joke a la friday.......

[Brighton till i die]

An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
The shopkeeper asks: "Are they twins?"

The woman says: "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they look alike?"

"No", he replies "I just can't believe you got laid twice.

 

[Seagullible]

 

[surrey jim]

 

[Fourteenth Eye]

 

[Statto]

 

[Brighton till i die]

cheers guys - your the best - all this laughter is boosting me confidence no end - i may even start a chant now tomorrow!!

 

[Lokki 7]

cheers guys - your the best - all this laughter is boosting me confidence no end - i may even start a chant now tomorrow!!

I thought it was shit.

 

[Brighton till i die]

I thought it was shit.

f*** ya then dude - you can start the chants - i'll follow!!

 

[TrevorDove]

7/10

 

[Hampden Park]

why did she take two baby goats into a shop?

 

[Lokki 7]

why did she take two baby goats into a shop?

1/10

 

[Hampden Park]

 

[Lokki 7]

I've managed to upset 2 people on a joke thread! Top work.

 

[Hampden Park]

i'm not upset, i am just crying in my spare time.

 

[Blackadder]

A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in an Amarillo
Theater.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy,
"Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't get up from there
I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the cowboy just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he
returned with the manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with
no success. Finally they summoned the police.

The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right
buddy what's your name?"

"Sam," the cowboy moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.
With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony..."

 

[Moshe Gariani]

A drunken cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in an Amarillo
Theater.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the cowboy,
"Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The cowboy groaned but didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient: "Sir, if you don't get up from there
I'm going to have to call the manager."

Once again, the cowboy just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he
returned with the manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with
no success. Finally they summoned the police.

The Texas Ranger surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right
buddy what's your name?"

"Sam," the cowboy moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?" asked the Ranger.
With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony..."

(helps if you do a John Wayne voice for the ranger...)

 

[Basil Fawlty]

 

[CHAPPERS]

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'


The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

 

[D'Angelo Saxon]

Two men are sitting in a pub.

One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.'


The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'

 

[RM-Taylor]

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur ?


Alickalotofpuss