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Really awkward moment at urinals last night!!



mcshane in the 79th

New member
Nov 4, 2005
10,485
Reminds me of a clip I saw on that Rude Tube programme on E4. Some bloke wandering at a festival comes out of a portaloo just a woman is presenting a TV piece showing the toliet facilities at the festival. He looks a bit surprised by this but proceeds to walk over to the urinal and WASH HIS HANDS in it and then uses a cake as soap. A good 5 seconds or so passes before he realises the error of his ways...
 










Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,779
Surrey
In that case he should have used the other outer urinal, not the middle one :facepalm:
This.

The ONLY possible excuse for taking the middle urinal is if BOTH outer urinals are in use. From the evidence presented to us here, this was never the case. And even if it was the case, this freak would have comfortably been on the final shakes before BtID rocked up for a slash, not stood there for 60 seconds staring at the wall.

The man was a total freak and quite frankly I'm struggling to believe that Green Cross Code Man is a MAN at all if he can't grasp this. :nono:
 




Brighton till i die

You havin' a bubble?
Jan 31, 2004
7,611
On the terraces!!
Have you considered that there may have been someone else using the outer urinal prior to this? Therefore the chap at the middle urinal may have just taken the next one and not disobeyed the rules;)

Yes i did consider that, but i saw him walk into the toilet about 15 seconds before me while i put my pint at the bar... i also noticed no-one else came out since he entered, and no-one else was in there when i arrived - it was plain f***ing stupid of him and i didnt appricate it!! :D
 


mcshane in the 79th

New member
Nov 4, 2005
10,485
The ONLY possible excuse for taking the middle urinal is if BOTH outer urinals are in use. From the evidence presented to us here, this was never the case. And even if it was the case, this freak would have comfortably been on the final shakes before BtID rocked up for a slash, not stood there for 60 seconds staring at the wall.

Even then chances are if the two outer ones were in use, then I'd walk out and come back in a few mins.

Some American or Canadian enjoying a beer garden? lol

:lolol:
 


Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,779
Surrey
Even then chances are if the two outer ones were in use, then I'd walk out and come back in a few mins.
It does depend on circumstance and this is where the rules become less clear.

In a pub, I'd tend to agree with you. However, in a clean office, why not take the sit down option in the cubicle (if available) and attempt the cheeky "curl one out" option?
 




Brighton till i die

You havin' a bubble?
Jan 31, 2004
7,611
On the terraces!!
This.

The ONLY possible excuse for taking the middle urinal is if BOTH outer urinals are in use. From the evidence presented to us here, this was never the case.

Even then chances are if the two outer ones were in use, then I'd walk out and come back in a few mins.

:lolol:

Even if you "had" to use the middle ones for the reason above, as soon as the other 2 chaps had gone i would try and "snip" my piss flow for a second while moving to one of the outer urinals, just incase someone walks in and see you therre just jamming in the middle one with no-one else present.

Cant believe this shit even happens!!
 


strings

Moving further North...
Feb 19, 2006
9,969
Barnsley
Yes i did consider that, but i saw him walk into the toilet about 15 seconds before me while i put my pint at the bar... i also noticed no-one else came out since he entered, and no-one else was in there when i arrived

So you watched him go into the toilet, and you followed him in? :ohmy:
 


mcshane in the 79th

New member
Nov 4, 2005
10,485
Even if you "had" to use the middle ones for the reason above, as soon as the other 2 chaps had gone i would try and "snip" my piss flow for a second while moving to one of the outer urinals, just incase someone walks in and see you therre just jamming in the middle one with no-one else present.

Cant believe this shit even happens!!

Most definitely, if you are lumbered with a poor choice of urinal and then one becomes free, then definitely hold fire and move to an outside lane. You have to wait for the other pissers to leave the room though and make sure you do it before anyone comes in. Tricky to do but the rewards are obvious
 




smudge

Up the Albion!
Jul 8, 2003
7,370
On the ocean wave
What about the crowded Gents situation? Anyone else had to "cross swords", usually in a cubicle? This is obviously a last resort when you are close to bursting, for example on a match day in a packed pub.

Usually carried out by chaps who already know each other; "cross swords" is often used by servicemen as code for sharing a bog (purely for pissing!)
 


8ace

Banned
Jul 21, 2003
23,811
Brighton
What about the crowded Gents situation? Anyone else had to "cross swords", usually in a cubicle? This is obviously a last resort when you are close to bursting, for example on a match day in a packed pub.

Usually carried out by chaps who already know each other; "cross swords" is often used by servicemen as code for sharing a bog (purely for pissing!)

crossed.jpg
 








Green Cross Code Man

Wunt be druv
Mar 30, 2006
20,538
Eastbourne
Yes i did consider that, but i saw him walk into the toilet about 15 seconds before me while i put my pint at the bar... i also noticed no-one else came out since he entered, and no-one else was in there when i arrived - it was plain f***ing stupid of him and i didnt appricate it!! :D

In that case, you are right, of course he was bang out of order!
 


Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
71,885
Slightly O/T, but has anybody noticed that fake snow like substance that coats the ceiling of the North Stand bogs? Presumably serves some kind of chemical purpose. Looks well weird, like Santa's Grotto gone wrong.
 










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