NSC's help required:

[Dick Knights Mumm]

.... and in time little barnets - with yellow fleeces.

 

[Barnet Seagull]

I dare say so.

 

[Lush]

You think they'll be little? Let's hope the future Mrs Barnet has child-bearing hips.

 

[Seagullible]

"Yes it is", not "that it be". You don't have to talk to me like that, I'm not a tourist.

Two things must ye know of the wise woman. First shee is a WOMAN! and secondly, she is....

wise

oh you do know her then.

no, just a wild stab in the dark which is incidently what you'll be getting if you don't start being more helpful!

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Well done Baldrick. Take a short holiday.

There, did you enjoy it?.


Heavens be praised, a boy without a winkle!

 

[Rangdo]

It's the only way he's going to stop the e-mails and phone calls.

Or he could get a new email address and phone number

 

[Meade's Ball]

He could always do what Rene in Allo Allo did. Fake his death and return as his own twin brother with the same name (and the same dodgy eye after that tree hit him in the face).

Done.

 

[Meade's Ball]

Buggeration.

 

[Tesco in Disguise]

2 things must ye know of the wise woman...

 

[¡Cereal Killer!]

Say that he doesn't want to be in a proper relationship at the moment and is willing to remain friends with her, then gradually block her out.
Ignore emails (maybe change it and say your email address dont work for some reason and hasn't had time to fix it/make new address, when giving new email if he does, give her a fake address.)
Say your busy when she phones.
Ignore text messages 9say you dropped ya mobile down the toilet or got it nicked and is getting a new phone in a couple of weeks/months)
She will get bored and wont bother with him anymore.