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bhaexpress

New member
Jul 7, 2003
27,627
Kent
Tony Meolas Loan Spell said:
Is he the one next to Phil Macavity the Scottish Dentist??

No that's the gay Scotsman with his mate Ben Dune.
 








Tony Meolas Loan Spell

Slut Faced Whores
Jul 15, 2004
18,068
Vamanos Pest
A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips.

Cat Deeley Introduces him as Simon. 'It's very brave of you to come out here,' says Cat. 'Please tell the audience what happened?'

'Well' replies Simon 'about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident.

Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free.' 'The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs.'


'That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?
'asks Cat.


'No Cat, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died, but that his legs were fine and with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine.

As you can see the operation was successful.


I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year. A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.

Cat responds with: 'That's an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?'


'Tonight, I am going to be Simon and Halfuncle'
 


Commander said:
Why is it Ok to laugh at the way Chinese people speak, but not at the way Muslims' dress?

Who has said that it is or isn't? The people posting mildly racist jokes aimed at Chinese/ Irish etc are not the same people suggesting that the muslim jokes were wrong. NSC is not one person you know...
 




Commander

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Apr 28, 2004
13,378
London
Lokki 7 said:
Who has said that it is or isn't? The people posting mildly racist jokes aimed at Chinese/ Irish etc are not the same people suggesting that the muslim jokes were wrong. NSC is not one person you know...

Noone has said that it isn't. That is my point.
 


Commander said:
Noone has said that it isn't. That is my point.

Ah I see. Sorry, misunderstood you, fair point. But personally I think that's taking the argument a bit far. Native Chinese do have a few pronunciation problems with English, as the English do with Chinese (I would imagine). Not quite the same as saying all Chinese are parcel bombers though really is it?
 


Commander

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Apr 28, 2004
13,378
London
Lokki 7 said:
Ah I see. Sorry, misunderstood you, fair point. But personally I think that's taking the argument a bit far. Native Chinese do have a few pronunciation problems with English, as the English do with Chinese (I would imagine). Not quite the same as saying all Chinese are parcel bombers though really is it?

No it's not, but to be fair I was referring to the veil / letterbox joke rather than the parcel bomb one- that's why I mentioned laughing at the way Muslims' dress.

And my pronunciation of Chinese is faultless- 27, 123, 46 and a 19.
 




Moshe Gariani

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2005
12,157
Tony Meolas Loan Spell said:
'Tonight, I am going to be Simon and Halfuncle'
:lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol: :lolol:
 


PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,299
Hurst Green
One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, - "Buffalo Come!"

And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"

Tonto replied, - "Ear stuck to ground..."
 


PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,299
Hurst Green
A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas shopping, and sees a parrot for sale. He asks the clerk what the parrot's name is and the clerk tells him it's Chet. He also tells the man that this is one amazing parrot. If you put a match under his left foot, it sings "Jingle Bells," and if you put a match under its left foot, it sings "Deck the Halls."
The man thinks that is the coolest thing he's ever seen, so he decides to buy it for his wife. So he gets home, and puts it away. Then he wonders what will happen if he puts it a match between its legs, so he tries it, and the parrot starts singing "Chet's nuts roasting over an open fire..."
 




PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,299
Hurst Green
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
 


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