Jeff Stelling's Gillete Soccer Saturday Drinking Game

[The Wookiee]

Current Rules:

- Everytime a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer
- Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)
- Half time:- Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be
imbibed during this period.
- Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking
- Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e."he's hit the beans on toast"!):- 1 shot of Jager
- In the second half, all teams can only be referred to by their
nicknames:- Failure to do so results in a 3 beer shot penalty.
- Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: - Last person to shout out 'Mackerel' takes shot of Jager.
- Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out 'Football' takes shot of Jager.
- Everytime Phil Thompson says 'Stevie Gerrard':- 3 shots of beer.
- Everytime Jeff makes an 'A Trialist' joke:- 3 shots of beer.
- Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer
- Everytime Matty Taylor and 'Goal of the Season' are mentioned in the same sentence:- 1 shot of Jager
- Everytime Jeff calls Kenny Deucher 'The Good Doctor':- 1 shot of Whisky
- Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:- Quad bombs (4 jager+redbull) all round
- Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer
- Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer
- Everytime LeTiss is mentioned in connection with a takeaway: - 1 shot of Jager
- Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must be downed
- Everytime Jeff mentions "dancing in the streets of TNS: - 1 shot of jager
- Everytime Jeff says "its Doom and Gloom at..." - 1 shot of jager
- Everytime the team 'Keith' is referred to as just being one guy :- 1 shot of jager
- Everytime Brighton & Hove, or Daggers & Redbridge are jokingly referred to as two different teams playing the same oppo :- 1 shot of jager
- Everytime when Arbroath striker Kevin Webster scores and Stelling says "ohh, Sally will be pleased" :- 1 shot of Jager.
- Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellemy (injury, og, booked, arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of choice.
- Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to shout out 'Cobblers' :- shot of Jager

 

[CHAPPERS]

That would be an absolute RIGHT OLD LAUGH if their weren't so many rules.

 

[Mr Banana]

How dissatisfying is a shot of beer?

 

[BIRCHYBOY27]

I cant remember all that needs to more simpler.

Like just watch it and drink!!!

 

[bhafc4eva]

Too many rules for my liking wouldn't have a clue whats going on.

 

[Seagull Stew]

Either needs truncating to, say, 15 of those rules; or needs a paramedic on hand!

 

[¡Cereal Killer!]

Thats AWESOME!

I would try it but if it wern't for f***ing SKY being suchs ****s for trying to overprice Virgin and Virgin for being such cheapos I would be able to play

 

[Man of Harveys]

Moany lot, I think that's very funny

 

[BIRCHYBOY27]

Anyway shouldnt you be at the game??

 

[Seagull Stew]

I have to say this is brilliant.

In fact I'm already about to send an email around to friends to arrange this next Saturday!

Although I'm just sticking with these rules:

Everytime a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer
Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)
Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking
Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e."he's hit the beans on toast"!):- 1 shot of Jager
Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: - Last person to shout out 'Mackerel' takes shot of Jager.
Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out 'Football' takes shot of Jager.
Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to shout out 'Cobblers' :- shot of Jager
Everytime Phil Thompson says 'Stevie Gerrard':- 3 shots of beer.
Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer
Everytime 'Goal of the Season' is mentioned:- 1 shot of Jager
Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:- Quad bombs (4 jager+redbull) all round
Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer
Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer
Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must be downed
Everytime Jeff mentions "dancing in the streets of : - 1 shot of jager
Everytime Jeff says "its Doom and Gloom at..." - 1 shot of jager
Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellemy (injury, og, booked, arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of choice.
Half time: - Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be imbibed during this period.

 

[Blackadder]

Sound good to me!

If Thompson's on duty, should be pissed by 3:15!

 

[CHAPPERS]

I have to say this is brilliant.

In fact I'm already about to send an email around to friends to arrange this next Saturday!

Although I'm just sticking with these rules:

Everytime a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer
Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)
Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking
Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e."he's hit the beans on toast"!):- 1 shot of Jager
Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: - Last person to shout out 'Mackerel' takes shot of Jager.
Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out 'Football' takes shot of Jager.
Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to shout out 'Cobblers' :- shot of Jager
Everytime Phil Thompson says 'Stevie Gerrard':- 3 shots of beer.
Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer
Everytime 'Goal of the Season' is mentioned:- 1 shot of Jager
Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:- Quad bombs (4 jager+redbull) all round
Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer
Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer
Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must be downed
Everytime Jeff mentions "dancing in the streets of : - 1 shot of jager
Everytime Jeff says "its Doom and Gloom at..." - 1 shot of jager
Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellemy (injury, og, booked, arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of choice.
Half time: - Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be imbibed during this period.

I reckon that's about right.

 

[strings]

I used to do a simpler version with my mates.

If your team scores - 1 shot of sambuca
If you team conceeds 1 shot of tequila
If you have a player sent off - 1 shot of tequila
If the opposing team has a player sent off - 1 shot of sambuca
If your team miss a penalty - 1 shot of tequila
If the opposing tmiss score a penalty - 1 shot of tequila.

It had mixed results - usually once person would be sober because he supported a team involved in a boring 0-0 draw, and someone would be bladdered because their team were involed in a 4-3 nailbiter having had a player sent off!

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

saw this a while ago when i joined the FACEBOOK GROUP. looks funny though

 

[¡Cereal Killer!]

I used to do a simpler version with my mates.

If your team scores - 1 shot of sambuca
If you team conceeds 1 shot of tequila
If you have a player sent off - 1 shot of tequila
If the opposing team has a player sent off - 1 shot of sambuca
If your team miss a penalty - 1 shot of tequila
If the opposing tmiss score a penalty - 1 shot of tequila.

It had mixed results - usually once person would be sober because he supported a team involved in a boring 0-0 draw, and someone would be bladdered because their team were involed in a 4-3 nailbiter having had a player sent off!

That could work better if each person playing had more than one team, maybe one from each division, or maybe everyone has 2 different random teams (ie Swindon and Leeds) and one team that the person supports

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must be downed

thats the one that would screw people over. he says that every 4 mins!

 

[Napper]

sounds excellant but no point in 1 shot of beer, change to vodka

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

sounds excellant but no point in 1 shot of beer, change to vodka

VILE

 

[CHAPPERS]

Whenever Robbie Fowler is mentioned - 1 line of sniff

 

[maffew]

sounds excellant but no point in 1 shot of beer, change to vodka

er yes

1 shot of vodka per goal