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[Albion] Mathematically safe



Lady Whistledown

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
48,298
And he'll get to A&E and tell them he was just trying to open a bottle of champagne with his buttocks and "that's how the cork ended up there, nurse", and they'll nod in a poker faced manner and go "Uh-huh, OK" like they do with all such admissions.
Just to be clear, I know this not from personal experience :lol: but because some years ago I was in A & E with a one of our service users, and I was bored so I asked a nurse exactly how common it was for patients to be admitted with items stuck either in or on them.

And she told me it happens all the time, and they always say it was accidental and they fell on it, and whatever it was they were doing to accidentally fall on it, they always happened to be naked at the time :lol:
 




Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,953
Playing snooker
That's it then - the season's over.

The players are going to be on the beach.

I'm not sure i can be arsed with any more games - see you all in August.
Do you want me to switch off the lights and unplug the random Infraction generator?
 


Lady Whistledown

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
48,298


A1X

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 1, 2017
22,020
Deepest, darkest Sussex
Definitely worth an acknowledgment no matter what else is going on. Always remember where you’ve come from.

We will now play a minimum of 9 consecutive seasons in the Premier League. NINE. That will put us joint 20th in the list of longest PL spells*, alongside Coventry and Leicester. We will be ahead in terms of total number of seasons in the PL* of Massive, #Twats, Sheffield United, Charlton, Wigan and Watford.


*Yes, football didn’t start in 1992 blah blah whatever
 








Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
54,920
Goldstone
Just to be clear, I know this not from personal experience :lol: but because some years ago I was in A & E with a one of our service users, and I was bored so I asked a nurse exactly how common it was for patients to be admitted with items stuck either in or on them.

And she told me it happens all the time, and they always say it was accidental and they fell on it, and whatever it was they were doing to accidentally fall on it, they always happened to be naked at the time :lol:

I'm making a promise to myself that if that ever happens to me (and I neither confirm nor deny that it could), I'll have the guts to tell them I was trying to get myself off.
 


ManOfSussex

We wunt be druv
Apr 11, 2016
15,470
Rape of Hastings, Sussex
If Bushy suddenly appears in the middle of the Brighton Station Memories thread, all wild-eyed and sweary with some on-lines scores to settle, you’ll know what’s happened
Rangers won the old firm derby today, so careful what you wish for.
 




nickbrighton

Well-known member
Feb 19, 2016
2,344
If Ipswich and Leicester get no more points-which is not only possible, but even likely, and Southampton don't somehow get 10 more points we were actually safe after the City game on 9th November after 11 games. Have we ever been safe, in any division that early before?
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
58,856
Faversham
Just to be clear, I know this not from personal experience :lol: but because some years ago I was in A & E with a one of our service users, and I was bored so I asked a nurse exactly how common it was for patients to be admitted with items stuck either in or on them.

And she told me it happens all the time, and they always say it was accidental and they fell on it, and whatever it was they were doing to accidentally fall on it, they always happened to be naked at the time :lol:
Forty five years ago I worked for a publisher (Derwent publications) where I converted science and medicine research papers into abstracts for a system known as Ringdoc.

One job was abstracting a volume of a surgery journal. One paper was about dealing with anal injuries and unusual 'lost items' reported as 'accident'.
There were the standard 'I was doing the vacuum cleaning in the nude, and' case reports.
But one involved the removal of a garden implement from the bum of a bloke who claimed he had fallen out of a tree while birdwatching in the nude,
and landed on said object as he hit the ground.
I can tell you that this caused much hilarity at the offices of Derwent publications that day.

This, only a couple of years after my flatmate had genuinely torn himself a new one,
after slipping when climbing over a spiked fence, when taking a short cut to get the bus into college.
 


Eeyore

Munching grass in Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
27,714
Forty five years ago I worked for a publisher (Derwent publications) where I converted science and medicine research papers into abstracts for a system known as Ringdoc.

One job was abstracting a volume of a surgery journal. One paper was about dealing with anal injuries and unusual 'lost items' reported as 'accident'.
There were the standard 'I was doing the vacuum cleaning in the nude, and' case reports.
But one involved the removal of a garden implement from the bum of a bloke who claimed he had fallen out of a tree while birdwatching in the nude,
and landed on said object as he hit the ground.
I can tell you that this caused much hilarity at the offices of Derwent publications that day.

This, only a couple of years after my flatmate had genuinely torn himself a new one,
after slipping when climbing over a spiked fence, when taking a short cut to get the bus into college.
Ouch
 








ROSM

Well-known member
Dec 26, 2005
7,315
Just far enough away from LDC
There is a story (possibly apocryphal) of a southern television/ tvs newsreader who apparently presented at a&e with an injury caused by peeling potatoes in a bath, whilst nude, when he fell on one which became lodged inside him
 




ROSM

Well-known member
Dec 26, 2005
7,315
Just far enough away from LDC
There is a story (possibly apocryphal) of a southern television/ tvs newsreader who apparently presented at a&e with an injury caused by peeling potatoes in a bath, whilst nude, when he fell on one which became lodged inside him
I've just googled this and the top report come from, you've guessed it, NSC from 2006. It also contains reference to the same newsreader having a toothbrush stuck there whilst trying to relieve a troublesome itch!
 


Bozza

You can change this
Helpful Moderator
Jul 4, 2003
58,178
Back in Sussex
There is a story (possibly apocryphal) of a southern television/ tvs newsreader who apparently presented at a&e with an injury caused by peeling potatoes in a bath, whilst nude, when he fell on one which became lodged inside him
We’ve all done it.

If I had a Pound for every time…
 




Blackadder

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 6, 2003
16,143
Haywards Heath
Both our teams safe in their respective (Top) leagues.

That's what I call "Marvellous Scenes"
 






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