Some people need to take a chill pill

[PILTDOWN MAN]

This is one of those instances where at a very quick glance, it may appear as pc gone mad, its a woke thing, bloody snowflakes,etc

However with just a little thought put into it then there is more to it than that.

Whether some like it or not, we live in a world where non CIS gender identity is no longer hidden away as it once was- for a frame of reference think how being gay was viewed in the 1960-70s.

People identifying as being a non CIS Gender isn't something new, its just now more people are aware of it, and people are now more open about being non CIS, in the same way as there aren't more gay, lesbian or Bi people now, its just safer to acknowledge that than it was before

Now given the Celebrants profession, in which he deals with a lot of very emotional people on a daily basis, he presumably understands that very emotional people are in a very raw state and that by definition are possibly only just holding things together, and that it takes very little to cause even more pain and upset.

In a lot of instances most would have suffered in silence, not wanting to create a fuss, but on this occasion the person didn't. Given that it was a funeral then you have to think that the person was upset enough to speak to the officiate-and that takes guts and indicates that a high level of distress

So, wouldn't it be a good idea for the OP to take on board that he needs to re-evaluate his opening remarks and see if there is away he can amend them to encompass all who may be attending, without going down the Ladies, Gentlemen, Non Binary, and everything inbetween route which WILL cause offense to everyone.

If only there was a word or phrase that would cover all the people that are there. You know something like "Good Afternoon Everyone, thank you for coming to celebrate the life of........."

It wont cause offence to anyone, doesn't accidentally exclude anyone, and still sounds a perfectly natural way to start the service

You keep saying the celebrant was a he, why? No mention from the OP that they are he, her or them they or indeed a tree.

I would also add, the OP doesn't say that a scene was created, but that AFTER the service was over they approached the Celebrant and spoke to him. He doesn't say it was in hearing of the family (for all we know the person WAS family)

It may well be that the person was doing exactly the right thing, informing the Celebrant that actually he may want to be more aware in future- and prevent any one else feeling excluded.

Done it again

Before posting about this, perhaps you should look up what the word means, and where it derives from, rather than be offended by something which you obviously know nothing about

In what way is the following a "slur"?


cisgender
/sɪsˈdʒɛndə/
adjective
adjective: cis-gender
denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex.
"this new-found attention to the plight of black trans folks by primarily cisgender allies is timely and necessary"
Definitions from Oxford Languages


Cisgender has its origin in the Latin-derived prefix cis-, meaning 'on this side of', which is the opposite of trans-, meaning 'across from' or 'on the other ...

Doesn't matter what it means if someone doesn't like it why should you believe they should be able to be called it? Double standards.

 

[drew]

Whilst I don't claim to fully understand the desire to self identify that doesn't mean they shouldn't have the right to.

In this case, the mourner shouldn't have necessarily reacted quite the way they did. It seems they approached the celebrant after the service and I can only assume not in an attempt to create a scene in front of everyone. Perhaps they should have just pointed out that, as an non-binary, they were unhappy with the intro of 'Ladies and Gentlemen' however maybe cut them some slack as emotions could well be running high.

As others have stated, just because offence was taken doesn't mean offence was intended.

Surely though, the celebrant, going forward, merely needs to state 'Welcome everyone'

 

[MattBackHome]

I wonder if the celebrant is as titsy about all this as the OP and all the frothers on here?

Sent from my SM-A715F using Tapatalk

 

[WATFORD zero]

Is it only me who finds it funny that so many posters on here (including the OP) are happy to use the term 'celebrant' but hate the idea of using the term 'everyone' instead of 'Ladies and Gentleman' ? It's almost as if society stopped developing for some after 'celebrants' arrived in the UK back in 1980s

 

[Lenny Rider]

Gents, Ladies and our non binary friends.

I’ve been doing my job for 34 years, and my age range of funerals conducted is still born to 107, Ive sadly encountered every conceivable mode of passing, my point was, and if people misconstrued what I said I apologise, after extremely challenging times in the last 18 months where frankly my staff have been superb, one ‘person’ saw fit to travel out of Town to the Crematorium attend a funeral service of someone’s loved one, and then still pulled a person up over what they said being politically incorrect, despite it being a time honoured and polite greeting.

But at 15 pages I’ve clearly offended some on here, so again apologies.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Coincidentally Snickers just aired an advert in Spain which, one presumes unintentionally, caused offense. Their response was mature, professional and understanding.

“At no time has it been intended to stigmatize or offend any person or group." A spokesperson for parent company Mars Wrigley said the firm wholeheartedly apologised for any harm caused by the advert and recognised that it "got it wrong".

"We take equal rights and inclusion seriously, we want a world where everybody is free to be themselves and we believe that as an employer and advertiser we have a role and a responsibility to play our part in creating that world," the firm's spokesperson added.”

 

[Super Steve Earle]

Just a personal opinion, but I tend to think taking offence is a personal choice in most cases, not a natural reaction. Hopefully nobody will take offence. I won't be debating the matter anyway, but won't take offence if others disagree

 

[WATFORD zero]

Gents, Ladies and our non binary friends.

