Fourteenth Eye
Face for Radio
The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a
> survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some
> basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is
> to go down to the woods and catch a rabbit for their supper,
> returning with it ready to skin and cook.
>
> Night falls.
>
> First up - the SAS. They don infra red goggles, drop to the ground
> and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5
> minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their
> trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot
> cleanly between the eyes.
>
> "Excellent!" remarks the trainer.
>
> Next up - the Para's. They finish their cans of lager, smear
> themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into
> the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the
> woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand
> grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they
> emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
>
> "A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done" says the trainer.
>
> Lastly in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs
> whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is
> only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima
> Whisky Tango Fanta one, suspect headed straight for you....."etc.
> After what seems like an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel
> in handcuffs.
>
> "What the hell do you think you are doing?"asks the incredulous
> trainer, "take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked
> you five hours ago!". So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to
> hours, the night drags on and turns to day.
>
> The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by
> the police holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises,
> one eye nearly shut.
>
> "Are you taking the mick!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer.
>
> The police team leader nudges the squirrel who squeaks:
> " Alright, alright, I'm a rabbit!"
> survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some
> basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is
> to go down to the woods and catch a rabbit for their supper,
> returning with it ready to skin and cook.
>
> Night falls.
>
> First up - the SAS. They don infra red goggles, drop to the ground
> and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5
> minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their
> trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot
> cleanly between the eyes.
>
> "Excellent!" remarks the trainer.
>
> Next up - the Para's. They finish their cans of lager, smear
> themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into
> the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the
> woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand
> grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they
> emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
>
> "A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done" says the trainer.
>
> Lastly in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs
> whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is
> only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima
> Whisky Tango Fanta one, suspect headed straight for you....."etc.
> After what seems like an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel
> in handcuffs.
>
> "What the hell do you think you are doing?"asks the incredulous
> trainer, "take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked
> you five hours ago!". So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to
> hours, the night drags on and turns to day.
>
> The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by
> the police holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises,
> one eye nearly shut.
>
> "Are you taking the mick!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer.
>
> The police team leader nudges the squirrel who squeaks:
> " Alright, alright, I'm a rabbit!"
)
