If you were DW......

[Northstander]

What would have been your full time team talk to the lads?

 

[Da Man Clay]

We haven't got enough bandwith for me to type it.

Probably would have involved many 4 letter words.

 

[Trigger]

We haven't got enough bandwith for me to type it.

Probably would have involved many 4 letter words.

Well done, good ?

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

"you're all ****s"

 

[Scoffers]

I cant imagine him getting angry, I hardly ever noticed him get angry when he was a player, I remember him bottling every 50/50 challenge though

 

[Da Man Clay]

Well done, good ?

 

[byf]

Listen lads,I know Im shi* and defo not qualified for a job this difficult...I'm very surprised you worked it out so quick.

I quit!

 

[Bozza]

The Chesterfield fans leaving Withdean said they could hear the 4 letter tirade from Wilkins as they passed close to the dressing-portacabins, so one can only guess how he upped the post-match blasting on Sunday.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

DW “So, what did you think of your performance?”

KM “Well Gaffer….”

DW “Shut the up! I will tell you what I thought of the game! Not one of you deserves to call yourself a professional footballer going by that display. You couldn’t pass to your own man, tackles were going amiss, you were about as penetrating as a dormouse’s cock! The only threat we had on goal, was during the half time interval when the subs were warming up and Sullivan miscued a pass and it hit the roof of the net. We were being watched by 31 people and Colin the dog. How the can we hold our heads high after that display, I am very tempted to swap you all with the entire squad of Ringmer’s U10s. You might as well have not turned up - had a lie in and gorged yourself on Roast Beef and Yorkshire puddings. Blackpool might only have scored two in that instance! I thought my instructions were easy enough to follow. You all know which magnet you are! I have never seen such a bunch of pitiful losers running around like headless chickens before! What the were you doing out there! On the plus side….What!? There is no plus side! You useless bunch of cretins. Get out”

CHORUS “All of….”

DW “Get the out my sight you bunch of Pansies. I gave you ice cream and I gave you pizza and this is how you repay me? The hand licking, hearing dog on Man of Harveys train could have done a damn sight better than you and we would only have to pay it dog biscuits!”

 

[Wilka]

DW “So, what did you think of your performance?”

KM “Well Gaffer….”

DW “Shut the up! I will tell you what I thought of the game! Not one of you deserves to call yourself a professional footballer going by that display. You couldn’t pass to your own man, tackles were going amiss, you were about as penetrating as a dormouse’s cock! The only threat we had on goal, was during the half time interval when the subs were warming up and Sullivan miscued a pass and it hit the roof of the net. We were being watched by 31 people and Colin the dog. How the can we hold our heads high after that display, I am very tempted to swap you all with the entire squad of Ringmer’s U10s. You might as well have not turned up - had a lie in and gorged yourself on Roast Beef and Yorkshire puddings. Blackpool might only have scored two in that instance! I thought my instructions were easy enough to follow. You all know which magnet you are! I have never seen such a bunch of pitiful losers running around like headless chickens before! What the were you doing out there! On the plus side….What!? There is no plus side! You useless bunch of cretins. Get out”

CHORUS “All of….”

DW “Get the out my sight you bunch of Pansies. I gave you ice cream and I gave you pizza and this is how you repay me? The hand licking, hearing dog on Man of Harveys train could have done a damn site better than you and we would only have to pay it dog biscuits!”

 

[Northstander]

DW “So, what did you think of your performance?”

KM “Well Gaffer….”

DW “Shut the up! I will tell you what I thought of the game! Not one of you deserves to call yourself a professional footballer going by that display. You couldn’t pass to your own man, tackles were going amiss, you were about as penetrating as a dormouse’s cock! The only threat we had on goal, was during the half time interval when the subs were warming up and Sullivan miscued a pass and it hit the roof of the net. We were being watched by 31 people and Colin the dog. How the can we hold our heads high after that display, I am very tempted to swap you all with the entire squad of Ringmer’s U10s. You might as well have not turned up - had a lie in and gorged yourself on Roast Beef and Yorkshire puddings. Blackpool might only have scored two in that instance! I thought my instructions were easy enough to follow. You all know which magnet you are! I have never seen such a bunch of pitiful losers running around like headless chickens before! What the were you doing out there! On the plus side….What!? There is no plus side! You useless bunch of cretins. Get out”

CHORUS “All of….”

DW “Get the out my sight you bunch of Pansies. I gave you ice cream and I gave you pizza and this is how you repay me? The hand licking, hearing dog on Man of Harveys train could have done a damn sight better than you and we would only have to pay it dog biscuits!”

 

[Guinness Boy]

I know we should have gone 4-4-2 but the magnets broke on the tactics board.