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Joke Du Jour!!



Northstander

Well-known member
Oct 13, 2003
14,031
Stevie Wonder has just finished a sell-out concert in Japan and after
the applause has died down he asks the crowd if there's anything they'd
like him to play. This little Japanese fella at the front is jumping up
and down, shouting and waving his arms like a madman and Stevie asks him
what he'd like him to play. The Jap shouts "Play a jazz chord, play a
jazz chord" so Stevie belts out a 2 minute solo in F minor on his piano
and the crowd are in raptures. "No, No" he shouts "play a jazz chord,
play a jazz chord". A little bit bemused Stevie does a 3 minute
impromptu in A major and gets the crowd rocking.

The little fella shouts "No, No, I want you to play a jazz chord".
Stevie gives in and says "how does that go then?" To which he
replies.....
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{in your best Japanese accent}
"A jazz chord to say I ruv you!"
 










D'Angelo Saxon

SW19ULLS
Jul 30, 2004
3,097
SW19
Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Steven Hawking in a house fire.





What?
 




Superphil

Dismember
Jul 7, 2003
25,627
In a pile of football shirts
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.



At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."



"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."



"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.



"Good," she replies. "Get your own fuckin blanket!"



After a moment of silence, he farted.
 


Lammy

Registered Abuser
Oct 1, 2003
7,581
Newhaven/Lewes/Atlanta
Superphil said:
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.



At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."



"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."



"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.



"Good," she replies. "Get your own fuckin blanket!"



After a moment of silence, he farted.

That is quality!
 






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