I’ve been doing my job for 34 years, and my age range of funerals conducted is still born to 107, Ive sadly encountered every conceivable mode of passing, my point was, and if people misconstrued what I said I apologise, after extremely challenging times in the last 18 months where frankly my staff have been superb, one ‘person’ saw fit to travel out of Town to the Crematorium attend a funeral service of someone’s loved one, and then still pulled a person up over what they said being politically incorrect, despite it being a time honoured and polite greeting.

But at 15 pages I’ve clearly offended some on here, so again apologies.

Maybe you could avoid any recurrence of this problem you experienced by suggesting to the celebrants that they use the term 'everyone' in future, because you wouldn't want people to mistake your obvious concern for trolling, would you ?

Hope this helps

 

[Moshe Gariani]

Was the wake woke..?

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Maybe you could avoid any recurrence of this problem you experienced by suggesting to the celebrants that they use the term 'everyone' in future, because you wouldn't want people to mistake your obvious concern for trolling, would you ?

Hope this helps

True, this is the sensible solution going forward. Using the term “everyone” makes zero difference to the celebrant and others at the service but makes a difference to those who identify differently. On a personal level it also feels warmer and less stuffy.

Or maybe there’s some other agenda underpining this thread?

 

[BadFish]

True, this is the sensible solution going forward. Using the term “everyone” makes zero difference to the celebrant and others at the service but makes a difference to those who identify differently. On a personal level it also feels warmer and less stuffy.

Or maybe there’s some other agenda underpining this thread?

But. but. but

Woke!

Offended

Snowflakes!

Political Correctness!

Why should people change to make others feel more included? Its madness!

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

But. but. but

Woke!

Snowflakes!

Political Correctness!

Why should people change to make others feel more included? Its madness!

And where will it end?





(With a fully inclusive world obviously)

 

[BadFish]

And where will it end?





(With a fully inclusive world obviously)

Sadly it will take longer than necessary because people stifle conversation and debate with the catch-all buzz words.

As you say it makes you question people's agendas.

My kids are all over this stuff and it really doesn't seem that complicated to me.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

You are slippery as an eel when it comes to clear definitions aren't you?

Who were you referring to when you talked about 'soft cock lefties'. These are the people who you claim Australians hold in low esteem.

I assumed that you were talking about left leaning people. I also assumed that they could be identified by their voting for the Labour party over the Liberals .

Not it seems that you have a different definition of those you believe are held in low regard. Help me out here and be clear on your definition of who you believe Australians hold in low esteem.

Is it Labour party members with erectile disfunction?

I’ve always believed women had the vote in Australia too.

 

[BadFish]

I’ve always believed women had the vote in Australia too.

We've come a long way. They are allowed in pubs now too.

 

[Nitram]

perhaps people need to state in their wills how they wish the crowd to be addressed at their funeral ....?? y'know so as not to cause offence to anyone like. The celebrant would start the service not by welcoming the crowd but reading the wishes of the departed as to the welcoming part of the ceremony , the proposed welcome would be hypothetically aired giving anyone who may be offended by the proposed welcome the opportunity to leave the room , thus alleviating the situation to arise where somebody or persons may find themselves offended or , in acute cases, outraged.


FFS....!!!

No its about courtesy and respect, as I said subsequently to the post you quoted, Ladies and Gentlemen is more appropriate for some male dominated corporate event.
Most would start a funeral eulogy with ‘everyone’ if being impersonal, but if the celebrant was bothered they would start with the names of the immediate family, then generally include family and friends. Not by individual names so as not to confuse you in case you are wondering.
The only person making a huge deal of this, apart from the politically motivated and dinosaurs, are the OP who is the one most outraged. A person who is a professional sharing details over a public forum of an event he was paid to perform so he can get brownie points with his like minded mates. That’s the pathetic part of all of this.

 

[Washie]

Alternatively, someone getting upset about having to use a different form of address might be seen as the 'snowflake'

Sorry, some of my post seems to be missing, i was calling people who don't like the fact that people are not binary, but actually identify as something else snowflakes, sorry for the confusuion.

 

[Baker lite]

Gents, Ladies and our non binary friends.

I’ve been doing my job for 34 years, and my age range of funerals conducted is still born to 107, Ive sadly encountered every conceivable mode of passing, my point was, and if people misconstrued what I said I apologise, after extremely challenging times in the last 18 months where frankly my staff have been superb, one ‘person’ saw fit to travel out of Town to the Crematorium attend a funeral service of someone’s loved one, and then still pulled a person up over what they said being politically incorrect, despite it being a time honoured and polite greeting.

But at 15 pages I’ve clearly offended some on here, so again apologies.

Once again, no need to apologise, some people ( an awful lot of them on NSC) cannot wait to be outraged, they could start an argument in an empty house.

 

[The Clamp]

Once again, no need to apologise, some people ( an awful lot of them on NSC) cannot wait to be outraged, they could start an argument in an empty house.

You’re not wrong. Chicken Run, Ppf and JCFG all banned in the last few days for arguing and trolling in an empty Bear Pit

 

[sydney]

I'll leave that for you to figure out, along with why it seems so common to leave those spaces before the commas.
Odd, that.

i don't need to figure anything out sausage , punctuation errors are up there with wanting to mess with your sexual apparatus......ok geezer , you carry on....