Rubbish Jokes

[Prince Monolulu]

Currently absorbed in a book about ship construction, it's riveting.

 

[Baldseagull]

My mate drinks brake fluid, I think he is addicted but he reckons he can stop anytime he likes.

 

[pasty]

A dog walking down a country lane stops and asks 2 horses in a field what time it is. One horse looks at the other and says "bugger me, a talking dog"

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

Why did the boy fall off his bike?




Cos someone threw a fridge at him

What's white and lives in the Australian bush.... ?



Skippy The Bushkangafridge...

 

[Norman Potting]

Police arrested two men, one drinking battery acid and the other eating fireworks. They charged the first and let the second one off.

 

[Algernon]

What's white and wears yellow chequered trousers?

Rupert the fridge.

 

[Psychobilly freakout]

What's got four legs and goes woof..... ?



Piper Alpha.

 

[mickybha]

insect flew in my window landed on the carpet and exploded.... it was a jihadi longlegs

 

[Matrix10]

What is green and always points north


A magnetic cucumber


What is green and hairy and goes up and down

A gooseberry in a lift

 

[Matrix10]

Mary had a little lamb
She kept in a bucket
Ever time the lamb got out
The bulldog tried to

put it back in again

 

[gjh1971]

I've got a step ladder at home. My real ladder left when I was 5

 

[pasty]

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out grandpas pyjamas?

Grandma

 

[The Upper Library]

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Fish

 

[symyjym]

I stopped a guy in the street and said, "Can you help me? I'm looking for a rubbish tip."

He said, "Palace to win the Premiership."

 

[Surrey_Albion]

There's a black fella... a Pakistani and a Jew having a drink in a nightclub. .....


What a fine example of an integrated community."

 

[Surrey_Albion]

I woke up this morning with a tap at the door

My plumber has a silly sense of humour

 

[Surrey_Albion]

Bon and the edge walk into a bar
The barman says "oh no, not u2"

 

[Norman Potting]

Man walked into a bar.

He had to go to A & E

,.............It was an iron bar.

 

[Lindfield by the Pond]

what do you call a deer with no eyes ?

no idea...( no eye deer )


what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs ?

Still no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no dick?

Still no f***in idea

 

[Grombleton]

Three men walk into a pub.

One of them has far too much to drink, and the whole scenario unfolds with a tedious inevitability...