My FAVOURITE coffee-related joke of August 2012

[Don Tmatter]

No one here ever read Viz ? Thought the Eastbourne Airshow was last week?

 

[Super Steve Earle]

I saw Bonnie Tyler walking around town this morning looking a bit confused.
"You ok Bonnie ?" I asked. "Yes I'm fine thanks" she replied.
But I ordered a creamy white coffee in Starbucks and they gave me a straight black.
Don't worry I said, it was just a Total Eclipse of the Latte!

 

[SeagullSongs]

I don't get it, anyone explain?

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

I was feeling very tired today but this thread has really PERKED me up.

 

[hart's shirt]

Ah, Kim Wilde.

Even though she's getting on a bit, I'd still grind 'er. I bet she's gaggiaing for a slow roasting.

 

[bhafc99]

This thread is NeSCafe Gold.

 

[Poyetry In Motion]

I was walking across Wessex in the 9th century and bumped into the King. He showed me a newpaper with lots of numbers under the title "New York Stock Exchange".
" What is this? " the King asked me
" It's the Dow, Egbert " I replied

 

[Bry Nylon]

I was on holiday in Scotland last year when I saw Bonnie Tyler walking around looking a bit confused.
"You ok Bonnie?" I asked.
"Yes I'm fine thanks" she replied. "I'm just looking for somewhere to sit down and have a coffee".
"Well, I don't think you'll find a Nero around here," I said, recalling it to be her favourite coffee-shop chain.
"That's okay," she replied, "I'm looking for the Loch Ness Café."

 

[Fountainhead]

Some these jokes are criminal.........Im calling my Barista

 

[hart's shirt]

I was on holiday in Scotland last year when I saw Bonnie Tyler walking around looking a bit confused.
"You ok Bonnie?" I asked.
"Yes I'm fine thanks" she replied. "I'm just looking for somewhere to sit down and have a coffee".
"Well, I don't think you should walk around and waste precious drinking time. Just go to a Cafedirect.'

 

[MattBackHome]

I was backstage at a Bonnie Tyler gig once and I after she came off stage following a typically throaty performance of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" I saw a man chatting to her, then run off and rush back a couple of minutes later with an espresso. Her face fell...

"No," she exclaimed, "when you asked me what I felt like I said: 'A little COUGHY'"

HONK.

 

[BensGrandad]

This is said to be true and happened in the Cafe Royal

Waiter to Sammy Davis Jnr: How do you take your coffee Sir.

SD Jnr : Like my women strong and sweet

Waiter: Is that Black or White Sir.

 

[Bry Nylon]

I bumped into Bonnie Tyler at London zoo last week. She was stood, gazing silently at a far-off flock of pink flamingos.
"Such peaceful creatures," I observed, nodding toward the shimmering lake.
"Yes," she agreed. "I love mellow birds."

 

[Bry Nylon]

I was leaving the AMEX the other Tuesday night after the Reading game when I saw Bonnie Tyler walking around looking a bit confused.
I was a little surprised, to say the least, having recently bumped into her at London Zoo and before that in Scotland.
"Are you looking for somewhere to get a coffee, Bonnie?" I asked, pointing towards the nearest kiosk.
"No I'm f***ing not!" she replied in her hallmark husky tones. "It's gone up 11.1% since last season. It's not the money I object to so much - after all, I made a shit load in the '80s; its the fact that if anything the service is worse than last year and I feel like I'm being taken for granted. I think I'll just get a train back into town and get a coffee there."

I couldn't really argue with that. I doubt I shall see her again.

 

[The Sock of Poskett]

Bumped into Kim Wilde the other week. Really should have looked where I was going.
I said: "Have you got your son home for the holidays?"
She replied: "No, the kid's in America. Woa-oh."

I'll get me coat.

 

[Easy 10]

Samuel L. Jackson approves of the observations on this thread

 

[Hatman1234]

Samuel L. Jackson approves of the observations on this thread

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSHWuhUVa8-lcQXkr2qoG21QlHSrNqVxlopJQ1GbDiJnclYBhTSBA

So does Brian Blessed.

 

[Poyetry In Motion]

I bumped into Bonnie Tyler in Paris last week. She was holding a map and looking very confused
I said " Hello Miss Tyler, how are you? "
She said, " Fine thankyou, but I'm lost in France "



I know it's not coffee related, but it's still got Bonnie Tyler in the joke, so it must be worth something...