My 10-point plan for Wimbledon coverage to make it relevant

[Scampi]

Have they wasted it?

I imagine there's some incredibly well lined pockets, out there, that would disagree.

Was listening to some foreign coach last year. He was saying that the trouble with the lta is it dishes out the money to the clubs with the best facilites not by success. So the money follows money and there is no incentive to produce players or increase participation.

 

[Badger]

Hilarity on Centre Court, Andre Agassi is in the Royal Box and someone in the crowd shouted out "Come on Agassi", such JAPES.

 

[pasty]

and stop this bloody stupid fist pumping action players, coaches and mums appear to do every time Murray wins a point!

 

[Brownstuff]

Someone tell Tsonga that he looks a prick when he does his twirl after a victory

 

[Colossal Squid]

Hilarity on Centre Court, Andre Agassi is in the Royal Box and someone in the crowd shouted out "Come on Agassi", such JAPES.

You mean they DIDN'T use his first team in a faux-colloquial manner?

As in "come on Tim/Andy" etc.

 

[brakespear]

Make it about a sport that is actually even slightly interesting

 

[Rich Suvner]

I actually like tennis, at its best it is a great sport with two people putting it all out there a bit gladiatorial-like.

But the Wimbledon coverage makes me cringe, and I think probably puts off millions more sporty kids than it attracts. It is the epitome of 'uncool'. The whole aim is targeting middle-class women viewers from the Shires. We know kids from less privileged backgrounds with ability are choosing other sports.

So here it is.

1) Ditch Sue Barker immediately. She isn't that bad a broadcaster, but has come to symbolise the establishment, and is way too twee.
2) Ban all people involved in All England Club (eg Tim Henman) from being involved in punditry while still in that role. Too cosy.
3) Put a rocket up the journalists' arse. What is the biggest story to come out this year - another Centre/No1 Court controversy? They need to remember their job, dig deeper, and ruffle some feathers/create headlines.
4) A major overhaul of Barker's support cast. John Lloyd, Virginia Wade etc. McEnroe puts most to shame with his insight and lack of craven respect for authority.
5) Stop obsessing about British losers in early rounds, and concentrate more on the best players in the world.
6) There is more to talk about than the weather.
7) Clare Balding should stick to horses.
8) I couldn't give a shite which royals are in attendance.
9) Have some better features about success (or failure) of tennis at grass roots
10) Ask some proper questions about how LTA has wasted all the millions it gets.

ON THE MONEY

Balding and Barker are like annoying aunts - familiar but irritating

 

[Rich Suvner]

You mean they DIDN'T use his first team in a faux-colloquial manner?

As in "come on Tim/Andy" etc.

The 'come on Tim' shouts when Murray was playing a few years back were priceless though.

 

[Husty]

1) On Breakfast in the morning: Fine that weather girl heavily if she ever, EVER again opens her piece with some completely irrelevant piece of gushing shite about how many people can sit around CENTER court, how long the roof takes to close, how much it cost or how much if f***ing weighs, NO ONE f***ing CARES.

2) NEVER, EVER interview ****ish 'celebrities' like Ryan Giggs who clearly know SWEET f*** all about tennis just because they were there, find some people who play and understand the game and interview THEM.

3) Take Andrew Castle out to a field somewhere, stick a black a sack over his head, tie his hands behind his back, kick him in the balls and shoot him in the head, it's the least the odious twat deserves. Makes me want to kill myself EVERY time his smug face or his dickish voice appears or COMES out of my television.

I absolutely love the sport but I'm sick to death of the absolutely pitiful coverage from the BBC, most of the cast are incompetent as you rightly pointed out in the opening post and they completely ruin the experience. I agree that it's all far too cozy between the BBC and LTA/Club. Get some people in who are not associated with the club or the LTA and it'd make for a much better show.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Someone tell Tsonga that he looks a prick when he does his twirl after a victory

Only in tennis is a player labelled a "character" because he jumps in the air when he wins. So lame. I like Wimbledon, but Tooting is right that the coverage is cringeworthy

To improve matters I would suggest

(1) At the end of each set, the winner of the set gets to smack five balls as hard as he can at the Royal Box
(2) Sid Waddell to take over commentary with immediate effect
(3) Ball boys & girls to be scrapped, so the players have to get their own f***ing balls
(4) Line judges & umpires also to be scrapped, so players get to shout "OUT" when it's anywhere near their baseline.

I think that would work

 

[The Brighton Bear]

They should remove that net and cut it in half and drape it over a wooden frame at each end of the court. Instead of one-a-side they should bring ten more players on each side. Of course the court would have to be made much bigger to allow for this and the ball would have to be bigger too.

Everyone using rackets would be far too dangerous so we should get rid of them and allow the players to kick the ball instead.

I think I may be on to something here.

 

[Pavilionaire]

They should introduce a third category - Mens, Ladies and Monkey. If the Beeb won't cover it Sky will.

 

[Seasider78]

I have to agree with the OP this is an elite tournament yet the tennis seems to take a back seat to strawberries and cream, murrays mount, people who have camped for 3 weeks to get in and hours of opinion on how to succeed courtesy of Britains endless conveyer belt of failure

 

[Badger]

The 'come on Tim' shouts when Murray was playing a few years back were priceless though.

There was an amusing Tweet on the BBC text updates:

C'mon Tim!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *Muffled gunshot* @ MrAndrewCotter

 

[The Buttery Biscuit Base]

ON THE MONEY

Balding and Barker are like annoying aunts - familiar but irritating

I don't watch 'A Question Of Sport' because of that annoying, wrinkly old bag! Does my head in!

 

[The Buttery Biscuit Base]

They should introduce a third category - Mens, Ladies and Monkey. If the Beeb won't cover it Sky will.

Alan Partridge to present it? That would be right up his strasse, and he was the first to suggest it!

 

[pauli cee]

why don't they just show the secret vid of tim and sue before the matches instead of the warm up?

 

[Lady Whistledown]

But Balding does look like a crescent moon and that's just too freaky for TV.

Tim Henman and Andrew Castle are a pair of freaks too but I don't see anyone complaining.

 

[disgruntled h blocker]

Was listening to some foreign coach last year. He was saying that the trouble with the lta is it dishes out the money to the clubs with the best facilites not by success. So the money follows money and there is no incentive to produce players or increase participation.

Sorry, this is total bollocks. The LTA has been handing out development grants to sports clubs for years. Near where I live, they have part-funded indoor tennis courts and improved coaching for kids and adults alike, and if the funding is at private members clubs, the grants are only given out on the proviso that the facilities are open to all, and are advertised as such