METROsexual NO. RETROsexual YES. VOTE NOW.

[Braders]

At any given moment in time, you don't know what colour socks you are wearing?

to be honest if I find out later (after checking) that they match I consider it a good day!

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

At any given moment in time, you don't know what colour socks you are wearing?

They probably ask that so you get at least 1 point...

 

[Mendoza]

1. gay men come onto me
2.Use conditioner or moisturiser
3.Carry a manbag
4.I know what colour socks I'm wearing
5.know what a manicure etc involves
8.Shave any part of my body
9.KNow my hairdresser's name

 

[Safeway]

I'm wearing my Michael Jackson socks today.

 

[The Large One]

found this on an article for it

Retrosexual rules of physical contact
A firmly-gripped hand and two shakes are permitted on meeting or departing.
One congratulatory hearty slap on the back is permitted after a birth/divorce announcement or a score of more than a hundred at darts.
Sporting congratulations can consist of either of the above or a small ruffle of the hair (A playful exchange of small punches can be OK, but steer clear of wrestling, leg entanglement or any grappling which brings the faces into close proximity.)
When officially accepted as being drunk, a man can hug, lick and kiss any other man - provided he apologises within 12 hours of sobering up.
The Retrosexual man's checklist for decision making
Will anyone die?
Do I care?

Retrosexual shopping basket
Box of 12 cans of lager
Bottle of Jack Daniel's
Two ready meal curries - extra hot
Two tins of Heinz beans
Two Pot Noodles
Large bag of potatoes
One large steak
Toilet rolls
Large slab of economy cheddar cheese
PG Tips tea bags
Six eggs

First date rules for a Retrosexual
Say something nice about her looks but in a way that shows a lack of understanding: "That's a nice badge, brooch-type thing you're wearing."
If she starts banging on about stuff that doesn't interest you, the general rule is nod twice and smile at 20-second intervals.
Be assertive. Be prepared to order for her at the restaurant and try to send some element of your meal back to show you mean business.


The Retrosexual guide to sex
Foreplay. Get her to send a text when she's ready. You'll be down the pub.
Matchoftheday Interruptus. The opening bars of MOTD's theme tune overheard on a telly while doing the business has put many a retrosexual bloke off his stroke. Try to blot it out and hurry up with the job in hand.
Post-coital behaviour. The retrosexual man must never:
1. Whisper: "I'm sorry."
2. Cry.
3. Declare undying love. Instead assume a silent reverie. (Picturing a freshly cooked full English will help.)

Is this stuff considered retro?

Shit, I must sit way outside of time.

 

[Wilko]

1. gay men come onto me
2.Use conditioner or moisturiser
3.Carry a manbag
4.I know what colour socks I'm wearing
5.know what a manicure etc involves
8.Shave any part of my body
9.KNow my hairdresser's name

I bet you have used a bit of katie's moisturiser, lip balm, sun tan lotion or hair stuff at least once Brettles. Come on, you can get it to ten out of ten.


I am a bit confused by the commando thing though, why is that metro?

 

[Mendoza]

I bet you have used a bit of katie's moisturiser, lip balm, sun tan lotion or hair stuff at least once Brettles. Come on, you can get it to ten out of ten.


I am a bit confused by the commando thing though, why is that metro?

g'warn then

1. gay men come onto me
2.Use conditioner or moisturiser
3.Carry a manbag
4.I know what colour socks I'm wearing
5.know what a manicure etc involves
8.Shave any part of my body
9.KNow my hairdresser's name
10.Borrow toiletries or clothes from gf

 

[SirDouglasLoft]

What about if you don't wear socks? Does that count as number 4, as you know you are not wearing any?

WELL?

 

[Lady Whistledown]

10/10 - PROPER metro me.

Can I just add that when TMLS, Ponce Mohammed Buzzer and I go on holiday

To Mykonos, right? Or South Beach?

 

[Bozza]

What about if you don't wear socks? Does that count as number 4, as you know you are not wearing any?

WELL?

I'm not sure it means NOW. More, in general, do you know what colour socks you are wearing, when you are wearing some.

 

[Bozza]

I bet you have used a bit of katie's moisturiser, lip balm, sun tan lotion or hair stuff at least once Brettles. Come on, you can get it to ten out of ten.

Sounds like you're being more than a bit tenuous if you'd consider a splodge of sun tan lotion as an indication of metro-ism.

 

[SULLY COULDNT SHOOT]

4 but that because of two halves..... I dont care what colour my socks are but am careful when choosing them or the wife goes nuts. And I dont know his name but I do talk to my barber.

Ive said yes to manbag but have only just started using one simply because its handy when Im out with the little one... just too much to carry. Where am I gonna carry a waterbottle?

 

[Publius Ovidius]

If she starts banging on about stuff that doesn't interest you, the general rule is nod twice and smile at 20-second intervals.

I think we have all been here

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

10/10 - PROPER metro me.

Can I just add that when TMLS, Ponce Mohammed Buzzer and I go on holiday it is Mr.Meola that has the biggest bag, the most clothes for all types of weather, all folded neat and tidy. How metro is that?

A few t-shirts, shorts and flip flops in a little ruck sack for me.

Nothing WRONG with being PREPARED. Any REAL man would and SHOULD.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

As many of you know I HATE all that is so called METROsexual so I am going to purchase this book and RECLAIM when men were men

And then turn up to the first home game in a pink & white striped women's fit Albion shirt.

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

And then turn up to the first home game in a pink & white striped women's fit Albion shirt.

I DEMAND PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.

Oh...

 

[Mendoza]

we both have the new pink kit now, so it's time for an updated photo

the new pink kit is well nice innit

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I DEMAND PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.

Oh...

Rumble looks the most metro in that picture

 

[Lady Whistledown]

we both have the new pink kit now, so it's time for an updated photo

the new pink kit is well nice innit

Will you be wearing it TONIGHT?

 

[Mendoza]

Will you be wearing it TONIGHT?

No, its SUSSEX, not the ALBION. I dont wear Albion to Sussex, thats whel giegh

The SHARK is coming though, see ya down there!