Jeff Stelling's Gillete Soccer Saturday Drinking Game

[maffew]

Every time Joey Barton gets a yellow card you have to try and poke the person sat on your to the right in the eye with a cigar or fag

 

[Barrel of Fun]

sounds excellant but no point in 1 shot of beer, change to vodka

With about 90 goals scored in the football league, not to mention Scottish/Conference and non-league etc. I think Beer would do the trick.

If you haven't done Centurion then you will be surprised by the effect of a shot of beer, around the 70+ mark.

 

[Hannibal smith]

Whenever Robbie Fowler is mentioned - 1 line of sniff

How about If Le Saux is an expert summariser, suck your mates cock?

 

[The Wookiee]

How about If Le Saux is an expert summariser, suck your mates cock?

Or when Ashley Cole gets mentioned you shove your mobile phone up the arse of the person to your left

 

[humpy]

don't forget the when Adam Stansfield scores "Lisa will be pleased " line , got to be worth a shot or two

 

[Lady Whistledown]

The MOTD version:

-Every time Mark Lawrenson says "merment"
-Every time Peter Schmeichel defends an obvious goalkeeping blunder
-When Motty makes a very poor joke at the expense of a dull statistic, then does an annoying chuckle
-Every time Alan Shearer says "at my age"

Bottle of vintage Krug to be downed for that special occasion when a penalty is awarded against Liverpool and both Hansen and Lawro agree it was correct.

 

[D'Angelo Saxon]

Whenever Robbie Fowler is mentioned - 1 line of sniff

We should try this game one Saturday Max...

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

every time lee bowyer is mentioned- beat up an asian

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

This season's list of rules:

- Everytime a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer
- Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)
- Half time:- Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be
imbibed during this period.
- Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking
- Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e."he's hit the beans on toast"!):- 1 shot of Jager
- In the second half, all teams can only be referred to by their nicknames:- Failure to do so results in a 3 beer shot penalty.
- Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: - Last person to shout out 'Mackerel' takes shot of Jager.
- Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out 'Football' takes shot of Jager.
- Everytime Phil Thompson says 'Stevie Gerrard':- 3 shots of beer.
- Everytime Jeff makes an 'A Trialist' joke:- 3 shots of beer.
- Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer
- Everytime Matty Taylor and 'Goal of the Season' are mentioned in the same sentence:- 1 shot of Jager
- Everytime Jeff calls Kenny Deucher 'The Good Doctor':- 1 shot of Whisky
- Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:- Quad bombs (4 jager+redbull) all round
- Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer
- Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer
- Everytime LeTiss is mentioned in connection with a takeaway: - 1 shot of Jager
- Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must be downed
- Everytime Jeff mentions "dancing in the streets of TNS: - 1 shot of jager
- Everytime Jeff says "its Doom and Gloom at..." - 1 shot of jager
- Everytime the team 'Keith' is referred to as just being one guy :- 1 shot of jager
- Everytime Brighton & Hove, or Daggers & Redbridge are jokingly referred to as two different teams playing the same oppo :- 1 shot of jager
- Everytime when Arbroath striker Kevin Webster scores and Stelling says "ohh, Sally will be pleased" :- 1 shot of Jager.
- Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellemy (injury, og, booked, arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of choice.
- Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to shout out 'Cobblers' :- shot of Jager
- Whenever the Carlos Tevez affair/scandal is mentioned :- shot of jager

I have a feeling it'd get really nasty!!