withdeanwombat
Well-known member
Why can't you get pro cv shampoo in Poundland?
It's Pantene.
It's Pantene.
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Really crap, short jokes.
- Thread starter Soul Finger
- Start date
Barrel of Fun said:
seagull over sevenoaks
Active member
- Jul 14, 2003
- 398
two tv ariels got married. Ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
seagull over sevenoaks
Active member
- Jul 14, 2003
- 398
how do you get a fat girl into bed?
Piece of cake..
Piece of cake..
seagull over sevenoaks
Active member
- Jul 14, 2003
- 398
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
They charged one and let the other one off.
seagull over sevenoaks
Active member
- Jul 14, 2003
- 398
I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
tedebear
Legal Alien
hampden park said:man goes to a fancy dress party with just a jam jar over his knob.
woman asks him 'what have you come as?'
he replies 'a fireman, break the glass, pull the knob and i'll come as soon as possible
Brilliant!!
Who's working at MI5 on Christmas Day?
Mince spies!
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else!
seagull over sevenoaks
Active member
- Jul 14, 2003
- 398
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice...
ali jenkins
Thanks to Guinness Dave
seagull over sevenoaks said:
Jimmy Carr?
cannedheat
Banned
Why are Asprins smooth small round and white, with a line through.
Cos if they were big grey and wrinkly they would be Elephants.
Cos if they were big grey and wrinkly they would be Elephants.
Norman Potting
Well-known member
Really Crap, Short jokes
OK so this one is rather long but you could tell it to your chapel-going maiden aunt without fear of offence (unlike others here).
There was once a shepherd who looked after his sheep on the Downs near Falmer. He had a very gifted sheepdog called Shep. This dog was very special as, not only could it look after the sheep but it could talk as well! One day the shepherd said
"Shep old pal, please go and count up the sheep in the lower field. I bought them at Lewes market yesterday and I want to make sure that none are missing"
Shep ran off eagerly and soon returned with his tail wagging.
"I've counted the sheep and there are 50 there Mr Shepherd".
"50 - thats funny - I only bought 47"
"Thats o.k. Mr Shepherd, i've rounded them up for you as well"!!!
.....Well I find it funny.
OK so this one is rather long but you could tell it to your chapel-going maiden aunt without fear of offence (unlike others here).
There was once a shepherd who looked after his sheep on the Downs near Falmer. He had a very gifted sheepdog called Shep. This dog was very special as, not only could it look after the sheep but it could talk as well! One day the shepherd said
"Shep old pal, please go and count up the sheep in the lower field. I bought them at Lewes market yesterday and I want to make sure that none are missing"
Shep ran off eagerly and soon returned with his tail wagging.
"I've counted the sheep and there are 50 there Mr Shepherd".
"50 - thats funny - I only bought 47"
"Thats o.k. Mr Shepherd, i've rounded them up for you as well"!!!
.....Well I find it funny.
chez
Johnny Byrne-The Greatest
Two parrots on a perch. One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"
turienzo's lovechild
New member
- Oct 25, 2003
- 23,964
what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
being raped
being raped
Mr Burns
New member
Best joke of the night............... BRIGHTON POLICE
Soul Finger
Well-known member
- May 12, 2004
- 2,265
- Thread starter
- #56
The person who stole my diary has passed away.
My thoughts are with his family.
My thoughts are with his family.