I've got a Croydon pikey coming round on Saturday. How do I make him feel 'at home'?

[Easy 10]

Hang a grubby England flag inside your front room window - this then doubles as a makeshit "curtain".

If you have a front gate, break it.

Make sure your missus has loads of visible tattoos (slag tags) on her arms and legs. You should also think about getting her eyebrow and bottom lip pierced.

If you have children, be sure to tell them to "f*** off" a lot.

 

[Gritt23]

Where's my invite?

Yeah, I was thinking that.

 

[8ace]

Don't have a shower from now until Sunday.

 

[herbicide]

Got a poker night on Saturday, and I've decided to invite a Croydon pikey round to join us.

Because I'm such a thoughtfull host, I'd like to make him feel at home.

I thought I might start with chaining a couple of rottweillers by the front door, and maybe getting some kids from the local orphanage to run around around in dirty nappies.

Any other ideas to make him feel welcome?

Tidy up a bit?

 

[The Peanut Roaster]

Tidy up a bit?

Don't be silly.

I want to make him feel at home.

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

bottom lips pierced.

make sure she has no knickers on otherwise it will spoil the effect.

 

[Seagull64]

 

[les dynam]

dog shite. plenty of dog shite on the lawn to make sure he feels right at home

 

[BlockDpete]

Get plenty of pictures of Eric Cantona.

Especially that photo. The scum really love it, so I'm told.

 

[Everest]

What are you doing letting him play?

He'll only put in 1p for every pound you put in.

 

[philsussex]

What are you doing letting him play?

He'll only put in 1p for every pound you put in.