NSC cool points

[Acker79]

Must remember "when NSC was good"

 

[Simster]

I can see two sides developing in this one

Be real world mates with Simster, Man of Harveys, Haans Kray fan Club and Kylies Stunt Arse and help them agree with each other's opinions.

That's right. There are normal blokes with a modicum of intelligence, and there are the inadequate types who get all misty eyed about football hooliganism when the odds were stacked in their favour, but were nowhere to be f***ing seen at Millwall in 1986 when bricks were being lobbed into the away end from outside with 20 minutes still to play.

 

[Tooting Gull]

What about Michael McIntyre? I'm tempted to say the 'cool' NSC poster thinks he's great. Again, I'm coming up short here.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Any potential signing mentioned must be slated as a reserve who's clearly not even good enough for his current side's first team so why are we even bothering. But you can ONLY do this if you've never actually seen or even heard of him before.

 

[Tooting Gull]

That's right. There are normal blokes with a modicum of intelligence, and there are the inadequate types who get all misty eyed about football hooliganism when the odds were stacked in their favour, but were nowhere to be f***ing seen at Millwall in 1986 when bricks were being lobbed into the away end from outside with 20 minutes still to play.

They're there for Orient, Chesterfield and Southend, though. Brave lads.

 

[Withdean Wanderer]

You must not be a complete invalid when finding your way to an away game.

You must think foreign players with gloves and an exotic name are "flair", regardless of how shit they are.

You must hate Man United.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I can see two sides developing in this one

Be real world mates with Simster, Man of Harveys, Haans Kray fan Club and Kylies Stunt Arse and help them agree with each other's opinions.

Amazingly, Billy, some people do actually HAVE real-life friends. Even more amazingly, often people end up friends with other people who share similar values. Not on everything, of course.

 

[Simster]

They're there for Orient, Chesterfield and Southend, though. Brave lads.

And mighty Aldershot. Don't forget them.

You must hate Man United.

I'd say that was the default position on NSC. Arguably cooler not to hate them.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Amazingly, Billy, some people do actually HAVE real-life friends. Even more amazingly, often people end up friends with other people who share similar values. Not on everything, of course.

I'm not sure I'd agree with that

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Do a lot of work for charidee.

Spend the weekends when its "your turn to have the kids" uploading videos of obscure 70's funk bands, roots reggae, and ironic 90's dance acts.

Putting Peter Ward up at your gaff when he pops over to support your unicycle ride through the Sahara Desert to raise money for the "Save the Orphaned Venezuelan Pygmy Palace Supporter" fund.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I'm not sure I'd agree with that

I wasn't counting Simster, obviously.

 

[Tooting Gull]

Amazingly, Billy, some people do actually HAVE real-life friends. .

That's SOOOOO 20th century.

 

[8ace]

You must drink Harveys and believe it is the best drink ever without question.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

This is great stuff. So far our identikit cool NSC poster is a multi-faceted Independent-reading ex football hooligan who never criticises the team. Anyone in mind yet? Keep em coming.

Independent reading? Guardian is the paper for all cool people...carefully folded and placed in the man-bag. On occassion I even read it. Mind you, I'll soon be sticking one of them new iPad fuckers in my bag. Totally a la mode Dadio.

 

[Taybha]

you must be able to find your way to london without the aid of a sexton or helpfull hints from others that dont know either.

 

[Mendoza]

You must Ask The Insider the most spaztastic of questions

You must not be able to tell the difference between "have" and "of" when using them in a sentence

 

[Tooting Gull]

You were big pals with Dick Knight and had lots of power breakfasts with him. But now Tony Bloom has taken over you're in a name-dropping vacuum.

 

[Mendoza]

If you accidentally meet other NSCers in real life, you must refer to them by their username because christian names do not exist

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

You must drink Harveys and believe it is the best drink ever without question.

And you must also sup this gnat's piss in a cyber pub called The NSC Arms, a place whose doors I have never felt cool enough to wander through.

 

[8ace]

You must frequent the Market Porter on a trip to the big smoke. And not any of the many better pubs around London Bridge station.