Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Steve Parish, Palace co-owner.
(On season ticket sales closing on 9,000). "I'm pleased with that. We'd obviously always like more, but I think that the fans have shown real loyalty to the club there. We'd love more, but we've got to give them a bit more. We need to drag people out of their living rooms and the shopping centres and we can do that in a variety of ways".
"We're working hard to get HD TV's round most of the concourses in the close season. We're improving the bars and the restaurants. The Players Lounge area will be a completely new bar and the whole experience will be uplifted, despite the prospect of some heavy defeats obviously. So we're doing a lot to to try and improve on and off the pitch, and hopefully that will move more people to come to the games".
"We're also looking at improving security at Selhurst Park. We had an unfortunate incident last weekend when a small group of tragically deformed, semi-literate urban croydonites, led by a drunken, unemployed beer-swilling troll with personal hygiene issues somehow managed to break into the ground. We found them at the back of the Arthur Wait stand clutching a series of childishly poor quality home-made banners, attempting to begin a chant about something being enormous or massive, but which rapidly degenerated into unintelligible gibberish, before they started fighting amongst themselves and crying".
"Fans can rest assured that these tragic individuals were swiftly removed from the premises and released back into the wild, where they were last seen shambling towards a well-known local crack den. We have since added new padlocks to our gates, although god alone knows why we bother trying to guard this embarrassing, delapidated, decrepid stinking old cesspit. Its like putting barbed wire around a turd. And yes, you can print that".
very good, had me up to the "prospect of some heavy defeats" bit.