Is violence ever the answer?

[Parson Henry]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I've being mulling this for a few days now and just can't find the best way to handle it. I desperately want to lay him out but I know this just drags me down to his level. It will also piss off my wife, sister and have possible legal consequences. Not to mention setting a bad example to my sisters kids. But as has been mentioned, he is the lowest of the low and is surely deserving of more than just a quiet word? It seems like he is getting away with it.

You could always find out where he will be one evening and then ask a friend of yours to 'engineer' a disagreement with him at that venue at which time some lusty blows could be landed. Mind you if he is a big lad....

Just a thought.

 

[Lokki 7]

You could always find out where he will be one evening and then ask a friend of yours to 'engineer' a disagreement with him at that venue at which time some lusty blows could be landed. Mind you if he is a big lad....

Just a thought.

Nice idea, problem is he lives a long way off so I will only ever see him when my sis (and probably her kids) are around. He is also a bit smaller me so I'm not too worried on that front, but if you are offering Perry...

 

[chez]

Nice idea, problem is he lives a long way off so I will only ever see him when my sis (and probably her kids) are around. He is also a bit smaller me so I'm not too worried on that front, but if you are offering Perry...

If there's kids involved mate, i think you really have to say/do something. Besides the well being of your sister you cant have kids seeing their mum bashed around by their dad.

 

[HampshireSeagulls]

Don't touch him. You have to be far cuter than that. Let him know that you are watching, and the slightest graze will mean that his life becomes more than uncomfortable. You can do a lot more to someone mentally over a long time than a short 30 second slapping (gratifying, yes, potential to bring shit to your doorstep, lots). You also run the risk that he gets a lucky slap in, and you are left with no position of power.

If he starts to act up, then you can drive him away. That's one of the reasons we have unregistered disposable mobile phones. You can get sim cards for free these days as well. If he is grazing the law in any way at all, anonymous phone calls work well. If his car is even slightly unroadworthy, the police appreciate those calls. Make sure his road tax and insurance are in date. If he gets pulled over, it's a real bugger if he can't find parts of his licence. Computers, passwords, PIN numbers, library cards, Blockbuster cards - everything becomes fair game if he acts up, and he will become paranoid trying to keep himself ahead of the game. Applying for loans in his name is good as well - takes a long time to cancel the paperwork, and destroys his credit rating.

There are many ways of playing with people's heads - the occasional wink, or smile is quite often enough to keep him on guard.

If he is back on the scene, then there is possibly no point in talking to your sister first - she has taken him back despite being assaulted. Do it yourself, but do it without laying a hand on him, and keeping the evidence to a minimum. You can enrol friends as well - it adds to keeping him off balance.

 

[Lokki 7]

If there's kids involved mate, i think you really have to say/do something. Besides the well being of your sister you cant have kids seeing their mum bashed around by their dad.

Indeed. He's not their dad though, which in a way is worse I suppose. I think I may have to find out his address and pay him a home visit.

 

[chez]

Indeed. He's not their dad though, which in a way is worse I suppose. I think I may have to find out his address and pay him a home visit.

You're right mate it probably is worse. How sensible and easy to talk to is your sister? Try and make her see that if he can slap her around there's no reason why he wouldn't do it to her kids.

Dont want to get you into trouble mate but it sounds like a shitty situation.

 

[Lokki 7]

I like your style HS. These are the sorts of suggestions I was looking for. He will get a verbal warning for sure, but I want to f*** him up in a way that causes damage to him and him alone. (Although I am owed a couple of favours from some VERY nasty people if I choose to go all out). I would also like to keep my sister in the dark as there is no point in trying to reason with her. Women eh?

 

[The Large One]

Lokki, you may also need to know all of what the circumstances are that have brought your sister and this bloke back together. I assume she has forgiven him.

I would guess that you are more worried for your sister than you are pissed off with him.

By all means be pissed off with him, but I might venture that you don't really have the right to express your pissed-offedness at your sister - it's not your business. While a quiet word with him may or may not do some good, would that be for your benefit, for his or for hers? You may also piss off your sister if she finds out you went behind her back to 'have a word'. Whatever happens really needs to be done with her blessing.

Failing that, there is always the 'nuclear' option as mentioned above, and take him down a dark alley and repeatedly punch his face until your fist goes clean through. But that might be messy.

Good luck.

 

[chez]

I would also like to keep my sister in the dark as there is no point in trying to reason with her. Women eh?

Lets hope she dont read NSC then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

more self respect for herself.

Hit the nail on the head there old boy. It is precisely this low self esteem, respect, confidence that makes her go back to him.

 

[Chesney Christ 1]

A female friend of mine was raped back in the summer, and I know who the guy who did it is. I've seen him out and about and not done anything, but if I was in an alleyway alone with him I'd have no reservations about beating him to within an inch of his life.

 

[Lokki 7]

would that be for your benefit, for his or for hers?

For her benefit and my pleasure I think is the answer to that. If I don't try and protect her then who will?

 

[chez]

A female friend of mine was raped back in the summer, and I know who the guy who did it is. I've seen him out and about and not done anything, but if I was in an alleyway alone with him I'd have no reservations about beating him to within an inch of his life.

What the f*** is he walking the streets for anyway

 

[Lokki 7]

A female friend of mine was raped back in the summer, and I know who the guy who did it is. I've seen him out and about and not done anything, but if I was in an alleyway alone with him I'd have no reservations about beating him to within an inch of his life.

Well if you need a hand pm me.

 

[The Large One]

For her benefit and my pleasure I think is the answer to that. If I don't try and protect her then who will?

How do you protect someone that doesn't want protecting?

Whatever you do, let her know of your care and affection for her, and NOT your contempt for him. Keep that contempt to yourself. As you said, it can alienate the people you care for if you only operate to your own agenda. Just be there for her.

Sorry to sound like a preacher, but I do appreciate where you are coming from on this.

 

[Lokki 7]

Sorry to sound like a preacher

Not at all, I appreciate your advice.

 

[robbied69]

From a personal situation. I was going out with someone who had suffered from an abusive partner (of 5 years). It ended when he shoved her into a glass frame and left her with a scar above her lip.

In the end when me and this woman dated we met the twat at a party. She wanted to go but I told her to stand up for herself and show him how much she has come on without him. It gave her tremendous self-confidence. She didn't want me to lay a finger on him which I didn't. I did have a kind little word in his ear basically telling him 'if he so much as looked at her i'd kill him'. We never had a problem with him since. Herself and I had a good few years ago and are still close mates which is good. Her self-confidence grew amazingly during that time.

My advice basically is respect your sister and wife's wishes.

 

[Stinky Kat]

Plant some stolen goods or class a drugs on him if you have access to such things and then ring the police