Joke Du Jour

[mistahclarke]

Wife’s Diary:



Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.

I can’t explain his behaviour I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. I held him tightly and felt him become aroused and there was a glimmer of hope. We made love but he was still distant and quiet and wasn't tentative to my needs. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.







Husband’s Diary:

Brighton lost. gutted. got a shag though

edited for you

 

[Frank Inkerman]

Duggie F has introduced new training ideas at Payless. He sets up garden gnomes for his players to dribble around. When asked how it was going he replied "Really good, on the first day they only beat us 3 nil".

Yes, I know, it's old.

That's so old it needs CPR - now if I could only remember where my Bee Gees CD is I might be able to help !

 

[surrey jim]

My wife obviously didn't mind me going to the pub on our anniversary.

She knew I'd be hungry and left me two dinners out on the table.

 

[element]

That's so old it needs CPR - now if I could only remember where my Bee Gees CD is I might be able to help !

They're doing a re-mix CD at the moment, featuring two reworkings of old tracks, called 'Not Staying Alive' and 'How Deep is Your Bruv'

 

[Nibble]

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?











































AIDS