Teams of specialists with sensitive olfactory senses will be bought in to generate the exact odour of the pisuars at the Goldstone, to keep us old timers happy. It's all about the nostalgia.
The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen and Muse are amongst the many world class live music acts not currently planning to play the Amex Community Stadium at Falmer.
The Head of Security spends your ticket money on employing teams of meathead 'Response Stewards', dressed in paramilitary clothing, plus their more sinister bretheran the Stasi 'Plain Clothes Stewards', planted amongst unsuspecting spectators and dressed in err, plain clothes.
However, should you catch fire he wouldn't piss on you.