My most hated commentary cliche

[Badger]

"He hit that TOO well" always gets me. No he didn't. He hit it wrong and missed.

That's up there with "He couldn't have hit that any better", but I can't see him running to the crowd and celebrating, oh wait, it didn't go in.


Another one that gets me is when they call the lower league team "brave" as if playing a premiership club is like going out to war

 

[house your seagull]

in The Sun on saturday morning, the headline above the Albion article was 'Martin, Show Us Some Respect"

*vomits*

 

[perth seagull]

"I think the referee got it wrong there" or "poor decision by the referee". The commentator has the benefit of numerous TV replays while the referee has to make quick on the spot decisions. It's easy to be a smug twat but if you were the referee, then maybe you wouldn't be such a smart arse.

 

[Playing On The Grit]

Snooker is probably worse than football, especially when Willie Thorne is commentating. Everybody is "probably the world's best.." something or other.

Ronnie O'Sullivan is "probably the best long potter in the world at the moment". "John Higgins is probably the world's best tactitian at the moment". "Stephen Maguire is probably the world's best player with a bum shaped chin at the moment". "There's Mark Selby, probably the world's best player with a nickname conveniently fashioned from the name of his home city and outlook on life and he really showed it with that shot, didn't he John".

And John f***ing Virgo...so f***ing miserable and always picking holes in every shot. I'd love to see how he would get on playing the world's best long potter, what with his one tournament victory in the 1981 Lada Classic or whatever it was! Who the f*** are you to pass judgement??!!

 

[The Large One]

For a penalty claim - 'well, there was contact there...'

 

[Publius Ovidius]

"he is fantastic with either feet".....good, otherwise he would fall over or walk around in circles all day.

 

[Acker79]

I hate that "he got the ball" when a ref awards a foul. Or "It's a striker's tackle/challenge" or "Typical scholes challenge".

 

[Dirty Dave]

the studio were discussing a potential penalty inncident in the Villa v Blackburn game (I think) last week.

One of the pundits said if the inncident happended outside the area it would be a free kick. But he went on to say it WAS a foul in the box but should NOT have been a penalty.

WTF.......

 

[Icy Gull]

Lowly Brighton

 

[Acker79]

the studio were discussing a potential penalty inncident in the Villa v Blackburn game (I think) last week.

One of the pundits said if the inncident happended outside the area it would be a free kick. But he went on to say it WAS a foul in the box but should NOT have been a penalty.

WTF.......

inspired by that... there's a tendency for commentators to say "he can only give it [a penalty] if he's 100% sure". Fine, ok. So why do you also say "if that's not a penalty, surely he should be booked for diving?!" Perhaps the ref is 95% sure it's a penalty, should he book someone for something he's only 5% (at most if you factor in momentum, fair challenge, etc as other explanations for a collision) sure he did?

Or worse, when they go on and on about one incident in which the ref didn't give a penalty or yellow card for diving, then later in the season, or even later in the game, someone gets booked for diving in the area and the commentators then turn around and say "you know, just because it's not a penalty doesn't mean he was diving".

That really gets on my tits.

 

[Jim D]

Early doors - what does that mean? I suppose the earliest door was a rock in front of a cave.

 

[FamilyGuy]

"....won a penalty"

Anybody who thinks that Penalties are there to be "won" is a cheat!

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

"you would have wanted that chance to have fallen to any other player but Titus bramble in that position"

what, like the goal keeper or David buust?

 

[Wilko]

Why do players refer to their club in full when stating they want to do well there:

Defoe: 'Y'know, I just want to do my best for Tottenham Hotspur football club'

Gerrard: 'errmm, yeah, errm, just doing me best for Liverpool football club'

Do we really need the football club bit at the end?

 

[Twinkle Toes]

Motson's 'commentary' - & specifically when he does that sodding little laugh-thing: just before coming out with something that he alone thinks is amusing.

 

[mcshane in the 79th]

Motson's 'commentary' - & specifically when he does that sodding little laugh-thing: just before coming out with something that he alone thinks is amusing.

Just John Motson full stop

 

[Twinkle Toes]

Just John Motson full stop

Good point. Well made.

 

[vegster]

I just hate it when players keep saying "you know" repeatedly during interviews, the worst offender is Peter Crouch...no Peter I don't sodding know, I was hoping your vocabulary would be large enough to tell me, sadly it isn't!

Sorry, the worst offender is Beckham by a country mile. He even manages to slip the occasional double in which is real class.... " You Know You Know ?"

 

[Tooting Gull]

Why do players refer to their club in full when stating they want to do well there:

Defoe: 'Y'know, I just want to do my best for Tottenham Hotspur football club'

Gerrard: 'errmm, yeah, errm, just doing me best for Liverpool football club'

Do we really need the football club bit at the end?

I reckon its to improve their ratio of 'number of words spoken in total' to 'number of words without saying something stupid'. For example, in Defoe's case above, he might have filled the three-extra-word void with something like 'I want out', or 'Keane is shithouse'. 'Hotspur football club' is much safer.