Northstander
Well-known member
- Oct 13, 2003
- 14,031
What would have been your full time team talk to the lads?
Last edited:
Well done, good ?DAMANCLAY said:We haven't got enough bandwith for me to type it.
Probably would have involved many 4 letter words.
Trigger said:Well done, good ?
BarrelofFun said:DW “So, what did you think of your performance?”
KM “Well Gaffer….”
DW “Shut the up! I will tell you what I thought of the game! Not one of you deserves to call yourself a professional footballer going by that display. You couldn’t pass to your own man, tackles were going amiss, you were about as penetrating as a dormouse’s cock! The only threat we had on goal, was during the half time interval when the subs were warming up and Sullivan miscued a pass and it hit the roof of the net. We were being watched by 31 people and Colin the dog. How the can we hold our heads high after that display, I am very tempted to swap you all with the entire squad of Ringmer’s U10s. You might as well have not turned up - had a lie in and gorged yourself on Roast Beef and Yorkshire puddings. Blackpool might only have scored two in that instance! I thought my instructions were easy enough to follow. You all know which magnet you are! I have never seen such a bunch of pitiful losers running around like headless chickens before! What the were you doing out there! On the plus side….What!? There is no plus side! You useless bunch of cretins. Get out”
CHORUS “All of….”
DW “Get the out my sight you bunch of Pansies. I gave you ice cream and I gave you pizza and this is how you repay me? The hand licking, hearing dog on Man of Harveys train could have done a damn site better than you and we would only have to pay it dog biscuits!”
BarrelofFun said:DW “So, what did you think of your performance?”
KM “Well Gaffer….”
DW “Shut the up! I will tell you what I thought of the game! Not one of you deserves to call yourself a professional footballer going by that display. You couldn’t pass to your own man, tackles were going amiss, you were about as penetrating as a dormouse’s cock! The only threat we had on goal, was during the half time interval when the subs were warming up and Sullivan miscued a pass and it hit the roof of the net. We were being watched by 31 people and Colin the dog. How the can we hold our heads high after that display, I am very tempted to swap you all with the entire squad of Ringmer’s U10s. You might as well have not turned up - had a lie in and gorged yourself on Roast Beef and Yorkshire puddings. Blackpool might only have scored two in that instance! I thought my instructions were easy enough to follow. You all know which magnet you are! I have never seen such a bunch of pitiful losers running around like headless chickens before! What the were you doing out there! On the plus side….What!? There is no plus side! You useless bunch of cretins. Get out”
CHORUS “All of….”
DW “Get the out my sight you bunch of Pansies. I gave you ice cream and I gave you pizza and this is how you repay me? The hand licking, hearing dog on Man of Harveys train could have done a damn sight better than you and we would only have to pay it dog biscuits!”