Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
On second thoughts, it could well have been "Why did the Chechen..."
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In case you don't find any in your cracker, it's the crap joke for Xmas thread
- Thread starter El Presidente
- Start date
On second thoughts, it could well have been "Why did the Chechen..."
Chapper's Own Goal
New member
- Dec 29, 2008
- 33
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light-blub?
.
.
Dyslexic drug-addict, choked on his own vimto !!
oldun'but surely goldun ??:
.
.
Dyslexic drug-addict, choked on his own vimto !!
oldun'but surely goldun ??:
Nottseagull
Well-known member
Whats the top holiday destination for lesbians?
Licktenstien
Brest, surely.
Chapper's Own Goal
New member
- Dec 29, 2008
- 33
Lesbos ??
Curious Orange
Punxsatawney Phil
How many software testers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they merely report that it is dark.
None, they merely report that it is dark.
NMH
Banned
How many rock singers does it take to change a light-bulb?
One, but you won't be abe to tear him away from it afterwards.
The Seven Dwarfs sitting in a bath, feeling happy.
Happy got out, then they started feeling Grumpy.
Why did Jesus cross the road?
He was nailed to a chicken.
One, but you won't be abe to tear him away from it afterwards.
The Seven Dwarfs sitting in a bath, feeling happy.
Happy got out, then they started feeling Grumpy.
Why did Jesus cross the road?
He was nailed to a chicken.
Simon Morgan
New member
What did Adam say on Christmas day?
It's Christmas, Eve.
It's Christmas, Eve.
Chapper's Own Goal
New member
- Dec 29, 2008
- 33
What happened when the Pope went to mount Olive ?
Popeye nearly fcuking killed him !!!!!
Popeye nearly fcuking killed him !!!!!
Lewes' best seagull
New member
- Jan 31, 2008
- 1,145
What did one banana say to the other?
Nothing, banana's cant talk
If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls?
Soup
Nothing, banana's cant talk
If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls?
Soup
Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
a. To get to the other Slide.
a. To get to the other Slide.
Hove Lagoonery
Well-known member
- Dec 16, 2008
- 1,039
A certain part of Scunthorpe.
otk
~(.)(.)~
Not from a cracker, but told to me by a cracker 
I remember a few years ago coming back from visiting some relatives in the country. I was driving from their place on a B road when my car started playing up. I pressed on but it finally conked out in a country lane. I opened the bonnet and looked at the engine but nothing looked awry. I heard a voice from behind a bush say, ‘The points have closed up…’. As I knew a little about cars, I took the distributor cap off and indeed there was no gap at the points. Digging a screwdriver out of the glove box, I adjusted the points by eye, put the distributor cap back on and lo and behold, the thing fired up first time I turned the key. Wishing to thank my saviour behind the bush, I looked over and there was only a grey horse. ‘Told you it was the points, didn’t I’ said the horse…
f*** ME I nearly shat myself! A f***ing talking horse no less…
I jumped into the car and drove like a maniac to get away
Finally I calmed down a bit and came across a country pub. Needing a stiff drink, I went in and ordered a double brandy. The landlord asked me if I was OK as I apparently looked white as a sheet. I told him about the incident with the talking horse and he let out small whistle. ‘Was it a grey horse?’ he asked. ‘Yes’ I said. ‘You’re mighty lucky it wasn’t the black horse…’ he said. I gulped.’Why was I lucky it wasn’t the black horse?’ I asked, fearing the worst.
‘The black horse knows f*** all about motors…’, said the landlord with a chuckle…
I remember a few years ago coming back from visiting some relatives in the country. I was driving from their place on a B road when my car started playing up. I pressed on but it finally conked out in a country lane. I opened the bonnet and looked at the engine but nothing looked awry. I heard a voice from behind a bush say, ‘The points have closed up…’. As I knew a little about cars, I took the distributor cap off and indeed there was no gap at the points. Digging a screwdriver out of the glove box, I adjusted the points by eye, put the distributor cap back on and lo and behold, the thing fired up first time I turned the key. Wishing to thank my saviour behind the bush, I looked over and there was only a grey horse. ‘Told you it was the points, didn’t I’ said the horse…
f*** ME I nearly shat myself! A f***ing talking horse no less…
I jumped into the car and drove like a maniac to get away
Finally I calmed down a bit and came across a country pub. Needing a stiff drink, I went in and ordered a double brandy. The landlord asked me if I was OK as I apparently looked white as a sheet. I told him about the incident with the talking horse and he let out small whistle. ‘Was it a grey horse?’ he asked. ‘Yes’ I said. ‘You’re mighty lucky it wasn’t the black horse…’ he said. I gulped.’Why was I lucky it wasn’t the black horse?’ I asked, fearing the worst.
‘The black horse knows f*** all about motors…’, said the landlord with a chuckle…
hart's shirt
Well-known member
Why did the Christmas turkey cross the road?
Because it wasn't chicken.
How did Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even.
Because it wasn't chicken.
How did Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even.
ali jenkins
Thanks to Guinness Dave
How do you get two Whales in a car?
Over the severn bridge
Over the severn bridge
Shinbreath
Member
Two elephants fell off a cliff....
Boom Boom!!!
Boom Boom!!!
Guy Fawkes
The voice of treason
- Sep 29, 2007
- 8,272
An Irishman was walking down the street when he finds a sandwich which is wrapped in foil and has a couple of wires sticking out of it, he immediatley calls the Police
The operator asks him whether it is ticking? to which the Irishman says "No, i tink its Beef"
The operator asks him whether it is ticking? to which the Irishman says "No, i tink its Beef"
NMH
Banned
What's green and smelly, wrapped in silver foil and hangs in a belltower?
The lunchpack of Notre Dame
What did they call the woman with huge breasts, when she married Quasimodo?
The Hunchfront of Notre Dame
The lunchpack of Notre Dame
What did they call the woman with huge breasts, when she married Quasimodo?
The Hunchfront of Notre Dame
:thud: