Novelty records Hall of Shame

[desprateseagull]

star trekking (the firm?)

we come in peace, shoot to kill
there's klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow..

 

[Lord Cornwallis]

Anyone remember 'Convoy'?
That shite song about the American trucking industry.

 

[wehatepalace]

Anyone remember 'Convoy'?
That shite song about the American trucking industry.

It's here

 

[Spiros]

What about Jilted John with Jilted John? Now that was a classic, remember the immortal line 'Gordon is a Moron'?

Spot on, though with lines like 'I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop' you're spoilt for choice.

Another one for me was a compilation of pub-singer favourites by some called Starstruck on 45 Pints, who did a piss-take of the crap 'Stars on 45' hits that were about in the early 80s. Apart from the pub singing you can hear loads of quality heckling in the background ' come on, give the lad a chance' and 'alright lads, the strippers back next week'. I've never been able to find it anywhere on the net - can anyone oblige?

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Anyone remember 'Convoy'?
That shite song about the American trucking industry.

Or the even shiter parody by Radio 1 'comedians' Dave Lee Travis and Paul Burnett.

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

I have no idea who the singer was but I do recall my childhood being blighted by some precocious brat on Saturday Superstore singing "It's Horrible Being In Love When You're Eight & A Half"

Sadly I can confirm that without even searching the web this was performed by 'Claire and Friends' who I believe were an offshoot of the St Winifred's School Choir of 'There's no one quite like Grandma' infamy and who featured Coronation Street Actress and Peter Kay best friend Sally Lindsay

However, I can't believe that we are three pages into novelty record and not a mention of the Barron Knights - a band who made their entire career out of novelty records and who had top 20 hits in the seventies and eighties.

 

[NMH]

Calling Bridget The Midget "the queen of the blues" was quite a slap in the face to Mama Thornton, Koko Taylor or Sister Rosetta Tharpe

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Re: Re: Novelty records Hall of Shame

Sadly I can confirm that without even searching the web this was performed by 'Claire and Friends' who I believe were an offshoot of the St Winifred's School Choir of 'There's no one quite like Grandma' infamy and who featured Coronation Street Actress and Peter Kay best friend Sally Lindsay

The fact that you got that without even googling it is quite shocking




Thanks to you, I have just located said song on everyhit.com, which is apparently correctly titled "It's 'Orrible Being In Love (When You're 8 1/2)", and reached the dizzy heights of #13 in 1986. It was indeed on Saturday Superstore, with Mike Read and Sarah Greene. Bit different from Ant & Dec...

The song, obviously, sucks

 

[Golden Oldie]

Don't knock Convoy - I've got it as my ringtone!!!

 

[Golden Oldie]

.....but on the other hand, if you really want to plunge the depths, how come no one has mentioned Rolf Harris so far.
Sun Arise, Tie me kangaroo down sport, or the ultimate, Two Little Boys - (one of them is now known as Billy Sharp)

 

[dougdeep]

The birdie song and Aggado make me cringe.

 

[Yorkie]

.....but on the other hand, if you really want to plunge the depths, how come no one has mentioned Rolf Harris so far.
Sun Arise, Tie me kangaroo down sport,

I loved those.
In fact I quite like novelty songs.

 

[SussexSpur]

I do like the re-recording of "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" that Rolf did with The Beatles.

Cut your hair once a year, boys,
Cut your hair once a year
If it covers your ears you can't hear, boys
So cut your hair once a year

CHORUS:
All together now
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down WOOOOO
Tie me kangaroo down sport
Tie me kangaroo down

"i forget the words now...take care of me, make sure, look after me...keep goin...." etc

Don't ill-treat me pet dingo, Ringo
Don't ill-treat me pet dingo
They cant understand your lingo, Ringo
So don't ill-treat me pet dingo

CHORUS

I think George's guitar's on the blink i think
George's guitar's on the blink
It shouldnt go MMMMNNGA MMMMNGAAA MMMNGA PLINK
Now its really on the blink!

CHORUS

Prop me up on the wall, Paul
Prop me up by the wall,
I'll scream and cheer til i fall, Paul
If you prop me up on the wall

CHORUS

Keep the hits coming on, John
Keep the hits coming on
At least until after I'm gone, John
Keep the hits coming on

CHORUS

And with this very last gasp, he says
"Tan me hide when death comes, chums,
Tan me hide when death comes
.....
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde,
And ringo's got it on his drums!

All together now...
CHORUS

 

[Lady Whistledown]

What about THIS?

"You don't have to act like a great big star
Just be yourself, be who you are
Just say no (NO!)
Just say no
Just say no (no)
Just say no"
etc


Remember kids: don't do drugs or you'll end up like Zammo

 

[Ernest]

What about THIS?

"You don't have to act like a great big star
Just be yourself, be who you are
Just say no (NO!)
Just say no
Just say no (no)
Just say no"
etc


Remember kids: don't do drugs or you'll end up like Zammo

I'd have f***ed the arse right off Zammos girlfriend

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I'd have f***ed the arse right off Zammos girlfriend

There was once apparently an album with Keith Chegwin's name on which I gather is meant to be an ironic nod to the art of the novelty record, and which features amongst others

Damian- Time Warp
Rednex- Cotton Eye Joe
Los Del Rio- Macarena
Samantha Fox- Touch Me (I Want Your Body)- not sure if she thought of it as a novelty record at the time, but there you go



But I think, following this research, I've just found easily the WORST, most shameful embarrassment to the British music buying public ever: ladies & gentleman, I give you...Orville's Song

 

[Juan Albion]

There was once apparently an album with Keith Chegwin's name on which I gather is meant to be an ironic nod to the art of the novelty record, and which features amongst others

Damian- Time Warp
Rednex- Cotton Eye Joe
Los Del Rio- Macarena
Samantha Fox- Touch Me (I Want Your Body)- not sure if she thought of it as a novelty record at the time, but there you go

Must confess to having that one. Thanks bruv.

 

[Ernest]

I'm sure Samantha Fox had two big hits

 

[Beach Hut]

We used to sing just say yes to Zammos record

 

[Ernest]

We used to sing just say yes to Zammos record

I'm not surprised