once to Rock Lobster by the B-52's. Not sure why but it stuck in my mind.

 

[Bluejuice]

That Tenacious D song sounds like the most embarrassing record ever. I hope I never have to hear it again.

I once spent an evening with a lady with Nirvana Unplugged in New York on repeat. Worked somewhat of a treat.

 

[Beeneys gloves]

Tried it once with football forever by the Smurfs on, really didnt work....

 

[Oscar]

Talk about stamina. Some of these songs must be like.....three minutes long! I guess this includes small talk and foreplay, right?