Investment Advice during Credit Crunch

[BensGrandad]

f you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock stock one year ago, it would be worth £4.95 today.
>
>
> With HBOS, you would have £16.50 left of the original £1000.
>
>
>
> With XL Leisure, you would have less than a fiver.
>
>
>
> And if you had purchased £1000 of Seguro Air Lines stock, you would have a measly 49p.
>
>
>
> However, if you had purchased £1000 worth of Tennent's Lager one year ago, drank the lot of it, then re-cycled the cans at an aluminium plant for a cash refund, you would have £214.
>
>
>
> And so, based on the above information, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
>

 

[REDLAND]

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he
drove up saying, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'

Chuck replied,'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with a dead donkey?

Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

Chuck said, 'Sure I can, I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What
happened with that dead donkey?'

Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 each and
I made a profit of $898.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won, so I gave him his $2 back.'

 

[Gazwag]

If I had wagered 1p when I first saw that one here last week for every time that email has landed in somebodies inbox I would be a millionaire